


Won't Let You Drown

by brainstorm



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A bit of angst maybe, Depression, Fluff, M/M, i'll add more later if i think of something else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-02-28 23:49:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 70,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2751710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainstorm/pseuds/brainstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall works at a music store and meets this guy. He's wonderful, but he's a mistery and Niall finds him intriguing. He founds out later what's up with him and he just wants to help but he keeps getting pushed away. It's a rollercoaster, just when he thinks he'll get a chance to make things better, he's suddenly far away from it again. It takes time and patience, but he is not going to give up. Not this time. Not on him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> LOOK WHO'S BACK! yeah, I know no one's excited u.u anyways, I literally just thought of that summary so don't really pay too much attention to it.  
> I started writing this story in between exams so it's not the best but I wanted to write something and I've had this idea in mind for quite sometime so I thought, why not? I haven't finished it yet but I'm working on it, but I don't think it'll be longer than 4 or 5 chapters. I still have finals to go so please bare with me cause I don't know when I'll update (I do have a bit more written so don't worry)  
> anyways, I hope you enjoy this!

Contrary to probably every person in the world, Niall actually liked Mondays. He liked them because he liked what he was doing, both his studies and his job. It wasn’t like he had a job that paid him lots or that would make him famous for something, not at all, he worked at a music store, they sold cd’s and vinyls among other stuff, and maybe it wasn’t the biggest store ever but they had some really nice things. He was a music major, hopefully he’ll be a teacher one day, he really liked kids and he loved the idea of teaching music, something he loved and thought could fix every wrong in the world. That was what he wanted to communicate, not only that music was only a form of art, but it was probably the most powerful form of art. To him, at least.

Classes had been great as always, he almost always managed to not get bored and pay attention to everything. Now that he was out of all his morning classes, he was on his way to Louis’, one of his friends from college, who was also majoring in music, but he was a year older than him and he had offered to make a stop at his during lunch time, that way he wouldn’t have to spend money every day in lunch before going to work given that it was a bit far from his own flat and he wouldn’t make it in time probably. Bless Louis.

As always, Niall commented on what his next assignment was, and Louis told him about his experience from when he had to do it the previous year. Of course he offered him help in case he needed it even though he knew Niall was good, more than good and capable to do everything by himself, but still. He also played piano, and Niall played guitar and a bit of drums, but in case he needed another instrument (and just because piano was a bit more complete than the rest of the instruments) he offered it to him if he needed to use it.

When Niall left, he did with a promise of seeing Louis on the weekend to watch the football match, cause he was as much a fan (if not more) of football as himself.

He walked the blocks that distanced Louis’ flat from the store, the wind hitting his face and messing his hair, which he hated but it was autumn and autumn was always a windy season.

He got rid of his jacket as soon as he entered the store and walked behind the counter, sitting in his tall chair and starting to think about what he was going to do for his next project when Zayn came from the small room they had at the back of the store where they kept everything that wasn’t on the shelves.

“Oh, good you’re here already, I was ready to close so I could leave,” Zayn commented as put his own jacket on.

“When have I been late so you actually had to close?”

“Well… never,” Zayn replied after a moment of thinking, “but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t have been the first time,” he shrugged, “anyways, I got class so see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Right, see you tomorrow, mate,” Niall nodded and he gave him what was like a half hug before he was gone.

Zayn was a cool lad, he worked during the mornings, something he didn’t really understand given that Zayn liked his sleep a bit too much probably but somehow he made it work, he wasn’t going to give that much thought. He was majoring in art but had his musical side, he also had a really great voice, Niall thought he could really have a music career if he wanted to, but he never said anything to him. Zayn was also really calm and quiet, the kind of guy you don’t know shit about when he’s not around to talk, the opposite to Niall, actually, who was really outgoing and jumpy and sometimes a bit obnoxious, he dared saying. Also, Niall had this thing about tweeting a lot, what about? Whatever was on his mind at the moment.

During the afternoon guys and girls and men and woman were in the store and he had initiated a conversation with probably most of them. What could he say? He was a talkative person and sometimes he felt a bit lonely in the store with no one to talk to.

It wasn’t until it was almost time to close and he was already grabbing his jacket to put it on that the door to the store opened and a guy entered.

“Oh,” the guy blinked, “I’m sorry, were you closing already?”

“I- don’t worry,” he gestured with his hand, “take your time,” he smiled politely because how was he going to kick out a customer, right? That wouldn’t be polite at all.

“Thanks,” the guy smiled slightly before getting into the store.

Niall walked back to his place behind the counter, where he scrolled through his twitter feed, glancing up to watch the guy’s movements from time to time. He didn’t think he was going to steal anything, no, he never wanted to think like that of anyone, but the guy also didn’t seem like the kind of guy, with his long coat and combover hair and shoes. But it was just… routine, he guessed.

Ten or fifteen minutes later, the guy approached the counter with two cd’s in his hand and put them on the counter, giving Niall a small smile.

“Oh,” Niall’s face changed suddenly and he smiled, “these are some great albums, mate.”

“I found out the band not long ago and thought they were cool so I’m giving these a chance,” he shrugged as he took out his wallet.

“You’ll like them, trust me, they are amazing,” he commented as he took the money the guy was handing him.

The guy was good looking, Niall noticed now that he was up close, he had brown hair and brown eyes, a cute nose and some really good cheekbones Niall would kill to have. Oh, and pouty lips. He didn’t look older than… what, twenty three? Maybe it was the stubble.

“Here,” Niall handed him his change and put the cd’s into a small bag that he handed to the guy. “There are a bunch of bands like this one,” he commented as he grabbed his jacked again, “not as big, probably but if you want to catch a glimpse of them and what they do, you can come around sometime and I’ll give you somewhere to start off,” he kept talking as he circled the counter, walking in the direction of the door. “How did you end up here, by the way?” he asked, not giving the guy a minute to even say anything to him.

“Uhm- a friend of mine was here a couple of weeks ago and said there were some really nice things so I thought I’d come around and see,” the guy explained as he opened the door and walked out, Niall following behind.

“Smart decision,” the blonde smiled as he put the key in the door, locking it, Zayn was going to be there later because he forgot something, so he didn’t bother with the metal shutter. “I’m going that way, you?” he asked, pointing to his left.

“Me too,” the guy gave him a nod.

“So are you like-“ he started as he started to walk, “like into this kind of rock music?”

“I’m a bit into everything,” the brunette shrugged and spoke, Niall noticed his voice was deep and that he had a non-London accent, “I like music in general and it’s kind of a hobby I’ve got, you know? Looking over the internet or magazines for new bands, the genre doesn’t matter that much.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean,” actually, that was pretty much what he did in his free time, it was like he couldn’t get enough music to hear, he always needed something new, “I’m like that myself too,” he smiled at him and the guy returned the smile but he felt like it kind of didn’t really reached the guy’s eyes.

“I’m going that way,” the guy pointed across the street once they reached the corner.

“Oh, I’m going this way,” Niall said and pointed to his right, “anyways, you’re welcome to come around whenever you want to,” he repeated his offer.

“Sure, I’ll be around some time again then,” he nodded with a small smile.

“Oh, I’m Niall by the way,” he introduced himself and put his hand out for the guy to shake.

“I’m Liam,” he stretched his own hand and shook it with his.

“Right, see you around then, mate!” Niall sounded maybe a bit too cheerful but when did he not?

“Alright,” he gave him a short nod, “cheers, mate.” And then he turned around to cross the street.

*

For some strange reason Niall didn’t quite understand, he found himself thinking about this guy Liam at least once a day ever since he met him. It wasn’t like- he didn’t know what he thought about or why but something about him had definitely got him and he was hoping he’ll be back sometime soon so he’ll get the cance to talk to him and hopefully find out what was what intrigued him so much.

And he did come back, a week and a half later, but he did.

Thursdays were the only day of the week Zayn didn’t have classes and he rarely stayed in the store with Niall, most of the time he decided to go home to work on a project or just take a nap, but today wasn’t one of those days, today found both Niall and Zayn sitting behind the counter.

Just like the previous time, Liam arrived almost at closing time.

“Are you guys still open yet?” the brunette asked as he closed the door behind him.

“Yeah, just for a bit though,” Zayn answered, lifting his eyes from his phone just as Niall came back from the back room.

“Liam!” he exclaimed when he saw him and Zayn threw him a confused look that he ignored, “thought you won’t come back,” he faked a pout that made Liam smile slightly.

“Had kind of a hectic week, sorry,” he apologized as he started walking around the store.

“I was joking,” Niall let out a small laugh and walked towards him, Zayn still looking at him confused, “glad you’re back though, mate,” he put his hand in the brunette’s back, “so how did you like the albums you got last week?”

“Oh- they were- they were cool, like,” Liam turned to face Niall properly, “it had some really good upbeat songs and I liked the riffs. Nice lyrics too but I don’t know if those slow songs suits them too good, you know? Like- like they have a different energy and the singer’s voice doesn’t really suit them but they were okay, but those songs kind of bring my mood down a bit, I don’t know.”

Niall stared at the guy for a moment and blinked, “wow,” was the only thing he could say and he heard Zayn chuckled from the counter a couple of meters away. “That was- that was a good insight to be fair, mate,” he blinked again and move his hand away from Liam’s back to let it fall to his side just as he shrugged and gave him the tiniest of smiles, “so what are you looking for now?”

“Uhm… I don’t know, something like- more edgy? I feel like those two albums were a bit too country for me?”

Niall put his hand over his heart and made something that sounded like an offended sound, “those are my favorites!”

“I, uhm- sorry?” the guy said looking around, embarrassed and Niall laughed.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding, I know what you’re looking for,” he commented as he turned to walk away to somewhere else, pointing to the guy with his head to follow him. “So I think you might want to take a look here,” he stopped a couple of meters away, pointing to the section Liam should look at.

“Will do then, thanks Niall,” he said and started looking around.

Niall walked back to the counter where Zayn was looking at him with an inquisitive raised eyebrow.

“What?” he asked with a slight frown.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“All that warm greeting and joking around.”

“That’s just the way I am?” Niall sounded confused as to why Zayn was asking him.

“Nevermind,” Zayn shook his head and looked down with a small smirk on his lips and Niall rolled his eyes.

Niall leaned his body against the counter and looked around the store but they kept going back to Liam, it was like there was something that dragged his attention to him and he wanted to know why without staring at him in an obvious kind of way. He watched as his hands moved over the cd’s, taking some of them in his hands and looked at the back, as if he could get an anticipation of what he was going to hear just by reading the names of the songs. He watched his face as it scrunched up in concentration. The was also something about his posture, the way he stood there imposing, almost magnificent but somehow that wasn’t reflected in his face, or the way he talked. His voice was deep but didn’t sound sure of what he said, and his eyes… his eyes were probably the most intriguing. It was like there was no emotion there or as if he was sad, or tired or a mixed of emotions he couldn’t quite comprehend or read.

His phone buzzed in the pocket of his jeans and he took it out, seeing it was a text from Zayn, who was literally standing next to him but with a counter in the middle, so what the hell…

_‘take a picture, it’ll last longer’_

Fucking Zayn. He turned to look at him and rolled his eyes, causing his friend to let out a small laugh but none of them said a thing, at least he didn’t have anything to say himself.

“Picked these,” Liam approached the counter and put the cd’s he picked there.

“Ooooh, you’re gonna love this one!” Niall took one in his hands and smiled as he looked at it.

“Just cause you love it doesn’t mean he will,” Zayn commented skeptically.

“How could someone not like this, it’s a masterpiece,” he turned to look at Zayn in disbelief then turned to look at Liam, “trust me, you’ll like this one. What’s the other one let me see,” he commented as he was handed another cd, he scrunched up his nose, “not sure if you’ll like this one.”

“Why not?” Liam’s brows furrowed.

“It’s not like- hasn’t got that kind of edgy sound you’re looking for, the songs are not like- they don’t have that much energy on them, you seem to like that.”

“Yeah… then what would you say I should buy?”

“Hm, let me see,” Niall thought for a moment and walked to the section Liam had been standing moments before looking for something, making an ‘aha!’ sound when he found it, then walked back to the other boys. “I’d say this one,” he handed a cd to Liam and he inspected it for a moment.

“Okay,” he nodded, “I trust your taste” Liam told him and Niall beamed at him.

“Thanks, mate, that means a lot,” he laughed, “you let me know when you’d listened to it, yeah?”

“Will do,” he nodded as he paid, this time to Zayn because he was on the other side of the counter while Niall stood next to him just as his phone rang and Liam looked at it and then pocketed it in his long coat. “See you later um- I guess,” Liam nodded before turning around.

“See ya’, Liam,” he smiled to him before he was gone.

“You’re so screwed, bro,” Zayn looked at him and shook his head with a chuckle.

“What- why? What are you talking about?” Niall frowned in confusion even though he knew what Zayn was about.

“Don’t play dumb, you know what I’m talking about,” Zayn gave him that face that said ‘it’s obvious’, “I can see your crush from miles away.”

“What crush? Zayn, I met the guy last week, this is the second time I’ve seen him in my life.”

“Yeah but your behavior doesn’t say that, nor does your body language.”

“My body- what have you been smoking lately? God.” Niall huffed.

“Just cigarettes, you know that. But the point is- I don’t mind, I mean, it’s fine, he’s a good looking bloke and all, right?” Zayn spoke and Niall looked at him with an amused face because what was he on about now? “But there’s just- something awkward, like something’s off with him, you know?”

Niall sighed because _yeah, he knew_ , and that’s what he was trying to figure it out thought it was nothing and probably stupid because he just met the guy. “yeah, I noticed that.”

“But that’s what catches your attention, right?” Zayn asked but Niall didn’t answer. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes, none of them carried with the conversation, but what else was there to say anyways?

Niall was a bit in thought though, Zayn said he could see a crush coming but… it didn’t felt like it, this was… strange, but not- not a bad strange, just… awkwardly strange, like he wanted to know, wanted to meet this guy and ask him why he always looked so unsure and why were his eyes sad and he wanted to give him a bunch of cd’s as a present and make him happy. He wondered what his expression would look like if it wasn’t as reserved as he always looked. But that was just stupid and non sense. He couldn’t deny Liam was, at least fashionably, what he thought it was his type of guy.

“We should get going,” Zayn took him out of bubble.

“Yeah, alright,” Niall nodded, putting his jacket on and also his scarf, winter was not far away now and he didn’t want to get sick.

“See you tomorrow, bro,” Zayn gave him a side hug when the store was already all closed and they had to part ways.

“See you tomorrow, Zayn,” he smiled before making his way home.

*

Liam wasn’t in the store until Wednesday of the next week. This time with another guy.

“Told you it was great,” a tall guy with curly brown hair and a long coat like Liam commented as he sipped on what Niall supposed it was coffee.

“Yeah, I know,” Liam nodded at him then closed the door once they both were inside the store, “hi, Niall,” he offered the blonde a small smile.

“How’s it going, mate?” he smiled back.

“Good,” he shrugged, “this is Harry,” he pointed to the guy standing next to him, “he’s the one who told me about this place.”

“Good choice, mate, good choice,” Niall smiled at him too.

“Yeah, a friend of mine told me about this place,” the guy, Harry, commented with a deep, slow voice, “I think- I think he’s a friend of yours, actually?”

“Yeah?” Niall asked interested, “who?”

“Uh, Louis.”

“Oh, Louis! What a great lad!”

“Yeah, he’s kind of great,” Harry chuckled.

“Oh, you’re _that_ Harry!” Niall exclaimed then felt his eyes go wide. Oops.

“What do you mean?” he asked him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion but a smile still playing on his lips.

Liam was just standing there, not really looking at any of them, just around, he probably felt like he was intruding the conversation or something.

“I mean- nothing, I meant nothing,” he shook his head and spoke to Liam to change the topic, leaving a confused Harry out, “so how did you find what you bought last week, eh?”

“Oh- uhm. Great, actually that one you gave me instead of the one I wanted to buy is probably my favorite so far,” he smiled shyly.

“Told you!” he exclaimed happily, “so what now?”

“I- uh, wasn’t planning on anything, Harry was, actually.”

“Oh. Yeah? What were you looking for?” he turned to the curly hair lad.

Niall talked with Harry for a while and wandered around a bit, the blonde helped him find what he was looking for. Some girls came into the store and bought something, so did a couple, and when Niall was done with the register, he found Liam going through the R&B section.

“Can’t help you there mate, that’s Zayn thing,” he chuckled and stood next to him and Liam smiled slightly, “wide music taste you’ve got, huh?”

“I- yeah, I think I do.” Liam turned to look at him and shrugged a bit.

“That’s good,” he nodded, “music’s like- like some kind of force that makes everything better, you know?”

“Agree,” Liam nodded his head and went back to the cd’s, “I’d know that,” he mumbled and Niall barely heard it but didn’t comment on it.

“Ready to go? Already chose,” Harry approached them with his albums of choice in hand.

“Sure.”

They walked to the counter where Harry paid and they chatted for a minute before they left the store. Why was Niall so intrigued by Liam though?

*

Fucking winter was coming already and of course Niall was already on his way to catching a cold, he couldn’t stop coughing and sneezing and his eyes had been watery all day. He didn’t even go out on the weekend!

It had been a peaceful Tuesday though, luckily for him because this almost cold was killing him already. And different to every time Liam came into the store, he didn’t at almost closing time. Huh, interesting.

“Hello,” the brunette greeted taking off his scarf.

“He-“ Niall intended on greeting too but was interrupted by a coughing fit, “-llo” he finished and Liam chuckled.

“You alright there? Seems like the weather’s not been kind to you,” Liam smiled at him and walked to the counter.

“Yeah, I-“ he coughed again a bit, “the ending of autumn, start of winter has never been my favorite.”

“Yeah, it sucks, right?”

“Right you are, and I ran out of tea and my throat’s killing me from all the coughing I did today.”

Liam stared at him for a moment, as if he was thinking deep and Niall didn’t know what to say but he felt his cheeks warming up already.

“I can go to the Starbucks real quick and get you one, I mean- if you want,” Liam offered a bit unsure.

“No! No, of course not, I’m not making you go there, I’ll be-“ what a great time for another coughing fit, really.

Liam chuckled, “I reckon honey and lemon will do you some good,” he commented, “I’ll be right back.”

“No-“ the blonde tried to speak but Liam smiled over his shoulder and exited the store.

 

Niall actually thought that Liam had left, because twenty minutes had passed and he hadn’t been back so he just probably said that to get away from getting a cold himse-

“Sorry it took so long,” Liam closed the door behind himself when he entered and chill went down Niall’s spine because of the cold entering the store.

“You didn’t have to,” Niall said softly when Liam put a cup over the counter for him and waved his hand around as if it was nothing.

“Don’t worry.”

“Oh! I’ll give you the money, I-“ Niall went to take the wallet of his pocket but Liam stopped him.

“No, don’t worry about it, it’s nothing,” he shook his head.

“But-“

“Take it as a thank you for all the good recommendations.”

“But you always pay for them, that’s not fa-“ he started coughing.

“I’m serious, don’t worry about it,” Liam insisted, “I’m looking for a particular album this time, it’s not for me though,” he said, looking for something on the pockets of his coat, “but I can’t remember the name.”

Liam kept going through his pockets, taking out some papers as if he was looking for something while Niall sipped on his tea until Liam exclaimed a low “aha!” and handed him a folded piece of paper, “that’s what I’m looking for.”

Niall furrowed his brow in thought when he unfolded the paper and read, “not sure if we’ve got it, but let me take a look.”

Niall went around the store for a while, looking for the album Liam had jolted down in the paper, then excused himself for a second to go look at the back of the store. Liam didn’t even move from his spot in front of the counter, waiting for Niall to come back.

“We don’t have it,” the blonde gave him an apologetic smile, “but I can-“ he stopped for a second to clear his throat, “I can get it for tomorrow if you don’t need it now?”

“Yeah- yeah, that’d be great, if you could, I mean- it’s alright if you don’t.”

“No! No- I’ll have it for tomorrow.”

“Okay, I can pay you now if-“ Liam started when he was interrupted when his phone started ringing, “just a minute,” he mumbled to Niall with a small, apologetic smile and answered, “hello?”

Niall scribbled down the name of the album Liam wanted as he heard Liam talking on the phone, saying something like “oh- thank you so much for letting me know,” and then he hung his phone and pocketed it again. “Um, do you mind if I pay tomorrow when I get it? I kind of forgot my wallet at Starbucks,” Liam explained, sounding embarrassed.

“And they called you to let you know? Wow, most people would’ve stole it probably,” he laughed, then coughed, “anyways, don’t worry about it.”

“My card’s on the wallet, I guess they found it,” he shrugged, “you sure? I can just run there and come back and pay-“

“Seriously, Liam, don’t worry,” Niall insisted and sipped what was left of his tea, “I kinda just wanna go home and lay down cause I feel like sh- don’t feel very well, so don’t worry.”

“Oh,” Liam blinked, “oh. Okay. I’ll be back tomorrow then, I guess.”  

“It’ll be here.” He nodded and smiled.

“Alright. Thank you, Niall, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Liam gave a short nod before turning to walk towards the door.

“See you, Liam.”

*

Wednesday came and it was time for Liam to go back to the store, the truth was, he didn’t actually need all those albums he had bought. He liked music, _loved_ music, yes, maybe love was even an understatement, but there was something bigger, more powerful that kept him going around there again and again every week. He tried to deny it at first, didn’t want to admit it, not even to himself but he came into terms when he realized that nothing was ever going to happen, most probably, at least. But Niall’s personality was so great, likeable, and… somehow warm, always so carefree and talking to Liam like he was just any other person, looking at him like nothing was wrong with him, different to what every people seemed to think about him just with glancing at him.

His face reappeared from under his scarf when he stepped into the store, it was a particularly windy and cold day outside. He approached the counter in which Niall’s co-worker, he remembered him from a couple of weeks ago, was leaning on, reading some book.

“Um… hello?” he said tentatively and the black haired lad lifted his face to look at him.

“Hi, how can I help you with?”

“Uh- is Niall in?” he asked, a bit confused as to how he should approach the situation.

“No, he’s not- oh! You’re Liam, right?” he asked, realization appearing on his features.

“Yeah…”

“He let this in for you, um-“ he looked for something under the counter and frowned when he apparently didn’t find it, “give me a second,” he told Liam before disappearing behind the desk, leaving Liam with a confused look on his face. It took him just a moment though before he reappeared, “here,” he handed Liam a cd, “said you were looking for it.”

“Thanks,” Liam took it in his hands, “how much is it?”

“Uh- Niall said you shouldn’t pay for it.”

“What- why not?” Liam frowned.

“Don’t know,” the other shrugged, “his textual words were “do not take his money by any means, Zayn” so I’m not letting you pay for it if Niall told me not to?”

“But, that’s not- I should pay for it.”

“Well, Niall said no already so really, let it be.”

Liam sighed defeated, “alright. Thanks,” he smiled slightly, “what’s up with him?”

“Oh, he’s sick so he stayed at home,” Zayn explained.

“Right. He wasn’t well when I was here yesterday,” Liam commented, remembering the day before.

“You know what,” Zayn took a piece of paper lying around on the counter and a pen, scribbling something down, “you should text him or something, you guys seem like you’re friends already,” he handed the paper to Liam.

“Um…” Liam just blinked, not taking the paper he was being handed.

“Niall gets bored really easily, especially when he’s sick.”

Liam seemed unsure though, wouldn’t it be weird if he just texted him? He met him not long ago and where the hell was he supposed to had got his number from?

“Um… mate?” Zayn got him out of his thoughts.

“I don’t know… wouldn’t it be weird though?” he asked and Zayn laughed.

“Nah, Niall’s everybody’s friend, he likes you already so why not? He’ll appreciate having someone text him that’s not me or his friend Louis.”

He liked… Liam?

“I, uhm… okay,” he hesitantly took the paper from Zayn’s hand. “Thank you for this, by the way.” He said, pointing to the cd he was holding on the other hand.

“Don’t worry,” Zayn smiled slightly, “see you around, I guess.”

“Yeah, see you,” he nodded, before turning around and going for the door.

He made sure his scarf was covering his nose too once he was out of the store and walking home. He felt a hole burning in his pocket where he had put the paper with Niall’s number. He couldn’t just do that though, right? Like, that’d be completely out of the blue and he knew it. But that didn’t mean that Liam actually didn’t want to. He wasn’t very good at making friends, okay, he admitted that, but Niall seemed cool and not bothered by him or his weirdness at all… maybe he could give it a chance after all. But he needed to think of something cool to write, not his plain boring texts with like, two syllables on them.

*

Niall felt like shit, like complete and utter shit, his muscles ached, his head was throbbing and he was pretty sure he had a fever but he was too tired to move from the bed to actually check. And he was cold too. It was lunch time already and he was hungry, so despite not wanting to get up, he had to, so he threw a few too many hoodies on an went into his kitchen to warm up the soup Louis had been kind enough to prepare for him the day before. And his friend had managed not to burn the whole place down so that was pretty opportune too. He put the bowl with soup in his microwave and went into his bathroom cabinet to look for his thermometer and ibuprofen, that’d come in handy. He went back to the kitchen and put the bowl and a glass of water on a trail and made his way back to his room and got under the blankets, the trail resting on his legs.

He realized he hadn’t checked his phone in forever, probably even since last night, so he grabbed his phone from the nightstand, unlocking the screen and looked at his notifications. He had texts from Louis and Zayn and one from an unknown number, which he decided to check first.

_‘hey niall, zayn said u were sick and gave me ur number so i decided to check on u. thanks for the album btw! this is liam :)’_

Niall could almost feel the shyness and insecurity in this as if he was hearing Liam talk. But wasn’t that cute though? Also, fucking Zayn, he was going to kill him.

He saved the number first, then pressed the reply button and started typing away,

_‘liam! nice to talk to ya and no worries! ya didn’t pay right? i told zayn not to let ya pay. how ya doing?’_

He pressed send, not really reading the text again before doing it and replied to Louis text, then opening a new one to send to Zayn:

_‘you gave liam my number, i fucking hate u man’_

He put his phone back on his nightstand again and went back to his soup before it was too cold to eat it and he had to go back to the kitchen to warm it up, no way. His phone vibrated against the surface of the nightstand and he took it in his hand again. He had two texts.

_From: Zayn_

_‘so what? i thought that’s what you wanted?’_

Niall rolled his eyes at his friend’s text, not even bothering to reply but damn, Zayn knew him too well, didn’t he?

_From: Liam_

_‘i didnt. you didnt have to do that though but thanks. i think the question here is how are U doing’_

Unbelievable, he thought Zayn hadn’t heard one word of what he had said to him but apparently he did, good.

_‘no worries. well tbh with ya i feel like shit, this freaking weather’_

This time he let the phone rest on the trail, next to the bowl while he went back to his soup. He turned on the TV he had in his room, it wasn’t that big but it was okay, he was so bored already, he hated being sick.

He got a new text not long after he was done with his food.

_From: Liam_

_‘i feel you, today was very cold. i hope you get better soon, let me know if you need anything :)’_

How was Liam this fucking cute, seriously. He sent back a _‘thanks liam, will do :)’_ and carried the trail back to the kitchen before getting rid of the hoodies to get back into bed.

He measured his temperature and yes, he did have a fever. So he took some ibuprofen, turned off the TV and went back to sleeping. Sleeping does wonders when you’re feeling sick (and when you’re not, too.)

 

When he woke up again, it was almost six in the afternoon. Great, now he probably won’t be able to sleep at night because he slept so much. He stayed in bed because his muscles were sore, not as much as before, but still. He hated this, lying on the bed, looking at the ceiling with absolutely nothing to do. He took his phone and sent Louis a text, just because he was bored but got a reply that stopped him from keep doing it.

_‘doing a project mate, sorry! talk to you later!’_

Louis hated being interrupted while he was composing or writing, and he got it, he did because he was just the same, he hated being interrupted just when his inspiration was either starting to kick in or it was at its highest.

So he decided to text Liam, because why the hell not. Also, he could later blame it on being sick and not being able to think properly if he felt stupid later.

 _‘I’m bored :(‘_ was the only thing he typed, and funny enough, he got a response a minute later.

_‘rather be bored than having all this paper work :(‘_

Oh. So Liam was working. Maybe he was interrupting him and he didn’t want to be disturbed.

 _‘sorry to interrupt you, didn’t mean to’_ he sent back, no smiley or whatever.

_‘no! no, in fact pls do cuz i dont want to type anymore in my computer or my eyes will fall off’_

Niall chuckled at that response and at the way Liam typed, really, why did he type so awfully bad?

So that was kind of the start of Niall’s night, which consisted mostly on texting Liam along with watching re runs of his favorite shows on TV and eating some more soup. He checked his fever again, noticing that it was gone and decided to take a shower and change the sheets before it was back and he wouldn’t want to move again.

He had texted Liam until almost 2 a.m. when he started to drift off and decided it was okay for the day, they had talked for the longest about who knows what, really, mostly about music and bands and all. But after all that time he realized that the other boy probably had to work the next day so he better leave him to sleep.

_‘i dont really sleep much but night niall :)’_

Niall frowned at that, so he asked in his next message, _‘why not? night liam, talk to ya tmrrow :)’_

He didn’t get an answer to that.

*

When Niall woke up the next morning his back was killing him, but that was probably because he had been lying in bed all day. Which he always thought was completely non sense, you go to bed to feel better and then you feel worse, way to go.

He stretched despite the aching of his muscles, especially on his legs, he didn’t want to walk ever again, but still moved and sat on the bed, shivering because of the cold, throwing a hoodie that was lying around on and made it to the kitchen. Tea and toast would have to do ‘cause he wasn’t in the mood to cook an actual breakfast.

Once he was back in his bedroom with the trail and breakfast, he decided to check his phone, then again with texts of Zayn and Louis, but no Liam. He would’ve been lying if he said he didn’t have the tiniest hope for Liam to text him again in the morning, but guess that would’ve been too much, after all they barely knew each other and just texted during one day, that didn’t mean they were friends or whatever. But still, it made him kind of sad.

After breakfast, he decided that he could do a bit of his project for college, now that he wasn’t going to class or to work, he better start working on it, so he sat on his bed with his guitar on his lap and a notebook in hand to scribble down any ideas.

Good thing about music is that it makes you forget about everything, so that’s why he was surprised when the bell to his flat was ringing. He frowned in confusion, he wasn’t expecting anyone to come around. He looked at the time on his phone, huh, it was lunch time already. The bell rang again and he sighed, putting his phone in his pocket and getting up from the bed and walking out of his room towards the front door. He looked through the peephole and smiled when he saw Louis standing on the other side.

“Lou,” he said softly when he opened the door, his voice was poor, all ruined from all the coughing and his throat kind of hurt.

“Thought I should come around and visit my favorite friend,” Louis smiled, stepping into Niall’s flat.

“Thanks, I’m bored as hell,” he commented as he closed the door.

“That’s what I thought,” Louis laughed because when was he not bored if he wasn’t surrounded by people? “I also brought lunch.”

“That’s great, thanks bro.”

“Should we eat then? I’m starving!”

“Sure,” he shrugged, walking into the kitchen and getting plates and forks and knives. “What did you bring?”

“Chicken!” Louis exclaimed happily, getting the food out of its bag, “I’m making you more soup later so you can keep it for when you’re hungry.”

“Thanks Lou, you really don’t have to.”

“I know, but I know you get irritable when you’re hungry _and_ when you’re sick so I’m being a good friend, yeah?”

“Thanks, mate” Niall smiled at him.

They started eating and Niall told him he was working on his project, that he had a few things in mind but couldn’t really pick one so he was just fooling around with all of them, maybe he’ll find a way to mix them all in one. Louis advised him not to go for very complex things, because simplicity could be really good if he found a good way to express it. He told them about what was going on in college that day even though Niall didn’t miss much because he had been absent just one day (maybe two because he probably wouldn’t be able to be there the next day either) but it was still good to hear everything was okay.  Louis was in the middle of a sentence, chewing on a bit of chicken and Niall was listening to him when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out, and smiled when he saw Liam’s name on the screen.

_‘how are u doin tday? :)’_

Niall smiled bigger, maybe he didn’t get a morning text because that might have been too much but this was something, Liam was thinking of him!

“What was that smile?” Louis asked with a cheeky tone, “who’s texting you?” he raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, um-“ he moved his eyes from the screen to look at Louis, he knew that if he told him he’d have to deal with jokes and all but, there was nothing there, so he had nothing to worry about that, right? “This guy I met at the store some weeks ago, he’s cool.”

“You totally like him, don’t you?” Louis squinted his eyes at him with a smile playing on his lips.

“What- no! Of course not, Louis!”

“Then why are you smiling stupidly at your phone?”

“Am not,” Niall frowned.

“Yes, you are. Admit it, mate, you like the guy.”

“Louis, don’t-“

“I just _think_ it’d be good for you-“

“I met him less than a month ag-“ Niall raised his voice which ended in a horrible cough fit, Louis even had to stand up to give him a couple of pats in his back.

“You alright?” Louis asked worried.

“’m fine, thought I was gonna die for a second.”

 “You’re overreacting,” Louis rolled his eyes, “come on, text your future boyfriend back.”

“He’s not-“

“You said it, he _is_ not, but he _will_ be.”

“Louis, what the hell? You don’t even know the guy, and to be quite honest with you,” he coughed again, “neither do I.”

“Tell that to your face next time,” Louis smirked and went back to his lunch.

Fucking Louis.

 

 _‘but i kinda miss your recommendations :(‘_  Liam texted him. They had been texting for hours now, Louis was long gone and Niall had went back to writing his project, now he was just lying in bed, watching some TV show he wasn’t really paying attention to.

_‘i can still give some to you, gimme a minute and i’ll think of something!’_

Niall grabbed his laptop that was lying on the bed next to him, even though he hasn’t used it in all day and opened his music library, scrolling down and searching for something Liam might like. They had talk a lot about music yesterday while they were texting so he was sure he should be able to find something for him. His phone buzzed again.

_‘dont worry, ill stop by when youre better, zayns not fun :(‘_

Niall should’ve thought that was rude, but actually, it wasn’t at all. Liam had always stopped by when he was working and he was true, Zayn wasn’t the most fun person to be around, cause he was always in his own little world, which wasn’t bad, he was a great lad, a great friend and he loved him, but he understood what Liam was trying to say.

 _‘i know i know i’m the life of the party!’_ Niall texted back, trying to sound cheerful.

He managed to write just a bit more before he got a response. Liam was probably at work yet so he was texting as quick as he had done the night before, but at least he had someone to talk to, he didn’t feel alone.

_‘yeah u r :)’_

The thing about Liam’s text was that they were nice, just like him but… but it wasn’t the same. There were always smiles and he was talkative and all but… but that wasn’t how he was when you talked to him face to face. He didn’t mean Liam was boring or not nice, not at all, the thing about the brunette was that something was off with him when you saw him and he noticed it straight away, but it was not his place to ask what it was, hopefully, if they ended up building some kind of friendship he will, or Liam will come around. But it was intriguing because he genuinely liked the guy but felt somehow sorry, not for him but for the way he saw him, like he was… sad? all the time.

*

The week after that, Niall was already going to classes and work again. He couldn’t say he felt like new but he was definitely feeling better, his muscles were no longer aching and he didn’t have a fever anymore, so he figured that if he used enough clothes and a scarf to stay warm, he couldn’t be that bad. But the cough though… that was still pretty awful.

He hugged and had a small chat with Zayn, who he hadn’t seem for like a week, about what’s been going on in the store and some random comments his friend had to make before he was gone to his own classes.

 _‘back at the store, stop by if ya feel like it later !’_ he decided to text Liam because well… why not?

He didn’t have the chance to check his phone that much later because weirdly enough, it had been a really busy day at the store. Well first of all, new albums were delivered and he had to check everything was in order, then he had to place them all in the correct section. After that, he checked the inventory because Zayn hated to do that and someone had to so that just left Niall to do it. Some girls had stopped by later, all in similar outfits looking for the album of some band Niall didn’t have the slightest idea it existed but promised he’ll get his hands on it for the next week if they wrote down the name and all he needed. And he also has now a new band to check, way to go!

By the time it was getting dark outside and it was almost closing time, he was reading through his twitter feed when he realized that Liam had never replied to his message. Well, maybe he wasn’t keen on seeing him the-

“Hello,” a voice came muffled from the door and he lifted his eyes from his phone to see Liam closing the door behind himself and unwrapping his scarf from around his neck.

“Oh, hey,” Niall smiled happy, “thought you weren’t coming.”

“I never replied to your text!” Liam exclaimed then and hit his forehead with the palm of his hand, “sorry about that, it’s been a busy day,” he gave him an embarrassed smiled.

“Don’t worry, for some reason it’s been a busy day for me too,” he chuckled, then coughed. “Oh! I got you this,” he told Liam as he looked for something under the counter, handing him a cd when he found it.

“Oh,” Liam blinked, “thanks, you didn’t have to,” he stared at the album in his hands for a moment, before taking his wallet out.

“No,” Niall put his hand on the one that was holding the wallet, “it’s a thank you for keeping me entertained the past week when I was sick.”

“But-“

“No buts,” Niall smiled.

“Thanks,” Liam smile, put his wallet back in his pocket. “So how are you feeling, better?”

“Yeah, well… I still have this horrible cough but the rest is gone, nothing that a big scarf and a coat can’t fight, you know?” the blonde laughed.

“Right,” Liam chuckled, “I’m glad you’re better, I missed this place,” he smiled shyly and Niall could almost see the embarrassment on his face. This guy was actually cute.

“Are you trying to fish for free albums?” Niall narrowed his eyes at Liam with a small smirk.

“What-“ Liam eyes went wide, “no! of course not!” he laughed.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Niall laughed with him and then silence fell between the two. “So, uhm,” he cleared his throat and suddenly he didn’t feel as confident as before. He scratched the back of his neck and tilted his head slightly, “would you like to go for coffee sometime or something?” he asked finally, the question that had been running through his mind the whole past week.

Liam didn’t say anything, just stared at him and blinked, then a small smile appeared on his lips, “yeah,” he spoke slowly, “yeah, I’d like that.”

“Great,” Niall smiled sincerely.

“I’ve got, uhm- I’ve got work tomorrow but maybe on the weekend?” Liam asked apologetically.

“Weekend sounds just fine.”

“Right, uhm- whatever time it’s fine by me so just- just text me a place then?”

“Will do then,” Niall nodded as his phone started ringing. “uhm, I should take this,” he told Liam after he glanced down at his phone, seeing his mum was calling.

“Right,” Liam nodded, “see you soon, Niall.”

“See you, Liam!” he said cheerfully as Liam walked out of the store.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a break from studying so I could come here and update this. originally this was supposed to be put up in two halves but 1) they'd be too short, and 2) I wouldn't want to leave you with a cliff hanger.  
> anyways, enjoy and let me know what you think!

“So you basically have a date,” Zayn commented as he chewed on his food. Him and Louis were over at Niall’s place for dinner.

“It’s not a date,” Niall rolled his eyes at his friend as he sipped on his beer.

“Wait, who are we talking about again?” Louis asked confused.

“Liam,” Zayn answers before he could, “this guy that comes to the store every week because he’s obviously in love with Niall.”

“He’s not- Zayn.” Niall gave him a stern look.

“I’m just stating the obvious out there, bro,” he shrugged and keeps eating.

“Oh!” Louis’ face turns into one of realization, “the one you were texting the other day!” he exclaimed and smirked, “what did I tell you that day, Niall? I don’t want to say that I told you so but I told you so,” he sing song’d.

“No,” Niall says sternly again, “we’re just going for coffee, it’s not a date- it doesn’t mean anything.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” Zayn says, “you’re gonna come to me next week and you better tell me it worked, okay?”

“There’s nothing that has to work!” Niall exclaims defeated.

“Alright, okay,” Louis says pacifically and raises his hands in a sign of peace, “we believe you, alright? Zayn?”

“Yeah, okay,” Zayn comments nonchalantly, not even looking at them but instead keeps his eyes on his phone and Louis rolls his eyes at him and shook his head.

“This is not a date and we’re not making fun of you anymore, okay?” Louis said and seemed pretty serious.

“Thanks,” Niall sighs in relief, then he goes back to eating his dinner and so does Louis. Zayn keeps looking and typing on his phone, barely paying attention to them while he pops a bit more food into his mouth but nor Louis or him are speaking, they are just silent as they ate. That until a smirk made its way to Louis’ face, uh-oh.

“You’re getting laid soon!” Louis exclaimed and wrapped his arms around him, given that they were sitting next to each other and squeezes him so tight Niall thinks he’ll die from asphyxia. He didn’t say anything though, just sighed in defeat, what was the point anyway, right?

*

_‘still wanna go for coffee even with this weather?’_

It was Saturday afternoon and it was raining in a way Niall had never seen before, which was really inopportune, just when Niall decides is a good time to ask Liam for coffee, London goes and fucks it up, thank you very much. Maybe it’s because of that, because he decided to actually act on his feelings, who knows.

He got a response almost immediately, he’d like to think that Liam was waiting for him to text him.

_‘if ure up for it then yup :)’_

Liam texting was terrible, teeeerrible, but it was still cute nevertheless.

_‘i do, should we meet up near the store? don’t wanna get all wet :(‘_

Because he didn’t know were Liam lived, so suggesting a place near the store was the best he could come with, and because he really didn’t want to walk around with this weather when he had just got rid of that awful cold.

_‘i can pick u up, got my new car yesterday! :D’_

Huh, interesting. But still, he didn’t want to bother him.

_‘i can take the bus, dont worry!’_

Almost as if Liam had been waiting for his reply, he got himself one not even a minute later.

_‘noppp, gimme ur address i’m picking u up’_

Well… he couldn’t say no to that, right? He texted him his address with a smiley face and got a reply a minute later saying he would be over half an hour later with another smiley face.

There wasn’t any need to, but he still wanted to look good, not like, too forced, and it was still raining outside, so there was no point in wearing the nicest clothes when there was a possibility of them getting all wet and ruined, so he settled for a pair of light jeans and a white shirt. Then… plaid shirt, and a coat, that’d be fine, right? He wasn’t going to be out in the cold that long.

He didn’t really bother with his hair, he couldn’t really do it himself properly and the humidity was most likely going to ruin it so no point on that either. Once he brushed his teeth he still had ten minutes until Liam picked him up so he settled for watching some TV meanwhile.

 _‘already hereeee’_ was the text he got exactly ten minutes later, seemed like Liam was one of those persons who liked to be punctual. He didn’t bother to text back, given that he lived in the first floor of the building, so he turned off the TV, pocketed his phone, grabbed his wallet and keys and off he was.

He didn’t have to look for the car as it was parked exactly in front of the entrance of his building. He saw Liam waving at him from the inside and smiled, running around the car to the passenger seat, opening the door and getting inside, barely getting wet.

“Hi,” he greeted as he closed the door and turned to look at Liam with a smile.

“Hello,” Liam smiled back, “you didn’t get too wet, right?”

“Nope,” the blonde shook his head, “you parked exactly in front of the building so didn’t really have time too,” he laughed.

“Good,” he nodded, “where are we going?”

“Oh, uhm…” Niall blinked, he didn’t really think of a place to go.

“There’s this small place near where I work, they make the best cinnamon rolls ever- I mean, if you like them,” he offered Niall a shy smile.

“Yeah- yeah, love cinnamon rolls. We should go there.”

Liam started the car then, the windscreen wipers on as the rain was still going strong.

“So you got yourself a car, huh? It’s nice,” Niall commented as he looked around the car for a bit before looking at Liam. It wasn’t like, the latest car in the market nor was it a really expensive car but it was definitely nice and well, he had a car and Niall didn’t.

“Yeah, it was my dad’s actually, he got a new one and I kind of bought this one from him,” Liam explained, not taking his eyes of the road, which Niall was thankful for cause that was something that made him nervous, “not fancy but I thought it’ll come in handy,” he shrugged.

“Definitely,” Niall laughed.

 

There wasn’t any place to park near the coffee shop so Liam didn’t have a choice other than park around the corner, having them running under the rain to get into the shop as fast as possible.

“Sorry about that,” Liam apologized once they entered the place.

“Not your fault, nothing to worry about,” Niall gestured with his hand as they walked further into.

Now that he looked around, there were quite some people in there, it was either a good day for having coffee, and this place was good just as Liam said before, or everyone was just trying to hide from the rain at the moment.

They got their orders, both coffees, Liam getting one a bit stronger than his, and cinnamon rolls for both, Niall was excited to see if it was as good as the other boy had told him. They had found a table at the back of the shop, where it was still a bit crowded but not as loud as in the front.

“So, um, you’re obviously not from here, right?” Liam asked as he sipped on his coffee but didn’t look directly at Niall.

“Yeah, no,” he explained, “came all the way from Ireland last year, always wanted to live in London so here I am.”

“Last year…” Liam nodded with a thoughtful frown, “how old are you by the way?”

“Twenty – one.”

“Ah, so am I,” Liam nodded and Niall’s eyes went a bit bigger for a second, really? Liam looked a bit older, but it was probably the formal clothes he always saw him on. Talking about that…

“I thought you were a bit older,” Niall said with a very embarrassed smile.

“I’ve been told that before,” Liam shrugged.

“I think- I think it’s the clothes, you know? The once you wear always, like, shoes and long coats and all that. You look different now, like… more twenty one-ish” is that even a thing? Great, Niall, just great.

Liam chuckled, “yeah, I’m not always wearing that thing, that’s just for work,” he explained. He was just wearing jeans and boots and a hoodie, almost the same as Niall, just Niall would never wear boots, those look weird on him.

Niall asked him about work, and Liam had told him he worked at a company, doing some accountant stuff and paperwork mostly but that he wasn’t studying because he didn’t really feel like it, he didn’t feel he was prepared or ready for uni for some reason he didn’t want to elaborate and it was okay, Niall wouldn’t push that.

Niall told him about his family back at home, that his brother was married and he had a kid. He told him that apart from his job at the store, he was majoring in music and he swore that small smile Liam gave him reached his eyes.

They talked about music, of course, they always did, but most of the time, it was just Niall talking and Liam listening while sipping on his coffee or having bits of his rolls. He didn’t really mind, he had always been one to talk a bit too much, and he did make Liam laugh or smile or got him to talk but it was weird, like he was a different Liam than the one he met at the store. Not necessarily a bad different, not at all, just… different.

It was starting to get dark outside, well, even darker given that it was still raining and the sun hadn’t been out all day, so they decided it was time to head home because believe it or not, Niall sometimes ran out of things to talk about. But even if Liam didn’t seem to be the guy he thought he was (even though he always thought something was weird about him) he still liked him, something still attracted him to Liam (other than his physical appearance and looks) that made him want to come back to him, maybe the intriguing aura around him, the fact that Liam knew Niall’s whole life by now but he didn’t know anything about Liam’s.

“So… running it is,” Niall smirked when he stepped outside the coffee shop and under the rain that was still falling, and the next thing was they were running back to Liam’s car around the corner.

Liam sighed in relief as soon as his back hit the back of the seat and he closed the door of the car, Niall getting inside two seconds after him.

“I loved running in the rain when I was a kid, my mum used to get mad at me always,” Niall chuckled and his eyes closed for a second.

“I used to like it until I did it on a winter day and then caught a horrible cold,” Liam chuckled too.

“You were a restless child!” Niall laughed this time.

“I was,” Liam nodded lost in thought and with a melancholic voice. “This was nice,” he turned his face to Niall, “I mean, I had a good time today,” he smiled softly.

“Yeah, I did too,” Niall nodded in agreement, “we should do it again sometime. Oh! Maybe we can go to that place on the other side of the town, I heard they made the best chicken and I’ve wanted to go there since they opened but nor Louis or Zayn had time, always been too busy for me,” he rambled as he made a pout.

Liam was still smiling at him softly, some kind of… fond look on his face Niall hadn’t seen before until then. “Alright. We can go there.”

“Yes! I knew you wouldn’t be anything like those traitors,” he narrowed his eyes and laughed.

Liam kept his smile as he turned to start the car, “do you need to be somewhere I should I just drive you home?”

“Home. Definitely home, still have a project to finish,” Niall sighed, remembering he still had stuff to do for college.

“Oh. I didn’t mean to interrupt you if you needed to-“

“No, it’s fine,” Niall stopped him, “it’s good to go out, distract yourself a bit, you know? I’ve been working on most of my projects last week while I was sick so I guess I needed a break from it.”

Liam nodded, not saying anything and not taking his eyes off the road.

“It was a good break, in case you were wondering,” Niall smiled, this time not looking at Liam. Why not throw a bit of flirting out there, right?

Niall talked for most of the way back, Liam just nodding or commenting on some stuff. It was a short drive anyway.

“Here we are,” Liam said as he parked right in front of Niall’s building like he did earlier that day.

“Thanks, Liam,” Niall smiled, “see you soon?”

“Text me when you’re up for chicken and I’ll be ready,” Liam smiled at him.

“Great!” Niall exclaimed, maybe a bit too happy and hugged Liam then realized what he had done and moved away carefully and apologized with an embarrassed face, “sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Yeah- yeah, soon,” he nodded and opened the door, “bye, Liam.”

*

“… so it was definitely a date,” Louis commented as he inspected some album he wanted to take home.

“It was, I told you the other day,” Zayn flicked through the pages of his new comic.

The three of them were at the store, it was Thursday and Zayn had decided to stay in to keep Niall company when Louis just appeared out of the blue, happy as ever cause he had passed some exam and he had now a few weeks off to do absolutely nothing.

“It wasn’t a date,” Niall rolled his eyes, “we went for coffee and nothing else happened.”

“Did he pay for you?” Louis asked.

“No” Niall rolled his eyes again.

“Why not? That’s not very gentlemanly of him,” his friend shook his head.

“Because it was not a date!” Niall exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air, “also, what makes you think someone should pay for me and not the other way around?” he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Niall, please,” it was Louis’ time to roll his eyes at him. “Was he at least nice?”

“He’s nice,” Zayn commented, not really looking at him.

“Yeah, he’s always nice,” Niall shrugged as if it wasn’t a big thing.

“And you’re seeing each other again, right?”

“Yeah, maybe I’ll text him later, don’t know really.”

“Ugh, Niall, please, pleeeeease, don’t screw this up, yeah? He sounds like such a nice guy!”

“What is that supposed to mean?! Why would _I_ screw anything up and you don’t even know the guy!” Niall exclaimed, now feeling irritated. “You know what? I’m leaving.”

“But it’s your shift-“ Zayn started before he was cut off by the blonde.

“Louis’ working my shift cause I can’t stand any of you,” he said, now wrapping his scarf around his neck.

“But Louis can’t work here- anyways, it’s closing time already,” Zayn shrugged before he continued with his argument.

No matter how much Niall wanted to stay mad at his friend, he couldn’t, and in the end, he ended up waiting for them until Zayn was closing the store so they could leave.

 _‘up for chicken tomorrow?’_ he sent Liam a text.

“Is that Liam you’re texting?” Louis wiggled his eyebrows.

“No,” the blonde stated firmly, “and I swear to God, Lou, if you-“

“Okay, okay, got it,” Louis laughed.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out.

_‘ready whenever u r just lemme kno’_

He couldn’t help the little smile that appeared on his lips.

*

Liam picked him up the next day when he was out of college for lunch, they didn’t have that much time because Niall had to work later, but they’ll make it in time. He had to avoid Louis because he didn’t want to explain to him that he was seeing Liam, so he quickly texted him that he wasn’t having lunch with him that day. Of course he got a text asking him why after but he didn’t bother to reply.

“So, I never asked,” Niall started, turning his body to the side to look at Liam who was driving, “how did you get into music? I mean,” he stopped and thought for a second, “you said before that it was important for you, right? So, I mean- was it always that way?”

Liam licked his lips but didn’t answer immediately, “yeah,” he finally said with a nod, “have always liked it since I was a kid, you know? School was a hard time for me and I guess that reaffirmed it too, has always been some kind of escape, I guess.”

Niall nodded as he heard him talk, he wanted to ask why hasn’t school been nice to him, school is supposed to be a good time for everyone.

“How about you?” the brunette asked him.

“Oh. Me. Yeah, I loved it since I was a kid, used to have a bunch of toys that were like guitars and pianos and I always wanted to pick up the nearest instrument,” he chuckled at the memories of him as a kid, “guess it was never a doubt for me. I learned to play guitar later and here I am now.”

Niall was the one talking most of the ride, given that the place they were going was on the other side of town, it took them some time to get there. It was a bit uncomfortable sometimes, the silence, and when he had to bring up something out of the blue, but he enjoyed Liam’s company nonetheless, because he didn’t look nervous or tense or anything, he’d like to think that it was because he was easy to be around.

“It’s there, right?” Liam asked as he parked the car and pointed to a place across the street.

“Yeah, that’s the one,” Niall nodded, “thanks for coming here with me.”

“No worries,” Liam offered him a smile as he turned off the engine and got out of the car.

They crossed the street and walked into this… restaurant? Guess it could be called that way. It wasn’t anything fancy, let alone romantic, which was good, and which is why Niall asked Liam to go with him, it wasn’t a date, it was friends just going out for lunch before work.

“I want to try everything!” Niall whined as he looked at the menu, “look at all the ways you can cook chicken and all the garnishes!”

Liam chuckled at his comment, “I already chose what kind of chicken I want, but you can pick two other things and I’ll order one and we can share, I- um, if you want, I mean.”

“But haven’t you chosen anything yet?” he asked. He didn’t want Liam to give up whatever he wanted to have just so Niall could try just one more thing.

“I was thinking I should go for some kind of salad but I’ll let you choose that, whatever is fine by me,” Liam shrugged.

“You sure? Don’t want to pick for you if you want something already.”

“Nah, it’s fine, seriously.”

“We should just pick something together,” Niall said, leaning over the small table and putting the menu in the center of the table between both of them just as Liam leaned in a bit closer too.

They did end up ordering a salad, and then some fries with bacon and cheddar because, in Niall’s words, “how can anyone resist bacon and cheddar? On fries!”

Surprisingly, their food didn’t take much to be placed on their table and Niall was happy to just dive into his plate, which cause Liam to chuckle, as soon as he put a fry on his mouth.

“What?” he blinked at him.

“Nothing,” he shook his head and went serious again.

“You should definitely try these,” Niall pushed the plate with the fries closer to Liam, even though the table was pretty small and was close enough for him to reach for them.

“No, those are yours,” Liam shook his head.

“But I wanted to try the salad! I thought we were sharing,” he pouted.

“You can have all the salad you want.”

“Then you can have all the fries you want too.”

“I’m fine, seriously, I don’t even eat that much.”

Niall frowned for a second but tried to hide it, he didn’t sleep that much and he didn’t eat that much? Something was definitely going on with Liam. He thought about asking, because he cared, because if something was off then maybe he could help, or help him look for help. But somehow he felt like it was not his business and he didn’t want to seem nosy.

“But I’m gonna look fat eating all this alone!” Niall exclaimed in fake hurt.

“But you are so skinny!” Liam exclaimed back with a short laugh.

“I don’t care, you’re eating-”

“But-“

“And we’re not leaving until you’ve finished your food,” Niall stated firmly and Liam raised an eyebrow. Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have sounded that strict but he was not letting Liam give him all his food.

“Okay,” Liam sighed in the end before taking one fry with his fork and putting it in his mouth. Now it was time for Niall to raise an eyebrow at him.

“We’re gonna have to talk about your eating habits, young man,” he pointed with his fingers and trying to be serious, which was completely ruined when he chuckled, causing Liam to chuckle too.

It was an uneventful lunch, they chatted a bit, Niall told Liam about his classes that day and that he’ll probably have to make the inventory today because Zayn never did it and that it was very boring. This time Liam talked about more, told him that making inventories wasn’t probably half as boring as the paperwork he had to do in the office.

Then they talked about the food, well, about the food they were eating and Niall confessed that he was a shit cook but that he’d like to learn, given that he liked eating, knowing how to cook proper dishes would come in handy for him. Liam on the other hand, was apparently good at cooking, not like, the best, but he managed. His fajitas were apparently the best. So when Liam told Niall he’d make them for him one time, the blonde held him to that promise.

After paying and leaving the place, they got into Liam’s car again and started they way back to their respective side of London, where both of them had to head for work. They were stopped at a red light and Niall was talking about who knows what when he noticed Liam was not really paying attention to him but looking at some sign about a movie that was on the cinema.

“Wanna go see that movie?” he asked immediately when there was a horn from someone behind them. Liam started the car.

“Yeah, super heroes movies are my favorite,” he looked a bit embarrassed but still smiled slightly.

“We should go see it, I like super heroes movies too.”

“You do?” Liam’s voice sounded happy and hopeful all of a sudden.

“Yeah, if I knew you liked them then I should have told you to go sooner!”

Niall didn’t even like super heroes movies that much, they were okay, they were fun to watch and all but the way Liam sounded and how his eyes had that small glint made Niall say that. He didn’t know what it was about the brunette that got him so attracted, there were so many things about him he’d like to know and somehow he felt at ease when he was around and that was a feeling he’d like to keep.

“We should go tomorrow,” he added then, “it’s Saturday after all. I mean, uh- if you don’t have plans already.”

“Yeah, no. No plans tomorrow, we should go,” Liam smiled and looked at him from the corner of his eye.

“Great! I’ll buy the tickets and let you know, yeah?” and maybe that sounded a bit too excited but who cares.

“Fine by me,” Liam shrugged.

*

Niall and Liam decided to meet at the cinema the next day, their movie started at six, so they got there just a while before so they could buy pop corn and all that.

Their seats were on the last row because Niall hated being too close to the screen, especially when he watched action movies, it made him dizzy, but he just realized that he hadn’t asked Liam about it when he bought the tickets so he was just hoping he wouldn’t mind, and he didn’t.

The movie was good, as he said before, he liked super heroes movies but from time to time he found himself glancing at Liam and his concentrated face. He was gorgeous, even under the almost nonexistent light of the room. And at some point, he leaned into the armrest of his chair in a way his shoulder bumped into Liam’s, and he either didn’t mind or it didn’t bother him.

Liam’s arm came to rest in the armrest too, his hand hanging of the edge of it and Niall didn’t even think about when he did it, but he moved his arm so it was resting there too, their arms pressed together, and he laced their pinkies. Liam turned to look at their hands, then to look at Niall and a soft smile appeared on his face before he turned to the screen again.

The sounds of the movies were in the background for Niall now, he wasn’t paying attention, his heart was racing and why? He’s gone on dates before but no- _no,_ this wasn’t a date. But why did it felt like it so much? Why didn’t Liam move his hand away? Their pinkies still laced together and her shoulders pressed together too. That small smile Liam gave him felt like it had taken his breath away and it had probably meant nothing. He needed to do something and he would as soon as they were out of that damn movie.

 

“I’m so glad you told me to come see the movie cause no one would’ve done that probably,” Liam commented as they walked out of the room.

Niall just nodded, too lost in his own thoughts as Liam kept talking, and he was barely paying attention, but he was sure he had never heard him talk that much.

“Are you okay?” Liam asked with a frown, “you’re very quiet.”

“What?” Niall shook his head and turned to Liam, “oh. Oh, yeah, I’m fine, I kinda zoned out, I’m sorry,” he smiled apologetically.

“So, um… what now?” Liam asked when they stepped out of the cinema and into the cold air again. It was dark already, it was probably dinner time.

“I um… I wanted to talk to you about something, actually…” Niall said, balancing on his feet and trying to remain calm not to show he was nervous even though he was.

“Uh- sure,” Liam nodded slowly with an expectant expression.

“So, uh- I don’t know how to say this without making it sound weird and I hope I’m not imagining things but…” he stopped for a second to think what he was going to say. “I know- I know we haven’t known each other for long, right? Like- two months probably? And um, I might be seeing things wrong but… I feel like there’s something. Going on between us, I mean.” He stopped in hope that Liam would say something. He was so nervous he could almost hear his heart pounding inside his ribcage.

“Yeah, I- I think you might be right,” Liam said softly, looking away from the blonde’s face after a moment and Niall sighed in relief, he felt like a weigh has been taken off of his shoulders. He wasn’t the only one then.

“I think I- I think I’d like if we went out sometime like- a date,” he said. He couldn’t believe they were having this talk just outside the building of a cinema. “I mean, I know that this last few times kinda looked like dates but I thought that maybe this time we could do it for real?”

“I’d really like that,” Liam smiled, looking at Niall in the eyes and he felt like blushing when Liam’s face fell suddenly, “but um… I think there’s something you need to know. About me, I mean.” Liam looked away from the blonde’s face.

“Okay…?” Niall was confused, was that supposed to be a bad thing? Because from Liam’s tone, it seemed like it.

“But- but not here. Would you mind going somewhere else?”

“Not at all. Where?”

“Well… could go to mine, it’s not too far… and then we can talk properly there.”

“Alright,” Niall nodded, “lead the way then.”

 

Liam’s flat was actually just a couple of blocks away from the cinema. He hadn’t even taken his car that day so they just walked. It was a silent walk, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, probably because both of them had things in mind and that kept them busy enough not to realize. Niall wondered what could be so important that Liam would have to warn him.

The building Liam lived in was a lot nicer than his, not that his was ugly or anything, just… boring. This at least had a nice plant and a mirror when you entered. They took the elevator and Niall prayed it’d be just for a couple of seconds. Apparently he wasn’t as good at hiding it as he thought though.

“Are you okay?” Liam asked him concerned.

“Yeah, I’m- claustrophobic.” Which was one of the reasons Niall lived on a first floor, so he could use the stairs, he had specifically looked for that.

“Oh, I didn’t know- we’re almost there, you  okay?”

“Yeah, yeah- fine.” Niall nodded slowly.

He lived on the fifth floor, so it wasn’t that long of an elevator ride, but still, Niall was thankful when they were out of it.

Liam opened the door and as soon as he stepped outside something attacked his leg.

“What the-?!” Niall exclaimed and took a step backwards and looked down, “oh, hello!” his face suddenly illuminated when he saw a dog.

“Sorry about that,” Liam closed the door behind himself and smiled at Niall. He then turned to look at his dog, “be nice to our visit, alright Loki?”

“You named him Loki?” the blonde asked amused.

“Um- yeah…” Liam scratched the back of his neck.

“You surely do love super heroes movies,” he laughed and squatted down so he was at the same height that the dog, “hi Loki, my name’s Niall,” he scratched the top of his head and the dog made a keen sound. “What breed is he?” he turned to ask Liam.

“Well everyone thinks he’s a husky, but the actual name of the breed is Alaskan klee kai.”

“But they are really alike to huskies,” he turned to the dog again.

“Yeah, but they are a bit smaller than huskies,” he walked further into his apartment, “let me put some more food for him and then we’ll uh- talk.”

“Sure,” Niall nodded and stood up again, “go get some food, Loki, c’mon,” he patted between his ears and the dog barked at him happily before turning around to follow Liam.

He didn’t move from his spot, just stood there, looking around. The flat was pretty nice, not like something he’d decorate but nice, it looked… to cozy, as if a family had lived there before.

“You could’ve taken a seat,” Liam nodded when he was back.

“Oh,” the blonde blinked and looked at Niall, “I was just looking around, it’s nice here, looks cozy,” he walked until he reached the sofa and sat down.

“It used to be my parents house when they lived here in London before they married,” he sat in sofa too, leaving a prudent distance between Niall and him.

“So that explains it then,” Niall chuckled.

Some strange silence fell between the two, none of them knowing what to do or say next. But it was Liam who broke the silence in the end. He sighed first.

“So… this is gonna be an awkward talk…”

“Only if you want it to be,” Niall shrugged, turning to look at him.

Liam just stared at him for a moment and Niall felt a bit judged under his stare, mostly because he couldn’t read the expression on his face and he didn’t know what he was thinking about.

“I don’t know where to start so I’ll just- I’ll start when we first met right, and I’ll explain from there, okay?”

“Whatever seems easier for you,” Niall nodded, “don’t be so tense, yeah? ‘s just me, I don’t like it when people are tense around me, makes me feel bad,” he pouted and saw that Liam smiled a little at him. He loved being able to put that small smile in his face cause he always looked like he needed to be cheered up and there was nothing Niall liked more than cheering people up. Maybe that’s why he liked Liam so much, it was what he needed to bring balance into his life.

“Alright, so… my friend told me about the store, yeah? And we met that time, remember?” he asked and Niall nodded, “and I don’t know, at first it was weird for me cause you were so talkative and happy and like… pleasant but I liked that cause that’s exactly what I’m not and-“

“You’re pleasant to,” Niall frowned.

“No, I’m not, no need to lie about such things,” Liam shrugged as if he already knew that.

“Well you are to me, I like you.”

Liam tried to suppress a smile again, “don’t do that, I’m trying to tell you something,” he mumbled.

“Sorry,” Niall chuckled, “sorry, keep going.”

Liam took a deep breath and let it out, “so I’m really bad at meeting people, right? Like- it’s nothing new, I just am but there’s a reason for it but- but you were just different like- like I felt pulled in your way, you know? As weird as it sounds.”

“Not really, I mean-“ Niall licked his lips, “can I be dead honest with you?”

“Uh- yeah, of course,” Liam nodded and waited for Niall to talk.

“I’ve always felt like- I don’t know how to say this without it sounding harmful so like, don’t take it the wrong way, yeah? Please.” Niall paused and Liam gave a short nod, “since the first time we met, you know, at the store, it was like… like something’s wrong, something in your face- no! no, let me explain,” Niall tried to clarify when he saw Liam frowning at him and he muttered a ‘damn’ under his breath, “you’re like- so, so nice, okay? You’re nice and I like being around you because just like you feel, there’s something about you that drags me in, and I don’t know what it is.” He stopped, thinking what else he wanted to say, Liam just remained quiet. “I think it’s- maybe it’s the fact that I don’t know much about you but you’re always nice to me, the fact that you actually like having me around and don’t think I’m annoying. But what I’d like to know the most is… what is it when you smile, like- like you want to seem happy and you’re trying but you’re not and that kills me and I’ve been trying to figure it out all this time…”

Liam sighed and let his back hit the back of the sofa and rubbed his hands down his face.

“Fuck,” Niall muttered, letting his body fall backwards too until he was in the same position as Liam, not looking at him, “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m so sorry, Liam, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad or-“

“I don’t,” Liam interrupted him, “you’re right. About what you said about me. I’m quiet, I don’t talk much. I’m nice- I mean, I try to be at least. And I’m not happy. I’m not.” Liam stated simply with a small shrug.

Niall wanted to say something, he wanted to ask why and he wanted to ask what he could do to help him but didn’t know how, didn’t know if he should, if he was in the position to do so.

“This is what I was trying to explain,” Liam sat straight again and so did Niall, looking at him.

“I’m not gonna- I won’t judge you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Niall commented, maybe that’ll make Liam feel more comfortable and at ease.

“You don’t know yet,” he mumbled.

There was a moment of silence, could’ve been thirty seconds or thirty minutes but none of them said a word, Niall wasn’t sure what could be so horrible that Liam had to take him to his place to tell him and still have a hard time doing it.

“So um, when I was in high school I was… diagnosed with, uh… depression…” Liam spoke softly, almost inaudible and looking at his hands resting on his lap.

Oh.

Niall blinked, not sure what he was supposed to say, which happened a lot since he entered Liam’s flat, so he remained silent, waiting for Liam to say something else.

“And I’ve had… some really awful times. I’m- fine. Right now. I guess. I don’t know. One day I can be fine and the next day everything can be completely different.” Liam kept talking, still not looking up. “I’ve got trouble sleeping, sometimes I sleep too much, but most of the time, I can’t really sleep. Sometimes I don’t feel like eating. Sometimes I eat too much. I can’t- it’s hard to concentrate, that’s why I don’t study. I just can’t.”

Niall moved closer so there wasn’t any space between them and put a hand on Liam’s knee and the brunette’s head shot up, eyes meeting Niall’s. The blonde nodded and squeezed his knee in a sign for him to keep going.

“I’m- I feel hopeless. Helpless,” his voice trembled, “I’m sorry,” he tried to covered with an unsuccessful chuckle, “I’ve never really talked about this to anyone.”

“That’s fine,” Niall smiled reassuringly, “I’m not gonna leave so if you need to get it off your chest, I’m listening.”

“I just-“ Liam cleared his throat to get rid of the lump in there, “I wanted to give you a heads up, wanted to give you the chance of getting out of this before you got into it and someone got hurt.”

“No one’s gonna get hurt,” Niall squeezed his knee again and moved even closed so now their legs were pressed together, “I just told you, I’m not leaving.”

“But, I- are you sure?” Liam looked at him with sad, puppy eyes. “It gets awful like- there’s anxiety and anger and this empty feeling and- and sadness. I’m sad. I’m just sad a lot. All the time.”

“And that’s okay. You’re allowed to be sad. What you’re not allowed to think, is that no one will love you because of that.”

Liam’s eyes that were casted down shot up to that and he looked at Niall with an unreadable expression. Is like a million things were running through his head ‘cause Niall was seeing it in his eyes, until they finally stayed somewhat dull.

“Don’t say that, you don’t know how it’ll be,” Liam mumbled once again and sighed.

“You’re right, I don’t, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up that easily. I don’t give up on people, Liam.”

“How do you know you won’t give up on me then? Everyone did.” This time Liam sounded even angry despite his soft voice.

“I don’t know. But I can promise you I’ll try my hardest.” Niall reassured him. “Look,” he sat a bit more straight, “when I first met you, you were already this way, okay? And then we talked and talked and kept on talking and you were always this way, right? And that never stopped me from liking you, so why would it happen now?”

“Because you don’t know me that much yet.”

“Then I’d like to. And I’d like to keep hearing you talk. I want you to tell me. Tell me everything, tell me how you feel and why. Tell me what happened. Tell me everything that is on your mind. I want to help. If you’ve got through this all these years, you can keep going. If you don’t want to date me, that’s okay, it’s fine. But let me be your friend, I want to be there for you. You won’t crumble, Liam.”

“Why?” there were tears pooling in Liam’s eyes and his voice broke.

Niall shrugged, “why not? Everybody’s got someone. Let me.”

“I do want to date you,” Liam sniffled, “but I’m scared I’ll ruin it. I always screw everything up.”

“Pff, please, you should hear some of the stories about my dates, _that_ was fucking up,” he chuckled, trying to lift the mood.

Liam giggled and Niall smiled before Liam’s face went serious again, “just promise me that- that if you want to get out you’ll tell me, yeah? I don’t want to like- keep you around if you don’t want it and then everything goes all wrong and I end up feeling miserable for not noticing. I’ve been there. I just have so much on my own sometimes it’s hard to realize what the other is going through.”

“I know. You don’t have to worry about that, you’re not getting rid of me any time soon,” Niall beamed.

“Niall, I’m serious” Liam looked at him and talked with almost a pessimistic tone.

“So am I.” Niall kept the smile on his face. “Now, would you mind if you continue this chat over some food?”

“Well, I’m not- fucking wha-“ Liam was interrupted when Loki entered the room running and jumping straight into his lap, “Loki, you’re not a puppy anymore! You can’t do this!” Liam fell backwards on the couch and tried to grab the dog so he won’t fall off him.

Niall laughed at the scene happening in front of him, extending his arms to help Loki get to the floor again without falling. “There we go.”

“As I was saying,” Liam tried to straighten his clothes again and get rid of his dog’s hair on it, “I’m not hungry,” he said with a sigh, “but you can have whatever, I don’t mind.”

Niall looked at him for a second, “okay. I’m not forcing you to eat if you don’t want to but we’re gonna work on that.”

Liam nodded but Niall knew, because of his face, that Liam was thinking there was nothing to help.

 

“So… is it okay if I ask how it started?” Niall sad back on the couch next to Liam with a plate in hand. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”

“No, it’s fine.” Liam run his hands up and down his thighs. “Well, first of all… it’s in the family, I mean, I know it’s not common that it is genetic, but when your dad and your grandma and her father, they all had it… it’s kind of hard to escape it. So I guess it’s partly genetic, you could say. But I also, um… I was also bullied. In high school. A lot. I didn’t have friends and everyone hated me. They said horrible things to me, you know? And they punched me, they embarrassed me. It was…” he took a deep breath, “horrible. I hated school, I had a horrible time.”

“I’m sorry,” Niall commented with a sad smile and moved his hand to Liam’s shoulder to give him a soft squeeze.

“When I was a kid, my dad lost his job, the factory where he worked closed and my mum didn’t work at the time, so my family saw dark times coming. So both of them had gone out to look for jobs, and got ones that exhausted them, they worked an insanely amount of hours and got paid really little, I almost never saw them, but my sisters and I needed to go to school. I have two sisters, by the way,” Liam added, “so we grew up most of my childhood with my granddad. He was the greatest man, always telling us stories and doing his best to raise us at the time. He always blamed himself for what I’ve been through in high school, said he raised me like he did when he had kids and then the times were different and it was a mistake. It wasn’t, who knows what I’ll be if he hadn’t been the one to raise me?” he paused and took yet another deep breath and let it out, a bit shaky. “My dad eventually got a new job that was better, which was opportune ‘cause my granddad was old and ill and he needed treatment. He died… over a year ago. That’s where it all started for me. It’s like my life was collapsing, I mean, he was like my father, he raised me, he taught me most of the things I know and I could do nothing for him,” he let out another shaky breath and Niall’s hand moved to his knee again to reassure him. “And to top that- this happened when I was out of school and I was working back home- I’m from Wolverhampton, by the way, sorry I’m so disorganized,” he chuckled and sniffled.

“That’s alright, we have lots of time,” Niall gave a short nod and smiled.

“So um, I was dating someone at the time and when my grandpa died I just… I just stopped doing everything, I didn’t know how to cope, I was devastated. And they couldn’t… they couldn’t take it, like, they knew about me and still, said it was too much to handle and that they couldn’t keep up with me and just… left. And that just made things worse, you know? I felt so alone and not loved, like no one was there to have my back.”

“I’m so sorry about that, Liam,” Niall squeezed his shoulder again, “you don’t need people like that anyways.”

“To be honest… when you’ve got no one, when all you’re used to is to have no one, you take whatever you can get,” Liam shook his head with a sad smile.

“Don’t say that. I’ve got your back now, how about that?” Niall moved his hand so his arm was actually circling Liam’s shoulders.

“Thank you. It’s like- really overwhelming, you know? You, I mean. You overwhelm me.”

“I do? Why?” Niall asked confused.

“I don’t know, I mean- no one I liked before has actually liked me from the beginning, I mean, I don’t know if you liked me the first day you met me but-“

“I did,” Niall smiled.

“What I’m trying to say is, I like you because I feel comfortable around you, like I don’t have to worry about the fact that maybe I’m not talking too much because you talk a lot so there are not awkward silences. I don’t feel as sad when you’re around, because you’re always onto something, talking about something, and then I don’t have the time to feel sad. I actually feel good around you and I like that fact, that I can feel okay. I don’t want you to think that I just like the feeling I get around you and not you per se, it’s not meant to be egoistic.”

“I know. I’m glad you feel that way about me.”

“It’s just because- you’re so open and welcoming and likeable, like- how could someone not like you?”

Niall snorted, “believe me, a lot of people don’t like me.”

“They are stupid. I like you.”

“Then you can keep me,” Niall shrugged and smiled, looking away from Liam’s face as he felt his cheeks reddening slightly at he had just said.

“Thank you for listening. And being so understanding. I know it’s weird because we’ve only known each other for a couple of months but like- you look like someone I can trust.”

“You can. I won’t disappoint you, I promise,” Niall put his hand over his heart as a sign of honor and Liam chuckled. “I think it enough of deep talking for today, don’t you think?”

“Yeah… yeah, I can drive you home if you want.”

“Who said I was leaving?” Niall laughed, “but it’s okay if you want me to go, I understand if you need some time to yourself after all you’ve told me.”

“No- no, I thought _you_ wanted to go home.”

“Well I mean… I _should_ cause it’s getting late but tomorrow’s Sunday so,” he shrugged. “We should go on a date tomorrow, our first date, how about that?”

“Really?” Liam turned to look at him, “you sure you don’t want some time to think about how to run away?”

Niall rolled his eyes, “I’m not running away!” he exclaimed and suddenly moved to sat on Liam’s lap, his arms wrapping around his neck.

“Uhm…” Liam blinked, looking up at the blonde’s blue eyes.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have…” Niall looked down, suddenly embarrassed about their position but he didn’t even think about it, really, but when he went to move so he could slip off of Liam’s lap, the brunette’s arms wrapped around him, keeping him in place. “I- um…” he looked down at the brown eyes that were looking up at him and they were so close, so, so close he could just lean forward a little bit and they’ll be kissing.

So he did, he moved forward just a bit and their noses were almost touching when the sofa sank next to them and Niall felt a wet tongue lick his face.

He closed his eyes for a moment and let out a breath through his nose, “well…” he opened his eyes and smiled at Liam, “not the kind of kiss I was expecting but I guess it’ll have to do.”

Liam chuckled and bit his lip to try and keep his laugh but he couldn’t and suddenly he burst out laughing. Niall was surprised, beyond surprised actually, he had never seen or heard Liam laugh that way and he watched him fondly as Liam’s face rested against his shoulder and laughed.

Niall looked at Loki still sitting on the sofa next to them as his tail waived from side to side and looked happy at him and even barked once.

“Yes, yes, I like you too, Loki,” he patted his head, “but I wanted to kiss him!” he laughed.

Liam came down from his attack of laughter moments later and took a large breath, “sorry,” he said, still with a chuckle.

“I’ve never seen you laugh like this, it was wonderful,” Niall smiled and let his head rest on top of Liam’s, given that he was still sitting on his lap and his arms were still around his neck. Liam said nothing, just blushed but hopefully Niall couldn’t see it.

“I have to take Loki for a walk, I think he’s going crazy in here,” Liam commented, “you can come with me and then I’ll drive you home, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay.” Niall slipped from Liam’s embrace around his waist and stood up. “We’re going for a walk, did you hear that, Loki?” he asked the dog who barked happily at him. He didn’t notice the fond look Liam was giving him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *runs back to books because of a final tomorrow* wish me luck!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! I hope this is not too bad, you can take it as a christmas present... or not, it'd be a shitty present, forget about that, haha. it's kind of an early update today but I wouldn't want to leave you hanging cause it's been a week since I put up the last chapter.  
> I wish you all a merry christmas! (: x

Niall insisted on Liam coming over the next day, because he’s been to Liam’s already, then he had to go to his, but Liam said that he’d make fajitas for him if he come over again and Niall couldn’t say no to that, how could he? So that’s how he found himself ringing Liam’s bell on Sunday.

“Hi-“

“Hi, I brought ice cream, you better put it in the freezer before it melts,” Niall stepped into the brunette’s flat.

“Uh- okay,” Liam was confused as he closed the door after Niall was in. “Isn’t it cold to eat ice cream?” he asked as he took the pot Niall handed him and walked into the kitchen.

“It’s not cold here and I wanted to bring dessert but I don’t have any imagination, okay? Don’t judge me, Liam.”

“I’m not judging you, I love ice cream.”

“Who doesn’t? I mean- duh.” Niall rolled his eyes and Liam chuckled and shrugged.

“Food’s done already if you’re ready.”

“Always ready for food, you know that,” Niall laughed and followed Liam into the kitchen. “Need me to help you with something?”

“The table’s ready so no, it’s fine,” Liam shook his head.

Niall sat in one of the chairs, Liam’s kitchen wasn’t the biggest but it was comfortable enough not to be crowded. So he waited, just for a moment though, until Liam was back and placed a tray on the center of the table.

“There. There are chicken ones and meat ones, didn’t know which ones you’d like so uh- I made both,” he explained as he sat down.

“Whatever is fine by me, you know that already,” Niall commented as he extended his arm in order to reach for the food but retracted his hand, “I don’t know where to start,” he pouted.

“You can try both so it’s the same, I guess,” he shrugged. Niall nodded and grabbed one and put it on his plate, “don’t be too hard on me, alright?”

Niall put his finger over his lips in a ‘shh’ sign and bite his food, immediately making a mess and Liam shook his head with a chuckle, “ah, I’m a mess sometimes, did I ever tell you?” Niall covered his mouth with his hand as he spoke and chew all at the same time.

“No but I can see now,” Liam smiled fondly, “here” he handed him a napkin.

“Cheers, Li,” he cleaned his hands and the corners of his mouth, “and this is absolutely amazing, gonna have to cook this for me more often,” he told Liam which earned him a smile.

 

The thing was, other than their lunch, they haven’t planned anything else to do later, so Niall suggested they should just watch a movie and eat ice cream.  So Niall was flicking through the channels (even though Liam had a DVD player and movies) in search of something to watch as Liam entered the living room with ice cream and spoons.

“Can’t believe Requiem is on, this movie made me cry,” Niall said, watching the scene on the screen.

“I don’t think I ever watched it,” Liam commented as he took a seat next to Niall.

“Really? Is like, a really known movie. Doesn’t make it any less sad though.”

“No, I mean- I know about the movie, I just never watched it. My mum wouldn’t let me, said it was too sad for me to watch.”

“But wha- oh!” Niall exclaimed suddenly, grabbing the remote and changing the channel immediately, “didn’t think about it, God, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. I wouldn’t know if she was right,” he shrugged and handed Niall a spoon.

“You know what?” Niall turned the TV off, “I think we still owe us some kind of introductory chat, we skipped that yesterday,” he took some ice cream in his mouth, “we still have that ‘get to know each other’ part pending, don’t you think?”

“Yeah… we do,” Liam nodded, “I’m sorry we skipped that, like I said yesterday, just wanted to give you a heads up-“

“Liam. I know. Let’s leave that behind now,” he put his hand out for Liam to shake, “I’m Niall.”

Liam laughed shortly and shook his hand, “you’re being silly.”

“I’m hurt!” Niall took his hand away and put it over his hand with an exaggerated hurt face, “you just met me!” he exclaimed indignantly, and Liam laughed but was looking at him fondly. The only thing he wanted was to make him laugh, and this way, a way his laugh reached his eyes, making them crinkle. It was beautiful. He wanted to make him feel happy, at least for a little while.

“I’m sorry, my bad,” Liam shook his head. “Oh, hey Loki,” Liam talked to his dog that just entered the living room, “come here,” he patted the space between him and Niall. They were both sitting crossed legged in the couch, a space between them. “Do you mind if he sits here with us?”

“Not all. Come join us Loki, come on!” he patted the sofa too and the dog made his way to them, jumping on the sofa and immediately sniffing the cup Liam had his ice cream in.

“No, this is not for dogs, Loki, you can’t have it,” he retracted his hands away but the dog stood up on the sofa and moving forward so his two front legs were on Liam’s crossed legs, trying to reach for the cup, “no! Loki, move!” he laughed.

“Loki! Loki, come here, boy, come on!” Niall started to talk to the dog and petting his back in hopes that he’ll turn away. And he did, just to go for his own cup. “No!” he laughed, “I think we’ll have to get him down.”

Liam stood up and moved away from the couch, getting a plastic bone, “Loki, look what I have here!” he called his dog and Loki barked, getting off the couch and running towards Liam. He threw it down the hall that lead to the bedroom and the dog followed it happily. “Our ice cream is safe,” Liam walked to the sofa and sat down again.

“He’s gonna be back soon though,” Niall talked over a mouthful of ice cream.

“He’ll play with that for a while,” Liam shrugged.

“So! I start today, yeah? You did your fair amount of talking already yesterday.” Niall made himself comfortable and Liam nodded.

So for the next… one? Two? Three hours? Who knows how long they were sat there talking, they talked about each other, about their childhood and lives and tastes in music and a lot of stuff. Niall had told him about his family, how he missed his parents and his brother and his nephew but that he loved London too much to leave, now that he had a life there, friends, a job, university and all. Liam listened to him attentively and laughed when Niall told him about some adventure that ended in disaster when he was a child. He told him about all his friends from back home and that he still talked to them over sky- p and how he missed them. And Niall had noticed, of course, when Liam smiled sadly at those comments and looked away, so he asked why.

“Just- just comparing, you know? You’ve got all your friends back home and your family and they all miss you and you miss them and you talk to them regularly and I just… I’ve got no one to talk to except for Harry at work and my parents and they just worry about me all the time and sometimes it feels like they call out of guilt, you know? Like, ‘oh we need to call Liam to make sure he didn’t kill himself’ or something-“

“How can you say that?” Niall said suddenly feeling indignant, “how can you say that about your parents? I mean, sure, I don’t know them but I’m sure they love you and no parent ever would think that way about their child, if they call you is because they want to know you’re fine, they worry about your well being.”

“You say that cause you don’t know what it is like! They call and their first question is always ‘are you okay?’, ‘how are you feeling?’, ‘are you sure you don’t want to go to the doctor?’ like how the fuck am I supposed to feel?” Liam’s voice was getting louder and Niall felt a little taken aback but didn’t say anything, he promised Liam that he’d be there for him whenever he felt like he needed to talk so that’s what he did, kept silent and listened, “never a question about how was work or how was my day or just a normal, _nice_ chat! No! It’s always about this fucking depression and it makes me so mad! It makes me sad that _I_ make them sad!” Liam was almost yelling, this shoulders scrunched up and heaving.

Niall remained silent for a while until Liam calmed down then moved closer to Liam and wrapped his arms around him. He felt the older boy tense for a moment before he relaxed and his arms wrapped around Niall too in a tight embrace. Niall heard him sniffle into his shoulder but didn’t let go until Liam did first sometime later.

“I just completely ruined this and I am so sorry,” Liam sniffled again, his eyes were a bit watery but he was trying to keep it cool.

“You didn’t ruin anything. This is part of you and this is part of what I agreed to. I said I’d listen to you, said I’d be there for you. And I am.”

“You’re so nice to me…”

“Because you deserve nice, you are nice, so you get nice in return. You deserve nothing than getting better. Liam, it can only get better, you know that, right?” he asked him and Liam shook his head no. “Well, I’m telling you, you can feel sad, you can be angry, you can yell at me, I don’t care, letting things out always help, don’t let yourself become your own biggest obstacle. It’ll get better.”

Liam’s elbows were on his legs and he was resting his face in his hands so he wouldn’t be looking at Niall and the blonde knew that Liam was thinking that no, it wouldn’t get better but he’ll show him. He was going to show him. Never had he ever felt like he needed to prove something to someone with such need as he did right now. He liked Liam so much for such an inexplicable reason he just couldn’t find it in himself to get away even though he knew this was going to be anything but easy. But he found Liam for a reason and he was willing to find out.

The thing now was, what to do with a sad Liam? Should he just leave so he could have some alone time? Maybe that was the completely opposite of what he needed. Should he just tell a joke? Turn on the TV and let this behind? Maybe he should suggest doing something else…

“Hey,” Niall whispered, moving closer to Liam and putting a hand on his shoulder and Liam lifted his face to look at him, “should we go out? For a while, I mean. Maybe it’ll help you taking your mind off things. Or I’ll just go, if you want me to. But I don’t think you should be alone now,” he smiled shyly.

“I don’t want you to go,” Liam said softly, “but I don’t want you to stay here to deal with my misery either,” he looked down.

“Hey! I’m here to cheer you up too, I mean, this is a date, we’re supposed to be having fun!”

“Yeah… I kind of think I already messed that up though.”

“Then we’ll have a second one, I mean, you still learned things about me and I still learned things about you, making as if this didn’t happen would be stupid.” Niall shrugged, still smiling at Liam.

“I really didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but sometimes it’s like I explode. I’m sorry,” Liam mumbled, not looking up at Niall’s eyes.

“I said it was fine, really. Now, we should put our coats on and go out a bit, we can even take Loki with us, yeah?”

“Yeah- Loki will like that, I’ll go get him,” he nodded and stood up to go and look for Loki.

Niall sighed, taking a moment before standing up himself, taking the pots where the ice cream was and the spoons that were on the small coffee table and taking them to the kitchen. He looked for his coat and scarf, winter was not being very nice lately. Liam walked into the living room again, Loki was all ready with his leash and all and looked super excited.

“Ready?” Niall asked and Loki barked happily at him before Liam could reply which had him chuckling, looking fondly at the dog.

They got out of the flat and into the lift and Loki was jumping everywhere. They didn’t speak for a while, not even when Liam opened the door of the building and they walked out, instantly starting to walk to the left. It wasn’t dark yet, it was not dinner time either, but being winter, it’ll start to get dark soon. Niall didn’t mind but he didn’t want to leave Liam when he wasn’t in a good mood, but he couldn’t just stay and crash at his forever, so he was hoping this walk would help him relax and a bit.

They were walking close one to each other, at a steady pace except for when Loki started to run and they had to fasten. Their shoulders were bumping and their arms brushing and Niall thought about taking Liam’s hand in his but wasn’t sure if that was okay yet. So he went for something he had done before, he first let his knuckles brushed against Liam’s hand, before lacing their pinkies together. Liam had turned his head to look at him with a soft smile, just like he had done at the cinema, and didn’t move his hand away.

The silence stayed for a bit more as they turned around the corner, Loki happily sniffling things and walking down the street until Niall decided to ask, “how did you get him?” he said, nodding in Loki’s direction.

“Got him after my grandpa passed away and um… yeah, you know, that.” Great. Yes, great, exactly what he wanted to talk about. Not. “I was feeling lonely and all so I thought I should get a dog and well, I got him,” Liam shrugged.

“And he’s helped you, right?”

“Yeah,” Liam nodded shortly, “he’s great, always running around and helping me feel better, he’s not that much of a puppy anymore but still behaves like one.”

“He gets pretty excited easily, yeah,” Niall chuckled.

They talked a bit more of random stuff for a few minutes before deciding to head back, which Loki didn’t seem to be so excited about.

Niall had forgotten his phone when they had gone out and had two text messages when he checked once they were back at Liam’s.

 _‘come over for dinner? zayn’s coming too!’_ that was Louis.

 _‘you going to lou’s?’_ and that was, of course, Zayn.

“Everything alright?” Liam asked him as he stared at his phone, thinking about what he should do.

“Huh? Yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine. Just my friends.”

“Oh,” Liam blinked then crouched in front of Loki to unclasp the leash. “You can go if you already had plans for tonight,” he commented as he stood up again.

“No! No, I didn’t have any plans, they are just having dinner, they won’t be bored without me,” he made a disinterested gesture with his hand.

Liam stared at him for a moment, and once again, Niall felt a bit uncomfortable under his stare. What was going on up on Liam’s head?

“You should go,” he finally spoke.

“What- why?”

“You’ve spent most of the day here and yet I managed to ruin it so you probably should leave before I do it again,” Liam shrugged as if it was nothing and the most obvious thing at the same time.

“I don’t feel that way about today. Is that how you feel?” Probably, yes. But it was important to Niall that Liam would talk to him, even about the most random things, if he wanted to help then he needed to know how he felt.

“It’s the truth,” Liam shrugged again. “Listen, we don’t have to- let’s not talk about this right now, yeah?” Liam paused, “you should go, have dinner with your friends, have a laugh, don’t want you to just leave them for me.”

“I’m not gonna _leave_ them, Liam, it’s just one time.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said…” Liam mumbled, looking away from Niall and walking past him.

“Okay,” Niall sighed and turned to Liam, “I’m gonna go cause you want me to but don’t think I wanted to leave, yeah?”

“I don’t- okay. Okay, whatever.” Uh-oh. Things weren’t going so smooth anymore. Maybe he should go and leave Liam to wrap his head around things.

“I think you’ve got stuff to think about,” Niall walked towards Liam, “let me know when you’re free and we’ll go on another date, okay?” he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Liam’s cheek, “I’ll see you soon, Li” and then he turned around, opening the door and walking out of the flat, leaving Liam standing there in the middle of his living room.

*

“You don’t look very happy,” Louis commented as he chew on his pizza.

“What?” Niall shook his head to get out of his thoughts.

“I said, you don’t look very happy, mate,” Louis repeated, “where have you been, by the way?”

“I um- I was with Liam… you know the gu-“

“The one you met at the store!” Louis exclaimed in realization, “so you finally went on a date? Don’t say I didn’t tell you!”

“Something’s wrong though,” Zayn commented with a frown, “then why are you looking so thoughtful and down?”

“Wasn’t he what you expected? The date didn’t go well?” Louis started asking.

“No, I mean- it didn’t go very well but I knew there was a chance and I still did it so it’s fine,” he shrugged. He didn’t really want to talk about this with them. Or maybe he did but he was afraid they wouldn’t understand. Maybe it’d be good for him to talk about this with someone, get some opinions. He didn’t think Louis or Zayn could give him actual advice given that they hadn’t been through something like it, at least not that he knew of.

“Why’d you say there was a chance?” Louis asked and take a sip from his glass.

“Because, um- well…” Niall scratched the back of his neck, he didn’t know if it’d be okay to talk about something Liam had told _him_ to others, he even said he never talked about it…

“I told you before I thought something was off with him, is it something related to that?” Zayn asked and he nodded.

“Did he just got out of a relationship or something maybe?” this time Louis spoke and Niall shook his head. That would’ve been way easier than this.

“No, uh- he’s got this thing like…” he started, his voice sounding soft already, “he’s got depression.”

No one said anything for a long moment. Niall didn’t know what to expect from his friends like, they didn’t even have to say anything but whatever would be better than this strange silence.

“Oh” was the only thing Louis managed to say.

“Well, that explains a lot of things then” Zayn gave a nod.

“Yeah…”

“What happened then?” Louis asked, sounding curious but actually interested in what Niall had to say, not using that teasing tone of voice anymore.

“Well… he’s got this thing that he thinks he’s always ruining everything, that he _will_ ruin everything, you know? Like, today was our first date. We’ve seen each other before but this one was supposed to be “official”, I guess,” he made air quotes with his fingers, “and he told me yesterday ‘cause he wanted to give me “a heads up” so I could “get out before something happened”, and I don’t know, it was sad.”

Louis didn’t say anything and Zayn tilted his head a bit with a small ‘hm’ sound in understanding, “he feels helpless about it. Like there is no way he can be in a relationship.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s the word. But I mean- that’s normal in people who suffer from depression, right?”

“I think, I wouldn’t know for sure.”

“Maybe you should do like, a bit of research,” Louis threw in, not really convinced but it sounded like a good idea actually.

“I should. That’s a good idea, Lou, thanks,” he smiled softly and Louis beamed in return.

“I think you should, like- first you need to think about yourself too, if you can and if you want to deal with this. Maybe that’d be a good start too,” Zayn spoke.

“I do. I told him that already,” Niall sighed, “but he doesn’t believe me.”

“Well, it’s always been said that actions speak louder than words, right? Maybe it’s a matter of showing him, instead of just telling him,” Zayn said again and Niall nodded, “I don’t know which state of the relationship you’re in, but- simple things, you know? Text him, call him, hug him, hold his hands if you do that already, ask him about his day, just- I guess treat him like any other person, I don’t think he wants to be treated differently because of it.”

“No,” the blonde shook his head, “he was complaining about that actually.”

“Ask him what can you do to support him, you know? To cheer him up.”

“It’s not gonna be easy,” Louis talked and Niall turned to look at him, “I once met this girl, I worked with her and she was depressed too, she had like, mood swings, you know? And most of the time she didn’t want to do anything, it’s like she lacked of motivation. It was a shame ‘cause she was nice, she just… seemed sad all the time,” he finished with a sad smile.

“Yeah, well… that’s Liam too,” Niall commented and turned to look at Zayn, “you know him.”

“Yeah, he’s got this face, I don’t know…”

“But did you agree to see each other again, right?” Louis asked, not really wanting to ask what was what had gone wrong in their date.

“I told him he had to think about this and that he could call me whenever,” the blonde shrugged, “couldn’t do much more, I guess.”

“You really do like him, yeah? I mean- I’ve never seen you this worried about someone.”

“I do, yeah. He’s like, really nice and I like him a lot and you know I just- I don’t give up on people, I told him. Told him that if he didn’t want to date me then we should at least be friends.”

“That’s nice of you, I hope he realizes you’re not fucking around.”

“Cheers, mate, me too.”

*

Liam didn’t text on Monday.

Nor did he text Niall on Tuesday. He thought about texting Liam first, but stopped himself. He didn’t want to seem clingy or a bother. Niall had just jumped into Liam’s life, told him to count on him, to trust him from one day to another. He knew Liam wasn’t used to that, wasn’t used to having someone to rely on, he could see it on his face when he said that. And even after that, Niall knew that it wasn’t that Liam didn’t trust him, it was that Liam couldn’t trust himself, and that was sad, but something that came with him, something Niall was willing to help him with.

But it was still weird not having at least one text from him. He was actually worried.

He did got a text on Wednesday, a short one.

 _‘can we meet?’_ no smiley like Liam usually used to put at the end on his texts. Niall felt his heart sink, this didn’t look good. The lack of texts for days and now this made his stomach turn into a knot inside his body.

He replied with another short message, asking him where and when they should meet, and Liam replied, five minutes later that he’d pick him up at the store when he left work. Niall sighed, and decided to do something, just to distract himself.

Hours later, he had cleaned the whole store and picked two albums to give to Liam later. Now that he knew him a bit more, he had some more options from where to choose.

 

Niall saw Liam’s car stopping in front of the store through the glass window and smiled. He had missed him, he didn’t realize before until he saw him getting out of his car and walking towards the door but he has missed him.

“Hi,” Liam said softly as he entered and Niall almost ran (and also almost tripped over his own feet) to Liam, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

“Hi, Liam,” he squeezed him between his arm, he didn’t know if that was the way he should have reacted, but it was the way he felt, and maybe it’ll make him feel better. “I missed you.” Niall felt Liam tense in his embrace. That wasn’t good, wasn’t it?

“Niall…” Liam stepped back and used his hands to unwrap the blonde’s arms from around his shoulders, “I think we need to talk…” why did that sound so much like a break up even when they weren’t in an actual relationship?

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” Niall asked, suddenly panicked.

“No, um- can we talk here or should we go somewhere else?”

“We can talk here, let me just-“ Niall walked past Liam, took the keys of the store from his pocket and locked the door, turning the small sign hanging on the glass door from ‘OPEN’ to ‘CLOSED’. “There we go,” Niall told Liam, “we can go to the back room and we can sit there.”

They walked into the back room, it was mostly full of boxes and magazines and albums, there were albums everywhere.

“Sorry it’s not too tidy back here,” Niall smiled apologetically, “we can sit here,” he gestured to a not so big, maroon couch against the right wall of the room. “So what did you want to talk about?” Niall asked once they had both taken a seat, Liam even tried to seat as far away from Niall as possible. “Oh, sorry- do you want some coffee or something? I think we’ve got some left.”

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” Liam shook his head politely, “I um… I’ve been thinking these past few days, after the weekend, you know, and…” God, this couldn’t be good and Niall knew it, Liam had been over thinking it again.

“And…?”

“And I don’t think we should do this… date, I mean. I don’t think it’ll be good.”

Niall felt hurt, he felt like his heart sunk a little inside his body, “wha-“ he cleared his throat so his voice wouldn’t break, “why?”

“I feel like… like this won’t be good for you,” Liam started, looking down from Niall’s face, “you’re like- such a nice person, always so happy and smiley,”

“Liam,” Niall tried to stop him, he didn’t want to know where this was going.

“-and always laughing and you want to do things, and you study and work and have friends and-“

“Liam!” Niall talked louder for him to stop this time, “where are you going with this?” he asked with a cautious face.

“What I’m trying to say is- I don’t think this will work…”

“Why? We haven’t even tried properly yet…” Niall’s voice sound almost as a plead as he moved closer to Liam.

“Because I’m not good for you!” Liam exclaimed, “I don’t want to suck you into this sad excuse of a person I am!”

Liam was fuming, he could see it in his eyes, like he was angry and sad at the same time and his chest was heaving. Niall stared blankly at him, how could Liam say such things about himself? Did he not realize that despite his condition he was a great person?

“Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that again.” Niall told him serious, and he was this close to point a finger at him but stopped himself before he could, he didn’t want to accuse him.

“I’m sorry but it’s the truth-“

“It is not. It’s not and you know it. Don’t ever call yourself a sad excuse for a person. No one is that, let alone you, Liam.” Why was it so hard to understand?

“Why are you so stubborn? I’m gonna ruin your life, Niall!” Liam exclaimed once again, his voice going louder and Niall seemed taken aback for a second before Liam’s face changed drastically into a sad one, “I don’t think I can live with that” he said with a sad tone.

“You’re gonna ruin my life if you don’t give me a chance,” Niall whispered, “if you don’t give this a chance. Why is it so hard for you to understand that I want this? That I want to be there for you.”

“Because no one ever wanted to…” the brunette took a deep breath, “I’m not used to it. I’m just used to make people unhappy” he shrugged sadly.

“You don’t make me unhappy,” Niall frowned, “but listen, if you don’t want to be with me, that’s fine, just… just tell me, okay? Don’t make this about me, Liam…” he said it as softly as he could, he didn’t want Liam to be mad at him or something.

Liam’s eyes went big for a second, “no! No, I do. And because I do, I’m trying to keep you safe.”

“That is not for you to decide, Liam. That’s for me to choose and I made my choice already. You know that,” Niall took Liam’s hand in his.

“Okay,” Liam took another deep breath and let it out slowly, “okay,” he nodded. “But you need to know that this might happen a lot.”

“What?” the blonde frowned confused.

“This… I don’t know how to call them… breakdowns? Episodes?”

“Oh. Oh, I know what you mean,” Niall nodded, “don’t worry, it’s okay. We’ll get through them. But don’t over think about what I might think or say, if you want to know, just ask me. Talk to me, yeah?”

“Okay,” Liam nodded, looking down at their hands in his lap.

“Actually… talk to me whenever. Whenever you feel like talking. Call me or text me or whatever. Don’t let your mind take over everything, that’s no good, yeah? If you need to call me at three in the morning because you can’t sleep, then do it, I don’t mind.”

“I’m not gonna-“

“Sh,” Niall put his finger to Liam’s lips, “just know that you can” he smiled sweetly at the brunette.

When Niall lowered his finger from Liam’s lips, none of them said anything for a long moment. One of Niall’s hands was still on top of Liam’s and they were just sitting there on that couch on a back room of a store, staring at each other. Liam was the first to move, letting go of Niall’s hand and moving to hug him.

“Thank you,” he muttered in his ear as Niall wrapped his arms around Liam’s middle. It was a strange hug, they were in an uncomfortable position but it was a hug nonetheless. One that Liam had started.

When they pulled away, Niall was smiling so big it could break his face. “So, um…” he started, “wanna come to mine? We can have dinner.”

“Sure,” Liam nodded, then paused, “wait. Maybe you can come to mine? Loki’s been alone since I left for work and I don’t like leaving him alone all day,” he pouted.

“You love that dog, don’t you?” Niall laughed shortly, “what if you go get him and then come to mine? I think it’s time for you to see my place, I mean, it’s a pretty shitty place but it’s whatever, I don’t have that much money,” he said a bit embarrassed and Liam smiled at him softly. “You can also get rid of those clothes.”

“Wh- what?” Liam asked, eyes big and confused.

“I mean change into more comfortable clothes!” Niall slapped his shoulder playfully, “you dirty mind!” he laughed.

“I never meant- I mean, I-“ Liam blushed and babbled as he tried to explain himself but Niall just burst out laughing.

“I know,” he said in between giggles as he calmed himself. “We can also get rid of your clothes later,” he leaned in and placed a kiss on Liam’s cheek and stood up, “come on,” he started walking towards the door and left the room, leaving Liam flushed and frozen in his spot.

“Coming?” Liam heard Niall yell at him from the front of the store and he quickly stood up and walked out.

“I can give you a lift before I go home,” Liam said as Niall made sure the store was closed correctly.

“Nope,” Niall shook his head, “I’ll take the bus like I always do and you go change your clothes and get Loki.”

“But-“

“No buts, mister. Text me when you’re coming, yeah?” Niall placed yet another kiss on Liam’s cheek before starting to walk away.

 

Less than an hour later, Niall was already at home and had ordered pizza for both Liam and himself when his phone started ringing, the ID signaling that it was Liam.

“What’s up?” he picked up.

“Already in front of the building, um- I don’t know which floor it’s yours.”

“Oh! How stupid,” Niall laughed, right, he never told Liam which floor his flat was in. “Are you already at the door or are you still in your car?”

“At the door, why?”

“Alright, I’ll open the door for you,” he said, pressing the button on the entry phone, hearing that annoying buzz it made for the door of the building to open.

“Alright, I’m in,” he heard Liam from the other side of the line, then door being closed.

“First floor, the door to the right.”

“Right, see you in a minute,” Liam told him and the line went dead.

Niall felt kind of embarrassed, his building was nothing like Liam’s, actually, the other’s boys building had an actual security doorman. And his flat was… boring. He had a small kitchen and his living room only had a couch, a TV and table to eat because his kitchen was too small to fit one in there. Then a small corridor that led to two doors, one being his bedroom, the other one the bathroom.

Not even a minute later, his bell rang and he opened the door for Liam, only to have his legs attacked by Loki.

“Oh! Hello! Hello, Loki! Nice to see you too, mate,” Niall laughed as the scratched the dog’s head.

“Sorry about that,” Liam smiled, bending a bit to let Loki free from his leash.

“No problem. I ordered pizza, I hope that is okay. I mean, you know I’m shit at cooking.”

Liam chuckled, “I could’ve cooked.”

“You should teach me how to cook,” Niall said, walking to his couch, “but easy meals, don’t wanna burn down the flat” he laughed.

“You can’t be _that_ bad,” Liam rolled his eyes.

“Oh, believe me, I am,” Niall laughed. “Where did Loki go?” he asked, looking around.

“Um, I don’t know, let me check,” Liam stood up, walking to the kitchen first, “not here,” he commented, “maybe in your room or the bathroom?”

“Maybe,” Niall stood up, “let’s check. I always leave the door to my room open so probably.”

They found Loki in Niall’s room, playing with one of his socks, and Liam had told him off, telling Niall he was sorry and that he’d buy him new ones. Niall had rolled his eyes but smiled fondly, telling him that there was no need, the sock was fine. And even if it wasn’t, Niall wouldn’t make Liam buy him a fucking pair of socks. Luckily for them, Liam had brought Loki’s favorite toy, which was that plastic bone, so he threw it somewhere into the room and the dog barked happily, running towards it immediately.

“You have a guitar,” Liam noticed, grabbing the instrument in his hand.

“Yeah, that’s how I write all my projects for uni,” the blonde nodded, “I wish I had room enough for drums or a keyboard at least, that’d be awesome,” he commented, sitting on his bed.

“I have a keyboard,” Liam told him, putting the guitar back in its place, “you can use it if you want.”

“You do? I’ve never seen it.”

“Yeah. It’s in my room, that’s why.”

“Oh,” yeah, he didn’t think of that, Niall has been to Liam’s but he’s never been to his room, “well, I’ll hold you to that ‘cause I might need it sometime.”

“Sure, just let me know and you can use it, I don’t mind,” Liam shrugged, standing awkwardly, putting his hands in his pockets.

“You can sit, you know,” Niall chuckled and Liam walked to the bed, sitting on the edge, “oh come onnnn,” Niall grabbed his arm and pulled him closer, until they were both sitting with their backs against the head of the bed. “We should watch a film, reckon we should?” he turned to look at Liam.

“Sure, whatever you want to do,” Liam shrugged.

“Is there something you’d like to watch?” he asked and Liam shook his head no with another shrug, “we should watch a horror movie!” Niall exclaimed, “or are you scared of them?” he narrowed his eyes at Liam in a teasing way.

“No, we can watch one-“ Liam spoke but was interrupted by the bell ringing.

“Pizza is here!” Niall exclaimed happily, getting up from the bed, “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Liam did nothing while Niall was gone, just sat there and looked around. Niall’s room was just like any other, it had white walls, a small desk, a wardrobe and his bed. It wasn’t very big so it made sense that it wasn’t full of stuff. But it was also very tidy too, which was weird for people their age. But then again, his room was always tidy too, but that was just because it helped him kept his mind occupied and off things that weren’t good for him.

Liam was apparently lost in his own little world because he didn’t even notice Niall was back and with a box in his hand.

“Hello? Earth to Liam?” Niall dropped himself in the bed next to Liam.

“What? Oh,” Liam shook his head to get out of his thought, “I was just thinking that your room is too tidy.”

“I tidied before you came, this place is usually a chaos,” Niall laughed, opening the box. “Uh- should we eat here or do you want to go to living room and eat on the table with like, plates and stuff?”

“Nah, this is fine,” Liam shrugged. “You might want to get some napkins though.”

“True, I’ll be right back. And we should pick a movie and let it load for a bit on my laptop while we eat so we can watch it later.”

Niall left the room to come back a minute later with napkins and two bottles of beer.

“I hope beer is fine.”

“I um…” Liam started, scratching the back of his neck, “I’m not supposed to drink alcohol.”

The blonde’s eyes went bigger for a second but contained himself, “why?”

“Well… when I used to go to therapy, they said it wouldn’t be a good idea to start drinking…”

“I’m not getting you drunk, if that’s what you’re thinking” Niall sat back on the bed.

“No! No. I know,” Liam sighed, “but I used to like, take meds at the time and… they said depression could lead to too much alcohol and-“

“I won’t let you drink more than this, okay? You won’t turn into an alcoholic for one beer, Li.”

“I, uh- yeah, okay. I’m trusting in you though.”

“You can always trust me,” Niall beamed at him, “we should pick a movie, come on.”

They picked a movie, one they never even heard about before and waited for it to start loading as they ate the pizza. Loki has joined them in bed some time later and sat at the end of the bed, seeming tired after all the playing he had done.

Niall actually only let Liam drink just that one bottle of beer, and then he had come back with just glasses of water, excusing himself because he didn’t really drink anything except for water or beer. They finished their pizza while talking about random topics, Liam asked Niall to play anything for him on his guitar and Niall blushed, saying that he might sometime. And then the blonde asked him if he could actually play the keyboard and Liam told him about the piano lessons he had taken as a kid.

“I hope you know the movie is just a lame excuse to get to cuddle you for a bit,” Niall commented cheekily as he turned off the lights of his room and repositioned himself in the bed next to Liam.

“I, uh-“ Liam tripped over his own words but let out a breath and talked again, “you don’t need an excuse for that,” he meant it to be a cheeky comment as well but it had come out more as a soft whisper.

“Should have said that earlier and we would’ve saved ourselves all this fooling around,” Niall laughed, moving closer to Liam and resting his head in his shoulder.

Of course sometime along the movie Liam had wrapped his arm around Niall’s shoulder, making the blonde smile in the darkness of his room. The film was weird, it was actually quite intriguing and scary from moments but then it could go completely crazy and they’d be laughing. It had some good music and effects though, even making Loki jump when there was a loud noise.

Niall had decided almost close to the end of the film (or at least he thought it was close to an end, they had been watching it for an hour and a half) to hold Liam’s hand just because _why not_ , and Liam didn’t say anything, didn’t even look down at Niall, just squeezed his hand a little in his.

Niall was happy, because despite their chat earlier at the store, this date had gone way better than their previous one, so now he could actually prove Liam that maybe they could make it work.

By the time the movie finished, Niall was exhausted, and he didn’t want to throw Liam out but he was going to fall asleep any time now. To be honest, he just wanted to cuddle Liam and fall asleep, he was quite comfy.

“I think I should go, it’s late and you’re falling asleep on me,” Liam chuckled and tried to pull away.

“Noooo,” Niall whined, tightening his grip on Liam.

“I’m serious, Ni, I should go.” Oh, how he loved when Liam called him like that.

“But we’re seeing each other soon, right?” Niall asked, voice already a bit raspy and eyes half lidded.

“Of course, whenever you want,” Liam nodded, this time actually pulling away from Niall and standing up. “Come on, Loki,” he patted his dog’s back and he got off the bed.

Niall sighed, getting up too and walking out of the room with the plates and glasses and the box that they had left on the floor while watching the pizza, and took them to the kitchen.

Liam was putting on his coat in the living room, Loki just sitting right next to him, looking tired and sleepy too, good thing Liam had a car.

“So… I had a nice time today,” Niall smiled softly as he approached Liam, “sorry my apartment is kind of small and boring.”

“Not at all, it’s cozy, I like it.”

“You don’t have to lie,” Niall rolled his eyes but smiled anyways, “yours is a lot comfier.”

“It’s pretty boring there, at least you’re here,” Liam shrugged and looked away. Niall smiled. Was that a bit of flirting he sensed?

“You’re gonna remember what I told you today, right?” Niall changed the topic, he wanted Liam to remember he could rely on him. “If you ever need anything…”

“Yeah… yeah. Thank you a lot. You’re so nice, I don’t deserv-“ Niall stopped him with a finger to his lips.

“Not again,” he gave him a warning look. “Oh! I got these for you,” Niall remembered suddenly the CD’s he had picked for Liam earlier in the afternoon.

“What…?” Liam meant to ask but Niall was moving around this flat.

“Here,” he handed them to Liam, “I thought you’d like them. And that maybe they’ll remind you of me,” he chuckled.

“That’s good. Thank you so much, Niall, really.”

“It’s no problem,” Niall shrugged.

“Alright, um… I should be going then.”

“Alright,” Niall nodded but before Liam could move, he wrapped his arms around his shoulders once again, just like he had done in the afternoon earlier on the day, but this time, Liam wrapped his arms around Niall too.

They stayed like that for maybe longer than a hug should last, but when they pulled away, they didn’t do it completely, instead, Niall kept his hands on Liam’s shoulders and Liam kept his on the blonde’s waist. They stared at each other. Niall was looking for something in Liam’s face that’d give him any clue as to what he was thinking, if it that it was okay to kiss him right then or if it wasn’t. But he didn’t found anything, Liam was looking at him with such warm eyes he just wanted to drawn in them.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Niall muttered under his breath, moving his hands to hold Liam’s face between them as he dived in, closing the space between them.

At first it was static, none of them moved for a couple of seconds and Niall could tell that Liam was surprised, even when he had been sure that he was expecting it. But then he had moved his lips tentatively, and it had been slow and almost shy but perfect, sweet. It was what he had always thought a kiss with Liam would be like.

When they pulled away, they rested their foreheads against each other, their noses touching.

“I, um-“

“Shh,” Niall stopped him, a little smile playing on his lips despite their closed eyes, “you always think too much.”

“I didn’t want to ruin the moment, sorry,” Liam smiled, a small smile on his lips too.

They stayed in that position for a moment longer before Liam let go, “I really should be going.”

“Okay,” Niall nodded, letting go to Liam, “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “let’s go, Lok-“ Liam looked down to see his dog too comfortable sleeping on the floor, he sighed, “I can’t believe this,” he crouched to take the dog in his arms, “this is the last time I’m doing this, you hear me? You’re not a puppy anymore, Loki,” he talked to his dog and Niall laughed softly.

“I’ll go downstairs with you, come on,” Niall said and they both walked to the door.

“Loki, you’re not getting any lighter, stop moving,” Liam told his dog as they were going downstairs and Liam was watching his every step not to roll down the stairs. “Come on, stand up, don’t be lazy,” he put Loki down and he did a sad sound, “no, you’re not buying me with that puppy face, let’s go,” he started walking and Loki followed him.

“Alright,” Niall opened the door of the building, “text me or call me or something when you get home.”

“I will,” Liam nodded, walking to his car, opening the door to the seats on the back and letting Loki in.

“Right, see you, then,” Niall stepped closer and leaned in to kiss Liam’s lips and smile softly when he pulled away and Liam smiled too before getting into his car.

Niall waved him goodbye as he started the engine and he received a bark and a paw against a glass window in return for Loki that made him laugh before he got into the building again.

*

“So this time was better then,” Zayn commented on the phone to Niall. The blonde had called him to ask him something about the store but as always, they ended up talking about whatever, and of course he told his friend about his date with Liam, the one that actually went okay. More than okay.

“Yeah, much better. And I’ve been reading a bit about depression and all, made some research,” he nodded to himself even if Zayn couldn’t see him, “so maybe I’ll be able to understand a bit better, I mean, he explained almost everything to me but I wanted to be… informed.”

“That’s fine, I mean, you seem super into this guy, as long as it doesn’t suck you in…”

“Don’t say those things about him, Zayn, you know how many times we argued about that already? More than you can imagine.”

“Alright, but take care of yourself, yeah? Like- I don’t want you to forget about yourself just so you can help him.”

“I won’t,” the blonde rolled his eyes, “I’m gonna go do some work, talk to you later, Z.”

“Yeah, bye Niall.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back with a new chapter, wooooo!  
> I hope you all have a nice night tonight and I wish you a happy new year and if you're reading this and it's already 2015, then I hope you had a great start!  
> hope you enjoy this (: x

Holidays had gone by and both of them had gone home to their families, and yes, Niall went all the way back to Ireland because he missed home, but of course, they wouldn’t skip any Skype call each night. Niall had gotten Liam one of those Christmas sweaters that he loved so much, and also, it matched with his. And Liam had looked so cute when he tried it on that Niall just had to kiss him until he was giggling. But Liam hadn’t bought anything for Niall and felt bad for it, the blonde could see it in his eyes, like he was disappointed of himself and he was beating himself over it, saying he wasn’t nice to Niall and that he didn’t deserve such a nice boyfriend as Niall.

And there it was. None of them had put any labels to their relationship, they were just dating and that was it, but then Liam said the magic word, “boyfriend”, and Niall felt his heart burst.

“Telling me I’m your boyfriend it’s the best present ever,” Niall had whispered against Liam’s skin as he hugged him so tight Liam might stop breathing any minute.

“But I thought we- I, um-“ Liam was tripping over his words just like he always did when he couldn’t find the words.

“Sh, I’m serious,” Niall looked at Liam in the eyes, “I don’t need any present, don’t need you to buy me anything, you’ve already given me a chance and that’s all I’m thankful for.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Liam hugged the blonde so he was now talking practically talking into his ear, “you keep saying these things to me and being so nice and worrying and I’m doing nothing for you, I promise I’ll be better. Thank you for dealing with me, I don’t know what I’d do without you, Ni.”

“Don’t say that,” Niall squeezed him, now talking into Liam’s ear, “you’re _always_ nice to me and always there for me too, relationships are a two way street, we’re making this work step by step,” he let go of him to look at Liam again, “and I always tell you because you need to be reminded that you’re important to me,” he booped Liam’s nose.

“I’m- thank you, Ni,” he smiled that smile that made his eyes crinkly and made Niall weak to the knees.

“You’re very welcome,” Niall beamed, “we should get our first selfie as official boyfriends, don’t you think?”

“So you can put it up on twitter?” Liam rolled his eyes fondly. He had gotten used to Niall posting pics of them or whatever they were doing on twitter. He even had to start using his again to keep track of whatever the blonde was doing. Also, Niall just mentioned him a lot.

“Of course! My followers would love to see how cute we both look in our matching sweaters, so put that on, come on,” Niall instructed him as he took his phone out.

“How do I look?” Liam asked once he had put his Christmas sweater on and Niall turned to look at him.

“The hottest a boyfriend can look in a cute Christmas sweater,” Niall chuckled and Liam blushed slightly at his comment, “c’mon.”

Niall aimed his phone in a way both of them and his sweater could be seen in the picture. Has he said that he was very good at taking selfies? Because he was. And just when he was about to snap the picture, he turned his head to Liam’s so he was kissing his cheek.

“Heyyyy, why did you do that?” Liam pouted.

“Why wouldn’t I? Can’t I give my _boyfriend_ a kiss?” Niall smiled, already tapping away on his phone.

 _‘@NiallHoran: matching sweaters boyfriends :)’_ he twitted with the picture he had just taken attached.

“I still don’t understand your obsession with twitter, it’s insane,” Liam sighed, sitting on the couch.

“It’s fun, Liam! You’re just a boring grandpa!” he laughed and Liam frowned at him. He sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Liam nodded slightly, “I’m a bit boring though, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not. You’re funny and I like you very, very much” Niall kissed his cheek and Liam smiled.

Niall’s phone vibrated with some mentions from twitter so he opened it to read them, of course they were from his friends. Niall had two types of friends:

_‘@LouisTomlinson: @NiallHoran you two are sickeningly cute. get off my feed’_

_‘@ZaynMalik: @NiallHoran sick aha :) merry christmas bro :) x’_

Niall replied some short answer to his friends before he put his phone away again, sitting probably too close to Liam on the couch, some movie playing on the TV.

*

Now Niall’s been dating Liam for almost two months already and his life has been both a rollercoaster but also amazing since then.

Liam just kept getting better every time he got to know him a little better, a bit more sweet, a bit more caring, also shy but also flirty.

 

Niall could remember the first time he slept over at Liam’s. It wasn’t that much of a deal for him, he didn’t mind having to sleep in the same bed with someone else, he was pretty sure that he had, at least once, shared a bed with Louis or Zayn, why wouldn’t he want to share with Liam?

It hadn’t been planned, actually it had been really nice, Niall always liked improvisations better. Also, Liam had literally fallen asleep on top of him so he didn’t have that much choice anyway.

It was a Friday night and Liam had picked Niall up from the store and they went to Liam’s (somehow they were always at his and not at Niall’s, which was fine, the older boy’s flat was a lot more comfortable that his) for dinner. They had planned on playing some music, Niall with his guitar in Liam’s bed while the other boy played the keyboard and they both ended up having a laugh.

But it didn’t go that way, Liam had had a hard day at work and his mood wasn’t the best. It wasn’t the first time that happened, no, but it still broke Niall’s heart whenever Liam seemed sad or he was mad. That day he just didn’t feel like doing anything, didn’t feel like cooking, eating, walking or anything, he just wanted to stay home and maybe watch some old re run of Friends. It happened a lot, Liam not wanting to go out or do anything, and Niall respected him for that, sometimes he just insisted too much and maybe Liam would give in and they’d go out and have a meal out somewhere or they’d go to the movies. And sometimes he didn’t take it well and he’d just end up yelling at him and then saying he was sorry. And Niall didn’t mind, maybe it’ll make him feel like shit, guilty about trying to make Liam do something he didn’t want to, and he felt bad but not because Liam yelled at him, but because he hated when Liam yelled, because it was not him.

So that night, Niall had made dinner and pleaded Liam that he ate, just a little bit because it wasn’t healthy not to and Liam had given him that one, eating just the smallest bit, mostly playing with the food on his plate. Niall had just glanced at him but said nothing, he knew better than to tell him off, so he let him be.

“Can we just watch Friends?” Liam asked walking back from the bathroom to find Niall sprawled all along the couch.

“Yeah, Friend’s good, Li, come here,” Niall said, stretching his arms and making grabby hands at Liam to approach him.

“Make room for me,” Liam said, standing next to the couch and Niall just moved his legs for Liam to sit between them. The older boy raised an eyebrow.

“Pleeeeease?” Niall whined, “I’m so comfortable!”

Liam sighed, “okay,” he mumbled, careful not to sit on Niall’s leg while he tried to sit in between them. But he just sat there, with his back to Niall’s face, straight and not knowing how to position himself.

“You’re not gonna sit like that all the time, come on,” said, pulling his arm with maybe too much force in a way that Liam abruptly fell on top of him. “Oof,” Niall gasped, “but there we go. Better, yeah?”

“I, um-“ Liam tried to move to sit again but Niall stopped him.

“We’re fine like this, yeah?” Niall asked cautiously, Liam was never one of initiating or knowing what to do with physical contact, and this way, Niall was almost lying down on the couch, his head resting against the armrest and Liam sitting between his legs, lying with his back on Niall’s chest.

“Um, I- if you’re fine, I guess…”

“More than fine,” Niall smiled, “press play, would you?”

So that’s how they spend the next couple of hours, lying on the couch, watching old episodes of Friends and laughing. The DVD always stayed put because Niall knew it always made Liam smile and feel better when he had a bad day.

“This alright?” the blonde asked at some point as he wrapped his arms around Liam’s middle, letting his hands rest on the older boy’s stomach and he tensed for a second.

“I, uh… yeah, yeah, it’s fine” Liam mumbled, letting his body relax again against Niall’s. It was nice, it’s been a while since Liam has done any of this and he couldn’t deny that Niall was some kind of safe place for him.

“Good,” Liam could almost hear the smile in Niall’s voice, “do you want anything?”

“No,” Liam shook his head, “I’m fine.”

They went back to being silent as they watched, it was getting late already and Niall should be going home soon, but truth was, he just didn’t want to go and leave Liam, so instead, he run his hand through Liam’s hair, earning a sigh in appreciation that had him smiling before Liam put his hand over the one hand the blonde still had resting on his stomach. Liam’s body felt like it was completely limb on top of his. He loved that he could do that, make Liam feel relaxed and happy at least for a moment.

He continued his treatment, running his hand slowly through Liam’s hair and it was amazing that no part of his body had gone numb so far. But that was until his bladder told him otherwise. He really needed the bathroom right now. He went to stand up then, but realized that Liam had fallen asleep on top of him. Now that he paid attention to it, he could hear the soft breaths escaping his lips and the way his chest was moving up and down evenly. He stayed still for a second, considering if he could just hold it in or if he needed to wake Liam up.

Unfortunately for him, he’d have to wake Liam up or he’ll either wet his pants, not too grown up or glamorous, right? So he placed one of his hands on Liam’s arm and ran it up and down,

“Liam,” he said softly, he didn’t want to scare him either, “Liiiii, wake up” he murmured and Liam made a ‘hm’ sound before he moved.

“What…?” Niall saw Liam turn to look at him, “oh God, I’m sorry,” Liam ran his hand down his face but made no move to sit up.

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” the blonde smiled sweetly at him, “but I really need the bathroom right now, so…”

“Oh. Sorry,” Liam’s voice was sleepy and deep as he moved and Niall almost jumped from the couch, walking to the bathroom.

Once he was back, he found Liam in the same position he was when he left, sitting on the couch with his elbows on his knees, one of his hands supporting his face as he rubbed his eyes with his other hand and yawned. It wasn’t strange for Niall to think that Liam was cute, he was in a lot of senses, but right now he just looked extra cute, like he just wanted to cuddle in bed and sleep.

“There you are,” Liam sat a bit more straight, “sorry I fell asleep on top of you,” he offered an apologetic smile. “I’ll drive you home if you want.”

Niall blinked and didn’t speak for a second, thinking about what he wanted to do, “oh, um… I was thinking that maybe I could… stay? I mean, it’s late and you’re tired… but if you don’t want me to I can just call a taxi…?”

Liam stared at him with sleepy eyes for a moment before speaking, “no, I- you can stay,” he nodded, “you can take the bed and I’ll sleep here.”

Niall had to suppress the need he felt to roll his eyes at that, was that really necessary? “I was thinking that we could share though, I mean…” he started softly and shrugged, “but if you don’t want to then it’s okay, I’ll sleep here.”

“I, uh-“ Liam blinked and paused, “okay,” he nodded slowly before getting up, walking past Niall with a nod with his head in his bedroom’s direction.

“Can you lend me some clothes? Sleeping with jeans on is the worst thing ever,” Niall asked with a pout when they entered the bedroom.

“Yeah, let me see what I’ve got,” Liam nodded and opened the door to his wardrobe.

“I’ll go turn the lights of and all that meanwhile,” Niall commented, walking out of the room and into the living room again, turning off the TV, then the lights and making sure the door was locked. There were plates in to wash in the kitchen but those could wait until the next morning.

“All the shirts I’ve got are going to be too big on you, so I don’t know what to give you,” Liam told him when he reentered the bedroom.

“Whatever is fine, Li, if it’s very big then that’s better, those are the comfier.”

“Well, I’ve got this really big shirt that I don’t know where it came from but-“

“Give me that one then,” Niall interrupted him.

“Oh, um- okay,” Liam nodded before turning to his wardrobe again, grabbing some shirt and handing it to Niall. “It’ll probably look like a dress on you,” he chuckled.

“Great,” Niall smiled, taking the shirt and putting it on the bed before pulling from the shirt he was wearing and taking it off. He threw Liam a smile, not caring that Liam was staring at him before he put the other shirt on. It did indeed look like a dress. It also smelled like fresh cotton and Liam.

“I’ll uh- give you a pair of shorts now, wait-“

“Shorts? Who even wears something else to bed but boxers?” Niall gave him a weird look.

“Uh- I do,” Liam commented while searching through his clothes, “I don’t wear a shirt to bed though, _that_ is uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Whatever,” Niall rolled his eyes and Liam chuckled, taking a piece of clothing with him to the bathroom. “I think I have a spare toothbrush too.”

“Great, or I wouldn’t be able to kiss you good morning tomorrow,” Niall beamed and followed Liam into the bathroom but first, he unbuttoned his jeans and took them off. Ah, freedom. The shirt Liam lent him covered half of his thighs anyways.

Liam was apparently so tired that he even sat on the toilet seat while brushing his teeth and even made a huff sound when he had to stand up, making Niall chuckle and spit a bit of foam.

Liam walked into the bedroom again, face falling to the bed and Niall chuckled behind him, “you didn’t even change clothes yet, Li.”

“Tired,” Liam mumbled, pressing his face harder into the blanket with a sigh and Niall rolled his eyes and shook his head fondly, walking over to the bed and sitting.

“Come on, if you don’t get changed, we can’t go to sleep,” he said, pulling Liam’s to roll him over.

“Alright,” Liam let out a long sigh, then sat on the bed and started to unbutton his shirt. “Fucking buttons-“ he complained when a piece of thread got stuck around a button and he couldn’t undo it properly, making Niall chuckle.

“Let me,” Niall moved the brunette’s hands away to deal with the thread and undo it, taking it from there to finish unbuttoning the few buttons left. “All done,” Niall looked up and smile at Liam.

“Thanks,” Liam mumbled and smiled back.

They stayed frozen, looking into each other’s eyes for a moment, Niall was sitting next to Liam on the edge on the bed but with his body turned to his, a stupid, happy smile on his lips as Liam looked at him in a way that made him feel all warm inside. So Niall leaned forward, touching Liam’s cheek with his hand and pressed his lips to Liam’s. The brunette did the same, his hand making his way to Niall’s cheek, kissing him back. But they pulled away shortly after, short but sweet.

“Come on, get rid of those clothes, I want to sleep,” Niall smiled again, this time standing up and walking to the side of the bed to get under the covers while Liam changed into his shorts for bed.

“Hmm,” Liam hummed in delight when his back hit the mattress and he covered himself with the blanket, getting comfortable under it.

“Happy now?” Niall asked, turning to the side, already feeling tired and ready to give himself to sleep.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I hope I don’t wake up in like, two hours” he sighed.

“You won’t,” Niall frowned.

“I usually do, it’s okay,” Liam shrugged and looked at Niall.

“I won’t let you.”

Liam chuckled at Niall, “you can’t control my sleep, silly.”

“Yes, I can, you’ll see,” Niall stuck his tongue out to Liam, “turn around.”

“What- why?”

“Just turn aroundddd!” Niall whined as if he was a child.

“Okay, okay, I’m turning around,” Liam laughed, turning so he was now with his back to Niall. “What now?”

“This,” Niall moved closer so his chest was now against Liam’s back and he wrapped his arm around him, squeezing him and burying his face in the back of his neck.

“Why are you the big spoon though?” Liam took the blonde’s hand that was resting on his chest in his and Niall could almost see him pouting even though he couldn’t see his face.

“Because I can,” Niall said triumphantly, “go to sleep, Li.”

“But-“

“Go to sleep, Li.”

“Okay,” Liam mumbled, “bossy” he said under his breath and Niall chuckled, his breath hitting the back of Liam’s neck.

Even thought Liam was really tired, he couldn’t fall asleep instantly, but he could appreciate the heat Niall’s body was radiating and how comfortable this was even though they had never done it before. And also, how easy it was.

“Niall?” Liam whispered after a while into the darkness of the room, pretty sure that the blonde was already asleep. Not quite, but almost.

“Hm?” was the only sound coming from the other boy.

“Thank you for staying with me,” his voice was barely a whisper; he wasn’t sure if he was referring to that moment or for always staying, “I really appreciate it. It makes me happy when you’re here.”

Maybe Liam was crazy, but he thought he could feel a smile on Niall’s lips against his skin. “Of course, Li,” he placed a lazy kiss between his shoulders, “I love you.”

And maybe Liam would’ve freaked out after hearing that in any other situation, but the fact was, that it made his heart race for a second and he felt warm and happy all over. Even after months of having been dating, none of them had said those words so far, but because they thought they weren’t meant to be thrown around to anyone. Not that Niall was just anyone.

“Yeah, I- I love you too” what else was there to answer anyway?

 

The next morning, Niall woke up to barks a little too near to his ear. He felt confused, he didn’t have a dog, so why the hell- _oh._ He remembered that he had stayed at Liam’s when he felt the weight of Liam’s head resting on his shoulder, he was lying on his back and Liam right next to him with his arm loosely over his middle and his head on his shoulder. He opened his eyes slowly to confirm it when he saw there was a mop of brown hair right up his nose.

There was another bark, and he turned his head to the side, to see Loki next to the bed, looking at him as if he was angry and barking again and again. “Shh, we’re trying to sleep, Loki,” he closed his eyes again and, putting his hand over the arm Liam had over his body and he got another bark in return. He sighed.

“You’re on his side of the bed,” a maybe too deep voice spoke and he almost jumped from the bed if Liam hadn’t been half lying on top of him.

“God, you scared me,” Niall said with a groggy voice.

“Didn’t mean to, sorry,” Liam let out a sleepy chuckle and Loki barked at them again.

“When is he going to stop that?” Niall half whined, half sighed.

“Tell him to come up,” Liam answered, moving a bit, repositioning himself but this time with his head on the pillow.

“Nooooo, I was comfortable!” Niall turned to look at him with half lidded eyes and a pout.

“Come closer so Loki has some space,” Liam explained and Niall moved, feeling his body too heavy but did it anyway, patting the space on the bed now next to him for Loki.

“Your dog is spoiled,” Niall complained as Liam went back to his previous position, the blonde now wrapping his arm around him and feeling the space next to him sank as Loki settled in.

“He was kind of all I had for a while…” it came so soft that maybe Niall wasn’t even meant to hear it, but he did, and he squeezed Liam with his arm, figuring that maybe that’d be more comforting that anything he could have said at the moment in his sleepy state. “What time is it?” Liam asked then, lifting his head from Niall’s shoulder to look at the clock on his nightstand.

“Too early,” Niall commented, closing his eyes again.

“Not really, it’s nine thirty already.”

“Nine thi- too early!” Niall exclaimed, pulling Liam down again, “let’s go back to sleep.”

“But it’s-“

“Too early and we need to sleep some more,” the blonde cut him, “I’m not taking a ‘no’ for an answer.”

“But I should-“

“Sleep some more.”

“No, I really need to-“

“Sleep.” Niall kept cutting him off and answering, not even bothering to open his eyes.

“Niall,” Liam’s voice was now serious despite the groggy tone.

The blonde sighed, opening his eyes and lifting his body to rest on his elbows, “what?” he asked, “don’t tell me you have to be doing anything because it’s nine thirty and it’s the weekend. Is it too much to ask for to have my boyfriend sleep in for one day?”

Liam stared at him for a moment, seeming as if he was thinking what to say and then sighed, “okay,” he nodded and slipped back down on the bed.

“Good,” Niall smiled and lie down again, “turn around?”

“Noooo, I want to sleep on this side,” Liam whined, closing his eyes.

“Ugh, okay,” Niall decided to turn around then, “you can be the big spoon this time,” he added and Liam chuckled, his arm making its way around Niall’s waist.

*

“What are you doing?” Liam chuckled as Niall was half throwing himself on top of him in the weirdest position, arm extended and phone in hand. They had decided to go out for some sort of picnic, well, Niall had, because the day was beautiful outside, so Liam had driven them to a nice park that was a bit far from his house but it was nice nevertheless. And also, Niall had taken the time to buy the food and all already, so…

“Trying to take a good picture to put up!”

“A picture of you half throwing yourself at me?” Liam half laughed.

“Well,” Niall sat back straight again, “originally I just wanted a picture of you but then I remembered you don’t like it when I put pictures of just you on twitter,” he shrugged.

“And what kind of picture were you trying to take right now?”

“A pic of me trying to steal your food and you looking at me weird,” Niall beamed.

“What kind of picture is that?” Liam looked at him weirdly, “can’t we just take a normal picture?”

“Oh, I know!” Niall exclaimed, “let’s take a picture with you feeding me!”

“What- why are you so weird?” Liam laughed again.

“I’m not weird!” Niall pouted, “okay, let’s take a normal, boring selfie,” he spoke and sat closer to Liam, stretching his arm, the camera already opened in his phone. He did a couple of funny faces until he settled for a smile and so did Liam. “Alright? I’ll count to three, okay? One… two… three! _Ow!_ ” he exclaimed as he took the picture. Liam had bitten his cheek! “The fuck was that for?” he asked with a frown and rubbing his cheek.

“I- I thought it’d be funny…” Liam looked down and Niall sighed.

“It’s fine, Li, it just took me by surprise, it didn’t even hurt that much.”

“You sure? I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t,” Niall rolled his eyes, “let’s take a look at the picture,” he unlocked the screen and the picture showed and Niall stared at it for a moment and blinked.

“So…?” Liam looked at Niall with a questioning  and nervous expression and the blonde suddenly burst out laughing. “What?” he asked, stretching his neck to look at the screen.

“This is- this- this is the best-“ the blonde spoke in between laughing, “picture we’ve ever taken,” he kept laughing, “oh my God.”

“Let me see,” Liam took the blonde’s phone in his hand and instantly started laughing too.

“Best picture ever,” Niall commented, now calming from his laughter.

“Glad it turned out this good,” Liam said, still laughing.

The picture wasn’t even that great, but it was funny, it had captured the moment just when Niall’s face change from smiling and it ended up looking all scrunched up and funny while Liam was biting his cheek.

“You’re still gonna put it up?”

“Of course! People need to see this masterpiece that my face is.”

“Your face is actually a masterpiece,” Liam smiled, looking fondly at Niall.

“Shut up,” Niall mumbled, trying to suppress a smile and blushing.

“What? It’s true!” Liam laughed, leaning over to kiss his cheek where it was still a bit red from the bite.

Niall turned to look at him and smiled, “thank you,” he whispered. He lived for moments like that one, Liam laughing and looking and _being_ all happy and crinkly eyed and complimenting him. It made him feel special.

“I think you should thank your parents for your face, not me,” Liam chuckle and Niall rolled his eyes, of course he was going to say something like that.

“I mean, thank you for the compliment.”

“Oh. Well, like I said, it’s the truth-“ he spoke but Niall decided that he had said too much already, so he leaned in, closing the space between them to kiss him, making Liam sigh against his lips.

“That’s more like it, you talk too much,” Niall smiled and went back to his phone.

“Really?” Liam asked, caressing the blonde’s cheek with his nose softly.

“Mhm,” Niall hummed, slowly turning his face to Liam as he finished tapping on his phone, placing it in his lap when he was done and fully turning to his boyfriend, taking his face in his hand and kissing him properly.

 _‘@NiallHoran: took Liam to a picnic, he thought I was food! D:’_ he tweeted with their picture attached.

_‘@LouisTomlinson: @NiallHoran I hate you both.’_

*

Niall remembers meeting Liam’s parents too. It hadn’t been planned, it had been just a coincidence, but he had still felt nervous about it.

He had been at Liam’s (when was he not?) and it was Friday after work, they had planned to order pizza and cuddle on the couch, because Niall was a big cuddling fan (and Liam too, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud) and staying in. Originally, he wanted to go out for a beer and maybe take a walk or something with Liam because it wasn’t cold outside anymore but it was rare that the brunette said yes. Of course they had done it sometime before, Niall would still take care of Liam and the amount of alcohol he drank even though he knew Liam wouldn’t drink that much but Liam wasn’t sure of himself, and like the good boyfriend he was, he’d make sure he was fine.

But this time Liam didn’t say yes, and even when Niall begged him, Liam still said no, he even said he could go out with his friends, that he didn’t need to stay with him! What kind of crazy thing was that? Not spending the night with Liam? That was mad! And at first he thought that maybe Liam wasn’t in a good mood, that maybe he didn’t want to go out and didn’t want Niall around, but then he realized that it wasn’t the case. Because maybe they hadn’t been together for _that_ long, but he knew the signs, knew how to realize when Liam was doing okay and when he wasn’t, and this time, he seemed just fine, so he decided he could give him that and they could stay. Liam even said they could get pizza and cuddle, and then Niall didn’t have to think it twice.

“You order the pizza and I’ll look for blankets in your room, yeah?”

“What do we need blankets for?”

“Cuddling, of course! It’s more comfortable and also nice, Liam, duh,” Niall rolled his eyes and Liam chuckled.

“Fine, what kind of pizza do you want?”

“Whatever you want is fine by me,” Niall shrugged, walking towards the room.

He could hear Liam ordering from where he was, going through Liam closet and looking for a blanket. Also, why did Liam had so many blankets? What did he need them for? It gave him more of a choice though, it wasn’t that cold for that big ass blanket they liked to use during winter, so he settled for a navy blue one that seemed good enough for now.

He was putting everything in place again because he knew Liam hated it when he left everything out of place when he heard the bell ring. It surely wasn’t the pizza, Liam just ordered it two minutes ago, so he finished quickly, grabbing the blue blanket and walking out of the room, already hearing voices he didn’t quite recognize.

“Hey Li, who was… that- um… hi…” Niall stopped in his tracks the he reached the living room, blanket still pressed to his chest and he blinked. Liam turned around to look at him with an apologetic expression in his eyes that he supposed it meant that he didn’t know this was going to happen.

“Hello, you must be Niall, right?” a woman with the exact same accent as Liam asked, approaching him with a sweet smile.

“Uh- yeah. Yes, I am Niall,” he nodded, smiling back at the woman.

“Oh, it’s so nice to meet you!” she exclaimed and went to hugged him. He felt paralyzed, and he couldn’t even hug back because he was still holding that stupid blanket. He looked at Liam with a _‘I don’t know what to do!’_ expression and he noticed the older boy looking at him with wide eyes and an amused expression.

“I’m Liam’s mother, in case you haven’t figured it out yet,” she explained when she let go.

“Yes. Yes, of course,” he laughed shortly, “and I’ve seen some pictures too.”

“Oh, that’s good. I’m Karen,” she nodded, still smiling, “and this is my husband, Geoff,” he introduced him to Liam’s father that stayed next to Liam with a similar expression than the woman’s.

He walked closer and shook the hand the man was offering him and got a smile too. Liam’s parents seem pretty chill and nice. To him at least.

“What were you up to, boys?” her mother asked excited. “We aren’t interrupting any plans, right? We were here in London and decided that maybe we should visit you, Liam.”

“That’s okay,” he shrugged, “we were going to watch a movie and have pizza. Did you have dinner already? If not I’ll call and ask for another one” seems like cooking wasn’t in Liam’s plans for tonight, not even when his parents were home.

“Oh, don’t you cook anymore?”

“Yeah, I do. Not tonight though,” he laughed shortly.

“Alright. Pizza will have to do then, I guess.”

Liam then turned around to go in search of the phone, dialing the number of the place, leaving Niall standing there with a blue blanket in his arms and his parents.

“Let’s take a seat, should we?” she asked Niall, pointing to the sofas. He nodded.

“This place looks still the same as when we lived here, doesn’t it, Geoff?” Liam’s mum asked, looking around the living room.

“It does,” he nodded, “this room at least.”

“The bedroom probably doesn’t. As long as Liam didn’t put up posters in the walls, that’ll ruin the painting,” she shook her head and Niall chuckled.

“He doesn’t have posters, don’t worry.”

“Oh, good,” she smiled. “So we’ve heard quite some things about you, Niall, it’s actually really opportune that we decided to visit while you’re here,” she commented. What was Niall supposed to answer to that?

Just in queue, Liam re entered the living room, sitting next to the blonde, offering him a smile.

“So what were you doing here in London?” he asked his parents.

“Oh, we want to change some of the furniture at home so we decided we could come to London to look and then come here, haven’t seen you in a while, Liam.”

“Uh, yeah… I guess I haven’t been home in a while…” it was more of a mumble than a proper answer and Niall put a hand on Liam’s back.

“That’s alright, honey,” her mother smiled sweetly at her son. “Talking about that… how have you been? Have you been doing better?” she asked softly.

Liam sighed, and Niall smiled at him sheepishly, remembering how he had told him when they met that his parents always asked him that instead of having a normal chat.

“I’ve been doing well,” Liam shrugged, “you know how it is, sometimes it’s okay and some other times it’s not. Niall’s helped me a lot,” he took the blonde’s hand in his and gave it a squeeze.

“I’m glad to hear that,” she smiled at both of them, “having someone to support you is always important, I’m glad you found him, even if we don’t know him that much.”

“I promise I’m good,” Niall said with a hand over his heart.

“I don’t doubt it, you have this face,” she paused, “you just don’t look like a bad kid, you know?” she laughed.

“Liam must have chosen you for a reason,” Liam’s dad spoke, “we’re gonna support him one hundred percent about everything, so you must really be a good guy.”

“He is-“ Liam meant to speak but then the someone rang the bell. It must be the pizza, he thought. That was fast though. “I’ll be right back,” he squeezed Niall’s hand once more and stood up, the door wasn’t really that far anyway.

Niall excused himself to go look for plates and napkins so they could all eat and Liam helped him with the glasses and all later.

They decided to change the topic during dinner, even turning on the TV and putting some sports channel so they could all talk about it. Well, Liam’s mum didn’t actually but the rest of them did so that was fine.

Liam’s parents did get to meet Niall a bit more and even if he was a bit nervous, he could be himself, didn’t screw anything (at least he thought that) and always talked good about Liam and how he was great and was doing at work and everything.

When they were done with pizza, Niall made sure to take all the dirty plates and the empty boxes of pizza to the kitchen, washing everything quickly. He noticed the atmosphere has changed when he went back to the living room, something had changed, maybe something they had been talking about.

“Niall, sweetheart, would you mind giving us a minute to talk to Liam alone?” her mother asked him politely.

“Oh- no. Of course not,” he made a gesture with his hand. “Should I go home or-“

“No.” Liam said firmly, looking at him, trying to hide the plead in his eyes, “just go to my room or something, this won’t be long,” he turned to look at his mother and she sighed.

“Really, Li, I don’t want to be in the middle of anything here, I can just go and-“

“I said don’t, Niall.” Liam stated firmly and Niall was a bit taken aback.

“Okay,” he nodded slightly, then bowed his head to Liam’s parents, “in case I don’t see you before you go, it was really nice to meet you,” he smiled, because he had a feeling that things won’t be going smooth so he decided to say goodbye right then. He threw Liam a smile and turned to walk to Liam’s room, where he closed the door behind himself.

He sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, his mind going crazy about what might be going on out in the living room. What if Liam’s parents didn’t actually like him and they wanted to talk Liam into leaving him? He knew Liam wouldn’t, but for some reason, it worried him that his parents wouldn’t like him, in the end Liam was their son and they knew him better.

He knew it was wrong, he knew but still did it. He sat on the floor next to the door and put his ear to the wood and focused on the voices that came from the other room. They were faint and he could barely make out the voices and what they were saying, but he was trying hard.

“… we just want to make sure you’re fine, Liam, nothing else,” that was Liam’s dad.

“And what are you implying then?” Liam sounded like he was trying to contain himself.

“We’re not implying anything, Liam, we just don’t want you to depend on anyone, we want you to be okay with yourself,” this time it was his mother talking.

“I am fine with myself,” Liam responded sternly and there was a moment of silence.

“It’s just… you talk a lot about Niall, and I’m not saying he’s a bad kid, he seems lovely and I’m sure he is,” good, at least he didn’t have to worry about them not liking him, but where was this going then? “we think that you might be depending on him too much to feel better and we don’t feel like that’s the right thing for you.”

Well, that made a lot of sense, yes. He never thought about it that way, but Liam might be a bit (or more than a bit) depending on him. Niall didn’t mind to be there when Liam needed him, not at all, he would always be there to support him and make him laugh and help him feel better, but he didn’t want Liam to depend on him to be happy, he needed to learn that himself.

“Why not?” Liam asked, “he makes me feel happy when I feel like shit, why can’t I be with him?”

“We never said that, Liam, don’t put words in our mouth when we haven’t said them,” his mother warned him, “we want you to learn to deal with who you are because it’s the right thing to do, you can’t have your own happiness and well being depending on someone else,” she paused and Liam didn’t talk either, “what if it stops working one day? What are you gonna do with yourself?”

Niall couldn’t really make out what Liam had said then, but something along the lines of “he wouldn’t leave me.”

“I didn’t say he will. What if you decide to leave him?”

“I would never leave him,” Liam’s voice sounded challenging all of a sudden, “he means most to me than anyone ever had.”

“And that is fine. But we want you healthy and-“

“I will never be healthy!” Liam yelled and Niall moved away from the door, surprised at Liam’s sudden change of behavior.

“Liam, please calm down,” his father spoke. “Please believe that you will, I’ve been there too and I am now. Maybe it’ll not go away completely, but you can learn to live a healthy life.”

“Are you saying I’m not?”

“I’m saying you still haven’t recovered from it completely and I understand you, but you need to do this by yourself.”

There was a pause. A long moment of silence in which Niall couldn’t hear a thing, he wished he knew what was going on in there. If Liam was looking at them or looking down, if he was crying, if they were hugging, he _needed_ to know.

“Liam-“

“No.” Liam’s voice was weak and barely audible, “I can’t.”

“Yes you can, Liam-“ his mother said.

“I can’t. I can’t and I want you to leave.”

“Liam, please-“

“No. Please leave.”

“Liam, you’re behaving like a child,” Liam’s mother’s voice was stern.

“I said. Leave.”

It suddenly seemed like they were all yelling and then Niall could hear someone moving and then footsteps, probably Liam’s and then the sound of the door opening. He couldn’t make out what was said after that because the voice was too far away but then he heard a pair of footsteps walking. He heard voices saying stuff for a moment before the door was closed, so he quickly stood up, opening the door slowly and walking out.

“Li…?” he spoke softly and what he saw broke his heart.

Liam walked quickly in his direction, stopping in front of him and wrapping his arms around the blonde’s middle, hiding his face in the crook of his neck.

“Oh, Liam…” Niall hugged him, running a hand through Liam’s hair, feeling how the brunette’s arms tightened around him and hearing a choked sob. “Sh, sh, it’s okay, Li. It’ll be okay,” he swayed them slightly from one side to another and he heard him mumble something against his neck that he didn’t understand. “Why don’t we move to the room, yeah? Let’s go there,” he spoke softly, letting go of Liam, who looked down and nodded slightly so the blonde took his hand and walked the few steps that separated them from the bedroom.

Once there, Niall took a seat on the edge on the bed, then moved so he was sitting on the middle with his legs spread and Liam just kicked his shoes off quickly and didn’t even seem to think it twice before crawling over the bed and sitting in between Niall’s thighs, wrapping his arms around his neck, face hidden again and his legs around his waist, actually wrapping his whole body around the blonde’s. Niall hugged him back, whispering sweet nonsense into the other boy’s ear to help him calm down.

It took a while, a long while most probably until Liam’s sob calmed down and he looked up.

“Please don’t cry,” Niall run one of his thumbs down Liam’s cheek to get rid of the tears, “it breaks my heart.”

“I’m- I’m so sorry,” Liam sobbed again, bloodshot eyes looking at him sadly. “It’s just s- so frustrating a- and infuriating. I can never make t- them happy. I- I hate t- them.”

“No, you don’t. Don’t say that, Li,” Niall hugged him again so his face was resting on his shoulder once again.

They stayed silent for a couple of minutes, the only audible thing being their breathing and Liam’s hiccups from time to time.

“You know they are right, don’t you?” Niall whispered so he wouldn’t disturb Liam even though he knew it wasn’t his tone of voice what would do it but what he said.

“W- what?” Liam lifted his face and looked at him with wide, scared eyes, “are you gonna l- leave me? Please d- don’t leave me, I can’t-“ he choked and new tears spilled over.

“No!” Niall exclaimed. He was so close to tears himself right then he didn’t know if he was going to be able to keep it under control for much longer, “I would never leave you, Li, cross my heart.”

Liam stared at him, bloodshot brown eyes looking at him sad and tears pooling there but not falling. “Why d- did you say they are r- right, t- then?” he hiccupped.

“Well,” Niall placed his hand on Liam’s cheek and he tilted his head but looking at him, expecting an answer, “they are right about wanting you healthy and reaching your recovery by yourself,” Niall explained, “I’ll be by your side, always, and I can help you get through everything, but in the end it's all you, Liam, it's all you,” he smiled sweetly at his boyfriend as he rubbed his cheek with his thumb and Liam closed his eyes.

Suddenly, there was moving around them on the bed and Loki, who had been sleeping, was next to them, making a sad sound and looking at Liam. Niall couldn’t help but smile slightly at the dog, “he’s a bit sad right now, Loki, think he needs a cuddle, wanna join?” he laughed shortly and sniffled as the dog sat next to Liam, and licked his arm making Liam open his eyes and look at his dog with a sad smile.

“Hi, Loki,” he unwrapped one his arms from around Niall’s neck, scratching his dog’s head and making him bark at him happily.

They stayed like that for a while, playing with Loki who barked at them and moved his tail from side to side and Niall placing kisses on Liam’s cheek or forehead or neck or shoulder or whatever place was closer to him for a while. But it was Niall who spoke first after.

“You do know that it’ll get better, right?” he whispered and Liam turned his head to look at him but didn’t say anything, just shrugged. “No, don’t do that. I believe in you and I know you can do it, but it’s more important that _you_ believe you can do it. It’ll only get better if you want it to.”

“I don’t k- know how,” Liam whispered, looking down.

“Well, we’ll find a way. Baby steps, Li,” he kissed his cheeks.

“Okay.” Liam nodded slightly, “But you’re gonna stay… right?”

“Of course, you’re not getting rid of me,” Niall smiled, hugging the older boy and squeezing him in his arms.

“Thank you, I promise I’ll try,” Liam nodded again, “for you.”

“No,” Niall shook his head, “don’t do it for me, do it for you. You’re important, Liam,” he told him and Liam shook his head, “yes, you are. You are very important to me. And your parents. And Loki here. And I’m sure other people too.”

“I’ll try,” Liam sniffled.

“I wouldn’t expect less from someone as amazing as you,” Niall smiled, pecking his lips lightly. “Now, are you tired?” he asked and Liam gave one single nod.

“Very.”

“Alright, let’s get you out of these awful clothes and into bed, how’s that sound?”

“Okay,” Liam let out a deep breath and slowly unwrapped himself from around Niall’s body.

They changed into more comfortable clothes, Niall still wore that awful dress shirt Liam once gave him to bed and Liam shorts. They brushed their teeth and got into bed, where Loki was lying at the feet of.

Liam sighed as he got comfortable in between the blanket, “sorry,” he mumbled to Niall, who was just getting under the blanket after turning of the light of the room, leaving only the light on the nightstand on.

“Nothing to be sorry,” he smiled, “and nothing that some cuddles and kisses can’t cure now.”

“Please,” Liam smiled weakly, moving closer to the blonde on the bed, who turned on the only light that was still illuminating the room before getting to work, he promised Liam cuddles and kisses, cuddles and kisses he would get.

 

The morning after was quiet. Niall woke up first, he was lying on his side and so was Liam, they were facing each other and the older boy had an arm thrown loosely around his waist. Liam looked tired, his eyes were swollen from all the crying he had done the night before but at least he looked peaceful. At least he was sleeping, they found out that every time Niall slept over, he’d sleep for longer, and better too.

He touched Liam’s face lightly, caressing his cheek and down his neck which made Liam sigh in his sleep. He ran his hand through his eyelids, his nose and his lips. Liam was beautiful, even with swollen eyes and after a stressing night, he was beautiful in Niall’s eyes.

“Stop staring at me, I look awful,” Liam’s deep, sleepy voice said Niall almost jumped from the bed.

“Why do you always do that?” he let out a deep breath and put a hand over his chest. He scared him.

“I’m sorry,” a sleepy smile made its way into Liam’s face.

“You are beautiful,” Niall whispered and touched his cheek slightly with one of his fingers.

“Am not,” the older boy mumbled and hid half of his face on the pillow but Niall could still see a trace of smile on his features.

“Yes, you are” Niall smiled even though Liam couldn’t see him. “Have you been up for long?”

“Not really,” Liam sighed, turning to Niall again and opening his eyes, “hi.”

“Hey,” Niall smiled at him, “do you want breakfast?”

“Hm… I’m not really hungry but I guess some food would be good.”

“It will. I’ll go make something,” he leaned over and placed a kiss on top of Liam’s lips, “good morning.”

“Thanks, Ni. Good morning,” he smiled.

Niall then stood up and made his way to the kitchen to make tea and toasts, he couldn’t really make anything else without fearing to burn everything down. So when he was done minutes later, he put everything in a tray along with sugar for their tea, butter and jam for the toasts.

Liam was already sitting on the bed when he reentered the bedroom, checking something on his phone but dropping it instantly once he noticed Niall was back.

“Thanks,” he took the tray from the blonde’s hand and settled it on the bed as Niall sat back down next to him, throwing the blanket over his legs.

Niall grabbed his phone and put some music on as a background for their breakfast as he chewed on a piece of toast and Liam turned to look at him with a questioning look over the mug he was sipping his tea of, “music always makes everything better,” he smiled and Liam nodded in agreement. Everything would be fine.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is super late and I'm so, so sorry!! but to make up for it, this chapter is almost twice as long as the previous chapters so I hope you have fun reading! also, I haven't really had the time to finish proof reading it so I'm sorry for any mistakes, I promise to re read this as soon as I can to correct them. thank you to the ones who are still reading this! (:

Niall wasn’t the only one that could recon all the good stuff that has happened so far, Liam had been through a lot with Niall and couldn’t be any more thankful for the blonde boy who was not only always trying to cheer him up but by his side. Because that’s the thing about depression, everyone’s always telling you you can count on them but can you? Always saying they’ll be there when they are not there even for the good times, then how will they be able to be there through the toughest times? It’s not like he wouldn’t appreciate those words, but actions speak louder than words. And that was the thing about Niall, he just made his way into Liam’s life, he pushed and pushed until he gave in and he made a space for himself into Liam’s life, in his mind and his heart. Niall wasn’t the kind of people to talk and then not do, Niall was constantly reminding him that he was there for him, _always,_ during his best time and his hardest times.

He’s had friends during his life, not many, but never the kind of people he wanted to have around, but as he said once, you take what you can get. And sometimes he wouldn’t feel like doing anything, he wouldn’t feel like going anywhere or like seeing them or hanging out, he’d get the kind of complaint that was like “are you not coming because you’re not okay? Because you hate me? Because I’m trying to help you and I can’t if you’re not here” that wasn’t the best, those people didn’t get him. Kind and simple invitations out of the blue were nicer, but he didn’t know that until he met Niall. The morning texts he’d get even if Liam would always be up before him. The good night texts. The texts that asked him to come over with Loki because he wanted to learn how to cook something he saw on the TV but wasn’t sure if he could do it and wanted Liam to supervise and help because he knew his way around the kitchen better. Or when the blonde would call him at a random time of the day, sometimes while he was at work and Niall’s cheery voice would ask him to go to the movies with him because this new film was out and he really wanted Liam to go see it with him. See, this was what he never knew he needed until Niall came in. Niall made him happy. Or at least the happiest he could feel at times.

There was a time though, in which had been the other way around and Liam had to be the one to take care of Niall. Not that he wasn’t up for that, quite the opposite, he was all up for helping Niall whenever he needed however he could. It was Wednesday (or someday during the week, he couldn’t remember) and Liam had been out of work early, so he had ask Niall to go to his for dinner. It was also raining outside, it had been raining all day but once he was out of work it seemed like it was raining ten times worse. Good thing was that he could drive home and not get all wet, but driving in those conditions wasn’t the safest thing either. But he made it home okay in the end. He changed into comfortable clothes and made coffee and sat by the window with Loki, he had always liked to sit and watch the rain.

He got a text from Niall at some point, telling him he was already on the bus and on his way to his, and Liam had sighed and shook his head, he told him to let him know when he was out so he could pick him up but the blonde was so stubborn sometimes, said he didn’t want to be a bother. When had Niall been a bother to Liam? Never.

Minutes later, his phone buzzed with a new text, _‘man at the entrance let me in :)’_ it read. Of course the doorman already knew Niall, he was at his at least three of four days a week. He stood up to go to the kitchen and prepare more coffee for Niall when there was a loud thunder and a lightning outside and suddenly all the lights were off. He went to the living room again, turning off the switch of the light and unplugged everything so nothing will burn when the power came back.

His phone started ringing and he saw Niall’s name on the screen, he frowned and picked up, “Ni?” he answered and he heard a chocked sob that sent him into a frenzy, “Niall? Niall, are you there?”

“Get me out,” was the only thing that came out and another sob followed.

“What? Where are you?” Liam asked worried, didn’t he just text him he was inside the build- _oh._

“I- in the elevator, p- power’s g- gone,” he whispered.

“Fuck,” Liam muttered under his breath, “I’ll go see the janitor, do you know what floor you’re in?”

“N- no… please help me,” Niall cried.

“I’m on my way, Ni, on my way,” he threw the door open, Loki following him and made his way downstairs as fast as he could, still not hanging up on Niall. “Hold on, I’ll get you out of there, Ni.”

He found the doorman when he got to the ground floor of the building, “you still there, Ni?” he spoke into the speaker of his phone and got a choked ‘yes’ as a reply, “alright, hang in for a minute,” he told him and put his phone over his chest so he could talk to the doorman who seemed unaffected by the power going out. “Um, hi, my boyfriend’s trapped in the elevator and I’d really appreciate it if we could call someone to open up. He’s claustrophobic.”

The man stared at him for a moment, and Loki barked at him making the man react, “yes. Yes, of course,” he grabbed the phone that was on the small table at the entrance and dialed a number and Liam heard him speaking to someone. “Someone will be over now to fix it. Do you know what floor he’s in?” Liam shook his head, “maybe you should go looking and talk to him while we wait.”

“Ni, you there?” he asked once again, placing the phone against his ear.

“Y- yes. Are you g- getting me o- out of here?”

“Yes, someone’s coming to help right now, Ni,” he explained as he started his way upstairs to the first floor. He knocked on the door of the elevator there, “can you hear me knocking? Are you there?”

“I- I can but from afar,” Niall answer, his voice was getting tighter and more desperate every time he talked.

“Alright, I’m going up,” he ran upstairs to the second floor and repeated the procedure, “you there?”

“N- no,” Niall sobbed and Liam went up one more floor as fast as he could, knocking again.

“There?”

“Yes! Liam, g- get me o- out, the w- walls,” he cried, “the w- walls are cl- closing in, please!” he cried and Liam was starting to get nervous himself when he needed to remain calm.

“Nothing’s gonna happen, I’m right here on the other side, you can hear me right? Can we hung up the phones?”

“Y- yes.”

“Okay, I’m gonna hung up them and we can talk,” he explained and when Niall didn’t respond, he hang up. “Can you hear me?” he moved closer to the door of the elevator and sat down on the floor, Loki sitting right next to him.

“Liam, p- please,” he could hear Niall’s sobs.

“It’s alright, babe, someone’s coming to fix it and we’ll get you out in no time, okay?” was that even the right thing to say?

“My h- head’s dizzy,” Niall spoke so soft that it was barely audible for Liam.

“Just listen to my voice, okay? And breath, in and out, calmly.”

“I- I can’t. I’m gonna t- throw up.”

“Sh, sh. Are you sitting?” he asked.

“Y- yes.”

“Why don’t you lie on the floor? Listen to me and try to relax, okay?”

“O- okay,” he could almost see Niall nodding his head. He heard some shuffling around inside the elevator and footsteps coming from the stairs and the doorman came into view.

“Someone’s already working on it, they’ll do it as fast as they can,” he nodded.

“Thank you,” he said to the man who turned to go downstairs again and the talked to Niall again, “did you hear that, baby?”

“W- what?”

“They are working on it already, you’re getting out soon.”

“O- okay.”

“Did you lie down?” he asked and Niall muttered a ‘yes’ in response that was very clear but Liam thought that’s what he had said, “okay, close your eyes and listen to me, Loki’s here with me too, say hi to Ni, Loki,” he said and Loki barked at the door.

“H- hi, Loki,” Niall’s voice came from inside the elevator.

“We’re both waiting for you so we can all go and have dinner, yeah? What would you like to have?” he started talking whatever was on his mind, even though it wasn’t dinner time yet.

“I- I don’t know,” he choked a sob, “ch- chicken?”

“Oh, well you know that’s very fortunate because there’s this new thing I want to try, they are called chicken goujons.”

“O- okay, I-“ Niall was about to speak but suddenly there was a noise and the elevator moved, “Liam!” Niall screamed, “it’s going t- to fall, I’m g- gonna die,” he started crying harder.

“No, you’re not going to die, baby, you’ll be fine. It moved because they are fixing it.”

“It’s n- not going t- to fall?” Niall trembling voice spoke.

“It won’t,” Liam assured him and suddenly the door to one of the flats on the floor opened, an old lady coming out.

“Is everything alright?” the quiet voice of the old woman said.

“My boyfriend’s trapped in the elevator, he’s claustrophobic so I’m trying to calm him down,” he explained and the lady seemed to be taken aback for a second, looking at him with a weird expression. Maybe it was the word ‘boyfriend’, you know how old people are these days, but to be quite honest, he couldn’t give a shit about it right now.

“Oh, poor thing,” the woman commented a moment later, walking slowly and supporting herself on her cane towards him. “What’s his name?” she asked Liam.

“Niall.”

“Hello, Niall, I’m-“ she stopped and then whispered, “what’s your name?”

Liam chuckled, “Liam.”

“Oh, good,” she nodded, then spoke again, “I’m Liam’s neighbor, how are you doing in there?”

“N- not good,” he sobbed. Well, duh.

“I’m gonna make you some tea for when you get out, sweetheart, you’ll be out very soon.”

What a nice lady, talking to Niall like that and offering to make tea.

“I’ll go prepare tea, let me know if you need anything, yes?” the lady told Liam and he nodded before she turned around to walk into her flat again.

“You’ll be out soon, Ni, try to relax. Should we watch a movie later?”

“N- no,” Niall responded.

“No? What should we do then, hm?”

“B- bed. I’m s- so tired.”

“Okay. We’ll go to bed and have a good sleep, that okay?”

“Yes, ple-“ Niall spoke and then the elevator made a loud sound again and moved and Niall screamed before the door opened, to reveal an awful looking blond lying in fetal position on the floor of the elevator.

“Oh my God,” Liam stood up quickly and stepped into the elevator, kneeling next to Niall, “it’s alright, Ni, you can get out now, come on.”

“C- can I?” he asked scared.

“Yes, come on,” he helped him sit and then stood up, stepping into the hallway of the building again just in time as the lady came out with a cup of tea.

“Oh, good, you’re out already!” she smiled sweetly and Niall sniffled, hanging on to Liam for his life.

“I made you some tea, dear,” she approached them and handed it to him but he wouldn’t let go of the brunette so Liam take it for him.

“Thank you very much,” he smiled at her.

“No worries, let me know when you’re done. Do you need anything?”

“No,” he shook his head, “we’ll be fine. I think we’ll be staying here for a moment though.”

“Would you like to come in?” the lady offered politely.

“Oh. No, no thank you very much, we’re fine,” Liam offered her a smile and he felt Niall trembling in his arms, his hands clenching the front of his shirt even tighter.

“Alright, let me know,” she nodded before walking into her home, closing the door after her.

“Let’s sit for a bit, yeah?” he mumbled into Niall’s hair, pressing a kiss there.

“Okay,” the blonde whispered against his chest.

Liam sat first, sitting Niall on his lap and wrapping his arms around his waist, keeping him close and kissing his cheek. Loki came and sat next to Niall, making a sad sound and licking his cheek, for which Liam reprimanded him but Niall didn’t complain. He didn’t say anything and neither did Niall, he was still shaking but at least he wasn’t crying anymore. Every other minute he’d maybe let out a choked sob or a hiccup but that was it. He slowly sipped into the cup of tea that Liam had in his hand, because Niall’s hands were so shaky that he would’ve probably spilled it all over and broken the cup.

“Are you feeling better?” Liam asked him softly, brushing the blonde’s hair out of his forehead with his hand.

“Y- yes,” he nodded, “sorry I’m such a- a baby.”

“You’re not a baby,” Liam pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, “this was a normal reaction from someone with a condition like yours, nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re fine now,” Liam reassured him and swayed them to the sides and Niall nodded. “Should we go home?” he stopped the swinging and asked.

“Please,” Niall nodded slightly.

“Okay, let me just give back this cup to the lady,” he stated and slowly let go of Niall who started to stand up, supporting his body by placing his hand on the wall. Liam walked the few steps to reach the door and rang the bell, and a moment later, his neighbor opened the door.

“Thank you very much for this, it was very kind of you,” he thanked her politely.

“It’s nothing dear. Is he doing fine?” she asked, glancing at Niall who was standing a few meters behind Liam

“He’s fine, he needs some time to calm down.”

“Poor thing. Let me know if you need something.”

“Thank you very much, ma’am,” he nodded with a small smile and then turned around to go get Niall as he heard the door closing behind him.

Liam helped Niall with the stairs as he was still shaking but there was no way they’d take the elevator. Niall would probably never use it again. It took them probably three times the time it’d take them to get to Liam’s but at least Niall was feeling better, he was quiet, but he wasn’t trembling violently or sobbing anymore.

“Let’s go to bed, yeah? Do you want to lie down?” he asked and Niall nodded.

“I don’t want to s- sleep though,” he whispered. “My throat hurts.”

“We don’t have to sleep, baby, we’ll just cuddle and you’ll be fine in no time. I’ll get you something for your throat now,” he walked into the room and sat Niall on the bed. “You just change your clothes and I’ll be here in a second.”

It was the first time since they met that he got to do this for Niall, comfort him when he wasn’t doing good. It was usually the other way around, but now he’ll get to cuddle him and kiss him and spoil him in return.

He took a tablet from his medicine cabinet and a glass of water and walked into the bedroom, finding Niall in the exact same position as when he left. “Here, take this, your throat will feel better,” he handed the tablet and the glass to Niall who nodded and took them. Liam then placed the glass into this nightstand, he’ll take it to the kitchen later. “Let’s get you out of these clothes, hm?”

Liam helped him out of his hoodie first, then his shirt. Niall tried to undo the button of his jeans but he was still shaky so Liam smiled fondly at him, unbuttoning it for him so he took them out just as Niall handed him his too big shirt for bed, that Liam had washed the previous day so it smelled like fresh cotton which was comforting.

The brunette opened the blanket for Niall to get into bed and he did, immediately snuggling into the blanket and the pillow. “I’ll be right there,” he told him as he circled the bed for his side, got out of his clothes and into a pair of shorts and a shirt before getting under the blankets himself.

“You never wear a shirt to bed,” Niall mumbled as he turned to Liam and cuddled into him, his hands instantly finding his shirt and clenching it.

“Figured you’d want something to hold onto,” Liam smiled and kissed the blonde’s forehead.

“Hm,” Niall moved around for a bit until he found a comfortable position. “Tell me about your day?” he asked, looking up at Liam with big, blue eyes.

“Okay,” Liam nodded, squeezing Niall into his arms and started his story. He didn’t really do anything interesting that day, but he needed to get Niall’s mind off things so he tried to tell everything as cheerful as he could. He even managed to get Niall to chuckle once. Loki had also came to join them at some point, lying at their feet on the edge of the bed but not without going to Niall first and licking his face once again, but this time, the blonde smiled, unclenching one of his hands from Liam’s shirt and caressing the dog.

“Thank you, Loki, I’m fine now,” he smiled and the dog barked happily and went to lie down.

“Thank you too, Liam, I know this wasn’t how you probably wanted to spend the day,” he looked down.

“Hey, how else would I want to spend the day other than cuddling my boyfriend? It’s all good, Ni.”

“Thank you,” Niall mumbled into his chest, “love you.”

Liam sighed happily, “I love you too.”

*

“What are you doing?” Niall asked him as he entered his living room, phone in his hand and not actually looking at Liam who sported a frown while sitting on the couch looking at his phone.

“Trying to figure out how to use twitter properly,” Liam answered, touching something on his screen, “no! no- what did I do?!” he panicked and Niall laughed and walked towards him, sitting next to him on the couch.

“Let me see,” he snatched the phone from the older boy’s hand and looked, “you didn’t do anything!”

“But there was a warning- give it back!” Liam pouted and grabbed his phone back, making the blonde laugh.

 Liam went back to his phone, now faking an upset face and Niall just sat there in silence and watching him trying not to laugh. He snatched a picture of him, putting it up on his twitter and mentioning Liam.

“What’s that- I’ve got a notification?” he said confused and Niall saw him opening his notifications, “from… Niall. Of course, who else would it be?”

“Hey, thank you!” Niall exclaimed sarcastically and crossed his arms over his chest and pouted, making Liam laugh as he opened the tweet.

“Old boring grandpa trying to figure out how to use twitter,” Liam read and looked at the picture Niall had attached of him sitting, watching his phone with a frown, “I’m not an old boring grandpa!” he exclaimed, throwing himself at the blonde.

“You’re almost 22 and don’t know how to use twitter, you are!” Niall laughed.

“Well excuse me for not having friends!” Liam spat, not angry, more like… as if he was telling a truth.

And then there was a moment of silence.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Niall spoke softly.

“You didn’t mean anything,” Liam laughed sadly.

“You’ve got me. And you’ve got Harry too. Louis and Zayn also like you very much. You’ve got friends, Li.”

“Do they?” Liam looked at Niall, a small glint in his eyes.

“Of course they do, what even is that question, Liam,” he rolled his eyes, “it’s impossible not to like you-“

“But-“

“No!” Niall interrupted him and put a finger to his lips before he could even start talking, “whoever those people were in the past couldn’t see how great of a person you are and what a big heart you have. That’s in the past now.”

“You really think so?” Liam moved closer and rested his head on the blonde’s shoulder.

“I think you’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met,” Niall turned his head to kiss his forehead.

“You are too,” Liam smiled gratefully at Niall.

They stayed in silence for a while, just their breathings being the only audible thing.

“You know what?” Niall was the one to break the silence, “you should take a picture and put it up, it’s your turn now.”

“Okay,” Liam nodded and unlocked his phone, opening the camera app. “What should we do?”

“We don’t have to be doing anything,” Niall shrugged.

“But you always put up pictures of us doing something!”

“Hm,” Niall looked deep in thought, “how about this?” and even before Liam had time to ask what he was talking about, Niall was kissing him. Not like, snogging his face off, just kissing him. But Liam didn’t really care about the picture anymore, sighing against the blonde’s lips and taking his face in his hands. Niall chuckled into the kiss, moving his hand around in Liam’s lap until he found the phone and snatching the picture himself. He pulled away, pecking Liam’s lips one more time before he looked at the screen and cooed.

“This is the cutest picture we’ve ever taken!”

“Yeah… it’s really nice,” Liam smiled looking at his phone, “I don’t want to put it up thought, it’s like… intimate.”

“Yeah… send it to me so I can put it as my screen background?”

“But I was gonna use it as my screen background!”

Niall narrowed his eyes at Liam, “as if you’ll change your batman one!”

“I’ll change it for you,” Liam shrugged and looked away a bit embarrassed at what he had said.

“Aw! I think that’s the most romantic thing you’ve told me so far,” Niall laughed.

“Not true!” Liam said, trying not to laugh. “I’ll send it to you,” he pressed tapped on his phone and Niall’s phone buzzed.

“I’ll put it as my background later, come on,” he sat sideways on Liam’s lap, wrapping one of his arms around Liam’s neck, Liam’s hand instantly grabbing him by the hips to maintain the balance. Niall then grabbed the older boy’s phone, opening the camera again. “Do this face,” he explained, puckering his lips and opening his eyes big.

“What?” Liam asked laughing.

“Just do it!” Niall whined and laughed and Liam did the face. Niall did the same, but pressed his lips to Liam’s, stretching his arms quickly and pressing the button to take the picture. “There,” he said, looking at the screen, “you can put this up, is cute and also funny.”

“Let me see,” he looked at the screen, “yeah, this one’s okay, I guess.” He started typing on his phone, pressing all the wrong buttons to attach the picture until Niall told him how to actually do it, “I knew how to do it, I was just trying the other stuff,” Liam muttered under his breath and Niall laughed.

“Alright, Li. I’m sorry.”

“How do I follow you?”

“You already follow me.”

“I do? How?” Liam asked confused.

“I took your phone once and followed myself,” he shrugged with an innocent smile.

“Of course you did,” the brunette shook his head but couldn’t suppress a smile.

 _‘@LiamPayne: who’s kissing an old boring grandpa now? @NiallHoran’_ he twitted with the picture attached and Niall’s phone buzzed.

“Did you mention me?”

“Yep,” Liam beamed and Niall looked at his phone.

“Liam!” he laughed at the caption his boyfriend had chosen and shook his head. “You’re my old boring grandpa though,” he turned his head to peck Liam’s lips.

“That sounded so wrong, don’t say that again,” Liam scrunched his nose and laughed and Niall rolled his eyes, marking the picture as a favorite and retweeting it.

 

It was late and they were both cuddling on the sofa (Loki had also joined them) and they were watching some old rerun of a TV show when Liam decided to check his twitter, his phone had been receiving notifications all day since he posted that picture, he still need to learn how to turn them off.

“Ha!” he exclaimed and Niall turned to look at him as if he had grown a second head. “My picture has more retweets than any of yours,” Liam stuck out his tongue to Niall and the blonde rolled his eyes but smiled.

“Are you challenging me?” Niall raised an eyebrow.

“Never, babe, I was just teasing you. You’re the only twitter king in this house,” Liam kissed the top of his head.

“It better stay that way,” Niall mumbled, turning back to the TV again and cuddling closer to Liam.

*

Niall wasn’t the only one to meet family members either, actually, not long after that happened, Liam met Niall’s brother.

“So, my brother will come to visit on the weekend,” Niall explained, sitting on the sofa next to Liam who was reading something on Niall’s laptop.

“Oh,” the older boy blinked, “so, uh- does that mean I should stay home or-“

“No! No, Liam, what the hell, quite the opposite, I want you to be here. And he wants to meet you too so,” Niall shrugged and smiled.

“Oh, okay. Should I like- bring something, wear something specific, avoid something-“ Liam spoke so fast that Niall couldn’t stop the amused expression that took over his face.

“Liam,” he chuckled, putting a hand on the older boy’s shoulder and squeezing lightly, “you don’t have to do anything but be you.”

“I, uh- okay. Alright,” he nodded, “I’ve always been kind of bad at meeting people.”

“He’s gonna love you, I promise,” Niall smiled, “and so will Theo, he’s the greatest kid.”

“I hope,” Liam said softly with a small smile.

 

The weekend rolled around quickly after that and Niall had insisted on Liam (and Loki of course, Liam wouldn’t leave him anywhere, it was like a relationship of three, believe it or not) sleeping over at his on Friday so he’d be there on Saturday. At first Liam had said no because he thought it’d be good for him to have some time with his family without him being there but Niall shook his head and said that he wanted him there. Liam doubted at first but ended up giving in.

Liam woke up earlier than the blonde as usual and used the time to have a shower and make breakfast, coffee and toasts and muffins he had bought the day before. He tried to wake Niall up by rocking him softly and whispering his name, earning a sigh in return and he cuddled further into the blanket. Liam laughed softly and rolled his eyes fondly, this time trying something different. He ran a finger from the back of his neck and down, getting under the blankets. Niall didn’t wear anything to bed but his boxers briefs at his, and giving that he was lying on his side with his back to Liam, the older boy draw figures in his back with his index finger, feeling Niall moving and arching his back, he was a bit tickly.

The blonde woke up with a hum and turned around to look at Liam through his still half lidded eyes, “what are you doing?” he asked with his raspy, morning voice.

“You wouldn’t wake up,” Liam smiled softly and Niall yawned.

“What time is it?”

“Ten, your brother should be here soon,” Liam explained, “I made you breakfast,” he added, turning to grab the tray he had left on the bedside table as Niall moved into a sitting position.

“Thanks, Li,” he smiled sleepily as the tray was placed on his lap. Niall looked down to see only one cup of coffee, “you’re not having breakfast?”

“Already had coffee.”

“Oh. And did you eat something?” he asked because he knew Liam never really had a proper breakfast as he was supposed to, so he made sure he did.

“Uh, yeah…”

“You’re lying,” Niall narrowed his eyes at him.

“I didn’t want to,” he shrugged and Niall stared at him for a moment, still struggling to come out of his sleepy state and then grabbed his muffin and handed it to Liam.

“Please?”

“No, that’s for you,” the older boy shook his head no.

“Please? Just a bite?”

“No, Ni, really-“

“Pleeeeease?” he pouted, making him even more cute than he looked already with his sleepy face and hair sticking everywhere.

Liam sighed defeated, “okay,” he took the muffin and bit it. “Happy?” he asked once he finished chewing and swallowed.

“Now finish it?”

“No, it’s yours-“

“But-“ Niall cut him off but Liam placed the muffin back on the tray before standing up.

“I’ll take Loki out for a walk while you finish your breakfast and shower, yeah?” he walked around looking for the leash and Niall sighed.

“Okay,” he nodded, grabbing his cup and sipping on his coffee.

“Alright, I’ll see you in a bit then,” Liam turned to walk out of the room.

“Wait!” Niall exclaimed so out of the blue that Liam turned around to look at him alarmed.

“What?!” he asked worried but realized that Niall was just pouting, so it couldn’t really be anything too bad.

“You didn’t give me a good morning kiss,” Niall looked at him still pouting and with his big blue eyes. Liam shook his head in a ‘what am I going to do with you’ kind of way and turned to walk back to the bed, where Niall was still looking at him with that face that made him wanted to stay in bed and cuddle forever. Niall has really changed him. In a good way.

Liam intended on going for just a peck, but when he leaned down to do it, Niall caught his face with his hand to keep him in place for a longer kiss. It was kind of an awkward position, so when Liam tried to pull away to move, Niall grabbed him harder, so he had no choice that to awkwardly turn a bit to sit on the edge of the bed without breaking the kiss, supporting his weight with his hand on the mattress, the leash for his dog still on his other hand.

It wasn’t the longest kiss, they’ve had longest, but they still felt a bit out of breath when they pulled away.

“Happy now?” Liam asked, eyes still closed.

“Very,” Niall gave him another peck.

“I’ll go take Loki out now, yeah? I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Alright. You’re gonna help me cook, right?” Niall asked, sitting in his previous position again and going of his coffee.

“Of course,” he nodded, standing up to leave the room, “I’ll be right back.”

 

Loki’s favorite time to go out was always the morning, he was so happy to go out and see the light of the day Liam had to almost jog to keep up with him. And like he always did, he took his time, he thought that today would come in handy, because if Niall’s family would be in, maybe he won’t be able to take Loki out during the afternoon, so he better enjoy now.

He was on his way back to Niall’s when he walked past a bakery and stopped in front of the glass window. Maybe he should by something for dessert? Or for like, coffee time? He stepped into the store, just a few steps so Loki wouldn’t be inside (it wasn’t that big of a place anyway) and who did he run into? Harry.

“Liam!” Harry exclaimed and went for a hug.

“Oh- hi, mate,” he hugged Harry back.

“What are you doing here?”

“Niall’s brother is coming today and I thought I should buy something for like, coffee time or whatever or Niall would freak out later because he’ll have nothing to eat,” he chuckled.

“Always so nice, you. How are things going with him?” Harry asked, stepping outside the store.

Liam shrugged and followed his friend out of the store, Harry knew already how his relationship with Niall was and he didn’t have much to add, “good. He’s always been good to me.”

“I know,” Harry smiled, “you’ve looked happier than I’ve ever seen you since you met him.”

“That’s because I never looked happier before that.”

Harry rolled his eyes, “don’t start, I’m trying to be nice here.”

“Sorry. Thanks though, I’m happy he didn’t run away yet.”

“I don’t think he will either. I mean, I know you still got like- bad days. Niall still hasn’t left, why would he now?”

Liam shrugged, “he can always get tired of it.”

“Look, I met him like, what? Once or twice? He’s not gonna leave. But you still think about the possibility of it happening a lot, don’t you?”

“I… yeah. I kind of do.”

“You should really talk about that with him, you know the only way to get someone to understand you is talking.”

“I just…” he sighed, “I don’t know.”

“I think you should,” Harry put a hand on his shoulder and smiled softly. “I should be going now.”

“Alright,” Liam nodded, “oh wait. Can you stay with Loki for a minute while I buy something?”

“Sure,” Harry nodded and Liam handed him the leash as he walked inside the store again.

It took him a couple of minutes to decide what kind of cake he wanted to buy but in the end decided for a simple one, he didn’t know if there was anything Niall’s bother or his wife or kid wouldn’t like.

Harry was playing with Loki in the street when he walked out, they talked for a few more minutes before saying their goodbyes with half a hug and their ‘see you at work on Monday’.

Loki kept sniffing almost everything he came across on the street on their way back to Niall’s and Liam had to pull the leash a couple of times before he did something dumb.

By the time he was back to Niall’s flat, it must have been half an hour or forty minutes top, but still, just as he closed the door and freed Loki from the leash, Niall entered the living room, a pair of joggings and a plain white shirt, hair still wet from the shower and hugged Liam, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Everything alright?” he asked, wrapping his arms around the blonde with a confused expression.

“Yeah… I missed you,” Niall mumbled into his neck.

“But I’ve been gone for less than an hour!” he chuckled.

“I still missed you,” Niall shrugged, letting go of him. “What is this?” he asked confused as he saw the bag Liam was carrying in his hand.

“Oh! I bought cake for later in case we wanted it as a dessert or for coffee,” he shrugged, “thought it’d be nice,” he added as he walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to the put the cake inside it.

“Thanks Li,” Niall smiled and kissed his lips when he closed the door of the fridge, “help me cook lunch?”

“Of course. What are we making?” they walked into the kitchen.

“I was thinking pasta because I don’t know what else we can do?”

“Whatever you want, Ni,” he smiled.

There wasn’t that much to do because really, how hard could be to make pasta and tomato sauce for it? Still, Liam was a big fan of cooking, especially if it included Niall. Or whatever they were doing, he just enjoyed whatever activity they could do together, and they made a good team in the kitchen.

Once they were done with the chopping and the sauce was already getting cooked, Liam put the water for the pasta in a different stove and went to lean against the wall as Niall was finishing cleaning all the utensils they used minutes before. He watched him moving around the small kitchen for a while until he was done and smiled at him while he was drying his hands after washing, and Niall smiled back, getting closer and wrapping his arms around him once again.

“Are you sure you’re fine?” Liam asked, hugging Niall and resting his chin on top of his head.

“I’m fine,” Niall muttered and nodded.

“You sure? ‘Cause you’ve been really quiet and you’re all like… cuddly. I mean- it’s not a bad thing but…” he shrugged.

“I just remembered I had a bad dream while I was showering, but it’s fine.”

“You want to tell me what it was about?” Liam asked and Niall shook his head no. “Come on, please tell me?” he pleaded and Niall sighed.

“It’s just- I was… by myself. You weren’t… there… anymore,” Niall talked as soft as a whisper, his arms squeezing Liam’s body a bit too tight.

Liam didn’t say anything for a moment, just take in the words the blonde had said. What did ‘anymore’ mean? Did that mean that… “You mean that… I did it? I did something to myself? In your dream, I mean.”

“I- I don’t know. It seemed like it in the dream. It was so awful,” Niall buried his face more into Liam’s neck and hugged him tighter.

“You know I wouldn’t do that, right?” Liam whispered, moving his hand to run his fingers through the blonde’s hair but didn’t get any answer from him. “Is that a fear of yours? Are you scared I’d do something to myself?” he kept running his hand through his hair but still felt Niall nodded against him. “Well, I wouldn’t, so you don’t have to worry about that, Ni.”

Niall stayed in his position for a moment before loosening his grip and looking up at the older boy, “promise?” he asked with sad eyes, he wasn’t crying or anything, but he just seemed sad and affected by his dream.

“I promise. Especially not now that I’ve got you,” Liam smiled and caressed Niall’s cheek with his thumb.

The blonde sighed, letting his arms to the sides of his body, “it’s not about me. I don’t want you to make this about me. It’s about you and how great of a person you are and because you deserve it. Not because you have me.”

“I know that, we’ve been through this already, I just meant that I’d never be that selfish and not think about you.”

“Oh. Okay.” Niall smiled slightly.

There was a moment of silence in which Liam wondered if he should tell Niall about what he had told Harry earlier. Maybe he should let him know.

“So, um, now that we’re talking about fears… I feel like I should let you know something too.”

“Yeah?” Niall looked up at him, a bit of confusion showing on his features.

“Um… well, I-“ Liam started talking but realized he should put the pasta into the water already or it won’t be ready on time, “give me a minute,” he kissed Niall’s forehead and moved around the small kitchen, looking for the pasta and throwing it into the boiling water. “I think we should go sit.”

Niall nodded and they head to the small table that was in the living room, sitting one next to each other.

“So what’s up?” Niall asked with a worried smile.

“It’s not- not _bad_ , but Harry said I should let you know…”

“Harry is right. You should always talk to me,” Niall smiled slightly, putting on of his hands on top of Liam’s.

“It’s kind of difficult when it is about you though…” he said softly and looked away.

“About me?” Niall looked confused and then blinked as if he understood, “oh. I think I know where this is going.”

“Yeah? ‘Cause I don’t really want to say it, it’s silly.”

“No, it’s not. No fear is silly. Tell me.”

“But you already know.”

“ _Tell me,_ ” Niall insisted.

“I um… I’m still scared… you’ll leave…” he felt Niall’s hand squeezing his over the table and he looked at him, Niall was smiling softly and there was this look in his eyes Liam couldn’t quite read. “I mean, I know we’ve talked about this before,” he continued, “but I still can’t stop feeling this way. But you wouldn’t, right?”

Niall sighed, “look, Li,” he moved his chair so they were sitting closer, “we don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future, but I don’t have any intentions to leave you any time soon, we should enjoy the present and have a good time and concentrate on being happy. Now. And tomorrow will be a new day and we’ll see. But I don’t want you to think about that, I’m so happy with you, Li, I really am.”

“Really?” Liam whispered.

“Really,” the blonde smiled.

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he chuckled this time.

“Okay,” Liam nodded once and Niall kissed his cheek.

“Love you,” he squeezed his hand once more before letting go. “Do you think the pasta is ready?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Liam shook his head.

“Well, we should start preparing the table and all then, yeah?” he asked and Liam nodded once again, standing up and both walked into the kitchen to look for plates and cutlery.

They had just finished arranging everything in the table when Liam went to check on the pasta, confirming that it was ready so he took care of that, leaving everything ready for when Niall’s brother came. Which he didn’t have to wait too much until it happened, cause he had just sat on the sofa in the living room when the bell rang and Niall came running from his room where he was doing who knows what with a big smile on his face, Loki right behind him but Liam stopped him and told him to seat on the couch. Nothing made Liam happier than a happy Niall.

“Hello!” Niall exclaimed as he flew the door open.

“Bro!” Niall’s brother, Greg, exclaimed and hugged him. Liam stood up, approaching them but not quite to intrude.

“Oh hi, Theo!” Niall talked in a dumb voice you only use to talk to a child or a pet, “haven’t seen you in a while, did you miss me?” he pocked his tummy and Theo giggled before Niall greeted Greg’s wife, Denise with a hug. Or the best kind of hug you can give someone who’s holding a baby. “So…” he started when he was done with greeting his family, “this is Liam,” he indicated with his hand towards Liam.

“Nice to meet you, mate,” Greg was the first to speak and shook Liam’s hand firmly and with a smile.

“Hello, Liam,” Denise greeted him later with a kiss on the cheek, “this is Theo.”

“Oh, I know,” Liam smiled, “I’ve seen quite some pictures and heard a lot about you,” he talked to the baby, “your uncle loves you,” he said and the baby giggled and stretched his tiny arms to him as Niall closed the door.

“I think he wants you to hold him,” Denise chuckled.

“Me?” Liam asked alarmed, he was scared he’d drop him and he’d get hurt or something. “I don’t know how to hold him…”

“I’ll show you, come on,” Denise stepped closer and suddenly a baby was being handed to him as Denise explained him how he should hold him properly. “That’s how you do it, see, it’s fine!”

“His name’s Liam,” Niall approached him and stood next to Liam, talking to the baby, “can you say Liam?” the baby looked at him with a smile on his face and babbling. “Li-am,” he said slowly for him and Theo looked at him for a moment.

“Di!” the baby babbled and laughed and so did the two boys.

“No, not Di! Li! Li-am,” Niall tried again.

“DiDi!” the baby babbled and they all laughed.

“He’s in that stage in which he just repeats syllables, so we’re mama and papa, he’s DiDi and you’re probably Nini,” Greg explained with a short laugh.

“What’s my name, Theo?” the blonde asked his nephew.

“NiNi!” the baby exclaimed, moving his arms and Liam laughed, securing his arms around him so he won’t fall or anything. The baby kept babbling and turned to Liam and put a hand on his face.

“Ow!” Liam exclaimed playfully as the baby touched his face.

“He’s getting to know you,” Denise explained and they all moved to the couches.

“Oh, and who is this guy sitting here?” Greg asked as he saw the dog still sitting on the couch.

“Oh!” Liam explained, “that’s my dog, Loki. Come say hi, Loki,” he spoke to the dog and he barked, standing up and walking to Greg, standing in two feet and clawing at his legs happily, making the man laugh and pet his head. “Hello, pup!”

The dog made his way to Denise moments later and did the same and she greeted him and the dog smelled all their legs and shoes before barking at Liam and looking at the baby. “No, Loki, he’s not that old yet, you can’t play with him.”

“You know what, let Theo play with him, he loves pets, don’t you, Theo?” Denise said and Theo babbled.

Niall sit on the floor then, and so did Liam, but he sat Theo on his lap, he figured it’d be better that way, given that he was actually his uncle and he’s feel more comfortable. Also, this way he could tell Loki what to do easier. First Loki sniffed the baby, making Theo laugh, and Liam told his dog to sit and he did. Both Liam and Niall showed Theo how he could pet Loki’s head and back. Apparently the dog was having the time of his life, because moments later he was on his back with his stomach up so they could stroke him while he barked happily.

“Niall!” Liam exclaimed all of a sudden, standing up.

“What?!” Niall asked alarmed.

“The food must be cold by now!”

“It’s been five minutes!” Niall laughed, “I don’t think so. But I still think we should have lunch already. What do you think about that, Theo, hm?” he turned to the baby who was still enchanted with Loki.

Denise came over to hold Theo up, and he made a complain sound, starting to cry. His parents took care of him so he’d stop crying while Niall and Liam went into the kitchen and made sure the pasta wasn’t cold before serving it in the plates.

Theo made a mess, it was funny for the men but not actually funny for his mother who had to accommodate herself every two minutes to eat and feed the baby. But other than that, they had the chance to have a nice chat and Liam thought they were really nice and humble people. Niall kept making funny faces from the other of the side of the table to his nephew, making him laugh and Denise would glare at him and Niall would laugh. You could see how much he loved him in his eyes.

They moved to the sofas later and Liam asked if someone wanted coffee but they agreed they didn’t. They chatted for a bit and let Theo keep playing with Loki while Niall caught up with his brother at the same time Liam got to know him.

“You look tired,” Niall commented after a while and Liam actually realized how tired they actually looked, being parents must be exhausting.

“Yeah, we couldn’t really sleep on the plane,” his brother explained with a sigh.

“Did Theo keep you awake?”

“No, that’s what’s surprising, he actually did sleep but we just couldn’t.”

“Well you can go nap if you want, you can take my bed.”

“Is it safe to sleep in there?” Greg narrowed his eyes and moved to Liam and back to his brother with a smirk.

“Greeeeeeg!”  Niall whined, covering his face with his hands and Liam blushed.

“I was just joking, bro,” Greg laughed and Niall shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“I don’t think Theo wants to go to sleep,” Denise said with a sigh.

“We’ll watch him,” Liam explained simply.

“Oh! Maybe we can go out with him for a bit, when we took Loki out for a walk, right?” Niall asked with a wishful look in his eyes.

“I don’t know…” Theo’s mum didn’t seem so sure about letting his baby alone.

“Come on, they are grownups. Niall’s my brother, he won’t let anything happen to Theo, you know that,” Greg reassured her.

“Please?” Niall looked at her with big blue eyes.

“Oh, don’t give me that look!” she exclaimed, “it’s in the family, huh?” she shook her head. “Fine, but please let us know if you go out, leave a note or something so he don’t freak out.”

“Of course!” Niall said happily, “thanks, Denise!” he went over her and hugged her.

Niall showed them the room and Liam heard them talk for a bit while he stayed in the living room with Theo and Loki until he heard the door of the bedroom close and Niall’s footsteps.

“All done,” Niall smiled and sat in the couch next to Liam. “You’re stuck with us, little one!” he spoke to Theo and pocked his sides making the little boy laugh. Niall grabbed him from under his arms and help him up to sit him on his lap. “What are we doing now, huh Theo?” the blonde spoke and Liam couldn’t help but smile stupidly at his boyfriend and the baby, Niall was generally cute all the time but this was cute on a whole new level.

They played with Theo for a while, Niall didn’t have any toys for kids, but Denise had told him he’d find some in the bag she had brought, so they took the few toys out and sat on the floor one in front of the other with the baby, and Loki sat next to Liam. They mostly let him play as they watched, Theo was sitting in between his uncle’s legs playing with his toys, he even threw some at Liam, who obviously caught them, but thank God they were all stuffed and soft or he could’ve seriously hurt him.

After a while, it came a moment in which Loki stood up and started walking around and Liam knew what was coming, he was going to take him out soon if he didn’t want him to go crazy. So he helped Niall up and they both looked for Theo’s little coat to put it on him before they went out. And of course Niall had written a little note for his brother and Denise, telling they took Theo out with them for a bit and they’d be back soon, actually he was pretty sure they’d be back before they woke up, but just in case.

Niall had chosen to carry Theo, so he had the baby’s tiny legs on his hips as he kept him secure with his arms around him while Liam walked next to him with Loki. Usually, Loki would spring out as soon as they were on the street and they wouldn’t mind to walk a little bit faster to keep his pace, but this time, they took it easier and Liam even felt a bit bad for having to pull on the leash too much so he would slow down but Loki eventually got the message and they wandered around the streets for a while.

Theo was just as happy as Niall, in a childish way, of course, but he was babbling and giggling all the time, Liam even wondered if that’s how Niall was when he was a baby. Theo kept babbling (God, this kid was going to talk nonstop once he actually learned how to) as they talked and they must have been three blocks away from Niall’s flat when a little boy who couldn’t be older than four or five years old came running towards them.

“Mommy, mommy look! He’s got two daddies!” the boy exclaimed, pointing to Theo and a woman who was apparently chasing him appeared right behind him and both Liam and Niall looked shocked.

“You don’t know that, don’t be rude!” the woman whispered to the boy and looked at Niall and Liam with an apologetic expression.

“I’m sorry, he didn’t mean it like that,” she said before she turned to the boy, “apologize with the men, sweetie.”

“I’m sorry,” the boy looked down, “I just thought he had two daddies like I have two mummies,” he looked up to who apparently was his mother with big, innocent eyes. Everything was happening so fast that none Liam or Niall had the time to reply yet.

“No!” Niall started laughing and the woman looked at him as if he had suddenly grown a second head, “don’t worry about it,” Niall clarified, “we’re not offended at all, we actually are together,” he smiled, “but this is not our son though.”

“Oh,” the little boy blinked. “Is he your brother?” he asked.

“No,” Niall gave a short laugh again, “he’s my nephew.”

“And you two are married?” the boy asked innocently pointing between Liam and him and he heard the woman gasp.

“I think it’s enough,” she told the boy.

“It’s fine,” Liam seemed to finally found his voice to speak, “we’re not married, no.”

“Why not?” the little boy frowned.

“Well, um-“ Liam blinked, not sure how to respond to that.

“Okay, that was enough,” the woman said, this time laughing, “I’m really sorry about this,” she put her hands on the boy’s shoulder and started walking. “I wish you both the best,” she smiled before grabbing her son’s hand and kept on walking.

Liam and Niall stood in their place for a moment before starting to walk again and Niall was the first to speak, “well, that was something,” he laughed.

“You have to admit he looks a lot like you,” Liam explained as he pointed to Theo who was now playing with Niall’s hair. They kept walking in silence for a while, as if both of them were into their own little worlds. Liam took Niall’s hand in his after a while when he realized that he was holding his nephew with just one arm and squeezed it slightly, “maybe one day,” he muttered, not taking his eyes from the sidewalk and Loki. It wasn’t meant for Niall to hear but he must have heard and understood it because there was another slight squeeze in return.

After a few more minutes, they decided to come back to Niall’s flat, so much to Loki’s complains, they turned around and made their way home.

As Niall thought, nor Greg or Denise were up yet, so he just sat on the sofa for a minute waiting for Liam to come out of the bathroom so he could use it before they decided what they wanted to do next.

“DiDi!” Theo clapped his hands happily as Liam reentered the living room and Niall chuckled, passing his nephew to Liam in order to stand up. Theo was looking and babbling to Liam nonstop, and Liam looked at him seriously, asking him questions like ‘really?’ and ‘mhm?’ as if they were having a real conversation.

“So what now?” Niall asked when he was out of the bathroom.

“I don’t know about you but I’m really craving some coffee now. Would you make one for me, please?” Liam pouted.

“’Course,” Niall nodded with a smile and bended over to place a kiss on his boyfriend’s lips, feeling a tiny hand touch his cheek and he laughed, pulling away. “Yes, you can have a kiss too,” he said to Theo, placing a kiss on the top of his head before walking to the kitchen to make coffee.

It took Niall a couple of minutes, there wasn’t any coffee done to just heat up so he needed to actually make it, deciding that it’d be better if he made coffee for the four of them for when his brother and Denise were up too.

He served Liam’s coffee in his favorite mug (even if he wouldn’t admit something as stupid as to having a favorite mug) and then a mug for himself before walking out of the kitchen to find the cutest scenery ever when he stepped into the living room.

How Theo had fallen asleep so quick when he had been awake and happy just minutes ago, no one knows, but he was still sitting on Liam’s lap, on his side, so the side of his head was resting on Liam’s chest with his eyes closed. But what was really cute, was that he was holding Liam’s thumb in his small hand.

He would’ve tiptoed closer if it weren’t for the mugs he was holding in his hands, so he walked closer as silent as he could. Liam wasn’t asleep, no, but he didn’t want to wake Theo up.

“Thanks,” Liam whispered and smiled just as Niall had put the mugs on the small coffee table before he looked down at Theo again. He looked like he was entranced, there was peace in Liam’s face and a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Niall needed to remember this forever, so without thinking it twice, he took from his phone from his pocket, opening the camera.

“No, look down again,” Niall told Liam because he had just lifted his face to look at him and Theo moved and Niall silently prayed that he didn’t wake up because this photo needed to be taken. Luckily for him, he didn’t, he just moved for a second and moved Liam’s hand closer to him by pulling his thumb closer.

He snatched a picture quickly and Liam looked at him with a soft smile and Niall couldn’t help but let his mind go further, think about a future (far or not, he didn’t care) that include a lot more of this beautiful sight in front of him. His heart fluttered at the thought but he decided to let go, it wasn’t a time to think about things like that, not when there were still so many things they still needed to work out.

He used the picture as his phone background because really, who wouldn’t do it? And after that, of course he decided to put it up.

 _‘@NiallHoran: the two men I love the most. @LiamPayne’_ he simply wrote as a caption for the picture and he heard Liam’s phone buzzing in his pocket.

“Can you please get and see who is it?” Liam asked him, sure that Niall had heard his phone going off in the silent room.

“It’s just me, I mentioned you on twitter,” Niall beamed and Liam rolled his eyes.

“I should’ve known,” he shook his head, “I mean, who would have texted me otherwise?”

Niall didn’t answer, as sad as it sounded, he was getting used to this type of comments from Liam and he saw no point anymore in arguing with him, especially not when they had had such a beautiful day and now he had his nephew sleeping on his lap.

Moments later, both of their phones buzzed at the same time and Niall frowned and decided to check, of course it was twitter.

_‘@HarryStyles: @NiallHoran @Liam Payne who is he? can I meet him please? :) x’_

_‘@LouisTomlinson: @NiallHoran @LiamPayne THEO IS IN TOWN AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME? I HATE YOU’_

He chuckled at Louis tweet, sending him a short reply and pocketing his phone again, going back to Liam. He handed Liam his mug, who took it with the only free hand he had, seeing as his other arms was serving as a pillow for Theo and his thumb was still caught in his tiny hand. He thanked Niall and leaned forward to peck his lips.

Greg and Denise got up just moments later, cooing at the view they had of his song sleeping on Liam’s lap. Denise had offered to take him to the bed so he could sleep but Liam had shook his head no, lying about how his arms was definitely not falling asleep. There was no need to do such thing.

Niall had brought two more mugs with coffee for the other two, this time bringing the cake Liam had bought earlier too. They chatted quietly for a bit until Theo woke up from his nap, a bit short for a kid if you asked him but it was fine, at least Liam was able to move his arm again. Theo was handed to his parents and he was actually able to eat a bit of cake, making, of course, a big mess again.

Niall’s brother and his family didn’t really stayed for too long, after all, they had been in London to visit Denise’s family, and that day had been just a detour from where they were supposed to be. Niall took pictures with his nephew and his brother and of course, of all of them together before they left.

“Theo adored you,” Niall commented when his family was gone and there was only the two of them alone again.

“I adore him too, he’s such a sweet kid,” Liam smiled, “he looks so much like you, it’s unbelievable.”

“Well, cuteness is in the family, I guess,” Niall chuckled.

“I can see,” Liam nodded and laughed. “We should go out for dinner, what do you think?”

“I think is a great idea, we’ve been here all day, I need a break from this awful flat.”

“I love your flat!”

“Well, I don’t so let’s go,” Niall placed a kiss on Liam’s cheek before walking past him to look for his coat.

*

Niall’s boss has decided he wanted to restyle the store, which was really good because the walls could use a bit of painting and brighter colors so the blonde had gotten a week off of work and he had offered to keep Loki with him during the day while Liam was at work so he could take him out for a walk. Also, he wouldn’t feel that alone at his small flat with the dog’s company.

It was Thursday and Liam had bought donuts for them to eat with their coffee. Niall had given him a spare key of his flat so it’d be easy for him to let himself inside instead of ringing the bell whenever he was there so that made this easier. And it was also really nice of the blonde to trust him like that.

He had made his way upstairs on the building, keys already in hand from having opened the front door of the building moments before and was about to place it into the keyhole of Niall’s flat door when he heard a voice talking.

“You know what your relationship lacks of?” the voice said. Liam identified it as Louis’.

“What? Louis, don’t-“ he heard his boyfriend say but Louis spoke anyway.

“Sex.” He heard Louis said and Liam suppressed a sighed. He knew. It’s not like the thought had never crossed his mind, Niall was great, he loved him more than anyone he’s ever been with and he was beautiful, hot even, he never denied that to himself. But still, Niall wasn’t the problem, he was. He’s been explained when he was diagnosed with depression, and it had been embarrassing and awful, but with time he understood what he had been told when they said that depression led to a reduction or loss of interest in activities he was formerly interested or that gave him some kind of satisfaction or pleasure. And of course, that also meant sex.

“Louis, please don’t,” he heard Niall’s pleading voice and it was his fault, really, not to ever had talked about the topic because he was scared Niall would leave him, but he didn’t realize that it would affect him in the long run too.

“No- listen, mate,” he heard them moving around inside the flat, “it’s not like, I don’t mean having sex just for the sake of getting off, I mean sex because that kind of intimacy adds up to the relationship, brings people closer in… I don’t know, some kind of way.” And Louis was right, everything he had said was right, maybe he needed to talk about it with Niall, no matter how embarrassing it may be.

There was silence for a moment inside the flat and Liam thought that they were done with the talking and was about to just get in when Niall spoke. The walls of that building were really thin though, was that okay?

“I know. But just- I don’t know, I don’t know how to bring it up and Liam has never said a word about it. Not one.”

“Do you think he’s like- asexual or something?”

“Do you think he is?”

“I don’t know. I mean, there’d be nothing wrong with that though, right?”

“I guess. I just wish he’d tell me what goes up in his head.”

“Maybe he’s embarrassed about it and doesn’t know how to talk to you about it?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. It’s just- I’m so-“ Niall let out some kind of frustrated sigh that made Liam felt bad, but he kept listening. “He just has trouble talking about what happens with him and I mean- I get it, I’ve done my fair research on depression and all but it still bugs me that I need to look it up instead of just being able to talk to him.” There it is, what Liam has always thought was being confirmed by Niall himself. “And it’s so annoying ‘cause like, I’m twenty one, I’ve got _needs_ , Louis. He could just snap his fingers and I’d do whatever he asked me to, I don’t give a fuck.”

“Ew! I didn’t need that much information!” he heard Louis trying to cheer up the conversation.

“It’s just how I feel. I wish he’d tell me what’s up with him. Actually, that’s what I wish all the time, sex related or not.”

“Hey, don’t bring yourself down, mate, you two have come such a long way already! There are always things that need fixing, you just need to talk to him.”

Sometimes Liam wished he had as good friends as Niall had. Really, they were awesome. Harry was too, but he’d never had this kind of talk with him, not in a million years.

“I’d give it a thought, guess there’s nothing to lose,” he heard Niall’s faint voice speak and then there was the sound of the TV that had been turned on. He waited for a few minutes before entering.

“Hey,” he smiled as he closed the door behind himself and Loki came running to him. “Hi to you too, Loki,” he greeted his dog. “Oh, hey Louis,” he greeted Niall’s friend too.

“Hey, Liam,” Louis smiled at him.

“I brought donuts,” Liam commented, showing Niall the bag with the box inside.

“Great!” Niall exclaimed as he approached him to give him his hello kiss before walking into the kitchen. “Coffee, right?” he asked Liam nodded. “Lou?”

“No, thanks, Ni. I should be going now,” Louis declined his offer for coffee and stood up.

“You sure you don’t want to stay? There are enough donuts for the three of us,” Liam threw in.

“Don’t be too sure of that!” Niall exclaimed from the kitchen and Liam rolled his eyes while Louis laughed and shook his head.

“That’s fine, I just stopped by to make Niall company until you were back, I need to do stuff for class or I’ll fall behind,” Louis explained, “but I’ll see you two soon and we’ll have dinner or something, yeah?” the blue eyed boy walked into the kitchen to give Niall a half hug before leaving and Liam could hear him saying something to him but couldn’t really make out the words. He said his goodbye to Niall’s friend later and then there was just the two of them.

“How was work?” Niall asked him as he handed Liam his mug with coffee and they both sat on the small, round table on the living room.

“Pretty boring as always,” Liam shrugged as he opened the box of donuts, handing one with chocolate on top to Niall who accepted it happily. “Did you have fun with Loki?”

“Lots. We went out for like an hour and a half today, I took him to the park.”

“Really? I haven’t done that since he was a small puppy, he was excited about it, right?”

“He was bouncing everywhere,” Niall chuckled over a piece of donut he was chewing, “we should take him there more often,” he added and Liam nodded.

Silence fell between the two of them after that conversation, the only sound was made by when they put the mugs back on the table. Liam couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation he just heard and fell like he needed to talk about it. He felt like he owed Niall an explanation.

“Hey, Ni?” Liam asked when he finished his coffee.

“Yeah?”

“Can we talk?”

Niall looked at Liam with a frown and a confused expression, “I- sure. What’s up?”

Liam looked down at the table and pushed the mug further into the table so he could rest his hands there and waited for a couple of seconds before he spoke, trying to organize his thoughts inside his head.

“So, I um- I kind of heard your conversation with Louis… before I came in,” he started, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh.” Niall blinked.

“And I, uh- I feel like that’s something we need to talk about. More like, I think I owe you some kind of explanation.”

“No. No, Liam, no. I mean- no, you don’t need to explain anything to me, but just…”

“But I just need to explain,” Liam smiled slightly.

“I’m sorry. I mean- I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything but I’d like to know, no pressure. Is it, like- that you don’t like me? That way, I mean,” Niall spoke softly and he sounded almost shy. Liam’s eyes went wide.

“No! No, God,” see? This is exactly what Liam didn’t want it to happen, “I do certainly find you attractive, yes, but it’s not- it’s not that, it’s more complicated than that.”

“Then talk to me,” Niall moved his chair closer to Liam so their arms were touching, “I’m listening, whatever it is, we can fix it, right?”

“I don’t know…” Liam tilted his head to the side with a doubt on his face. “I think I should like, explain. Why is it this way.”

“Oh. Okay then,” Niall nodded, confusion all over this face.

“Well, when I was diagnosed with depression they said that- that it’d affect my sex life, at the time it was like ‘oh okay’ cause I was pretty young and didn’t really understand but then I actually realized what it meant. Depression affects… your brain, if that’s how you’d like to put it, and sex, as many other activities are “controlled” by the brain. This is- a lot harder to explain than I thought,” Liam took a deep breath.

“It’s fine, I get what you mean. I just want to know what is it and what goes on so I don’t get like- frustrated when something happens.”

“Alright, so um… what happens is that you lose interest or motivation in doing things that were pleasurable before, is like- it’s a chemical thing.”

Niall blinked and stared for a moment as if he was processing the information he was given as Liam draw patterns on the table with his finger until Niall spoke, “so… you don’t enjoy sex? That’s the conclusion?” What?

“No,” Liam tried to laugh it off, “I do, it’s just- hard to get me there, I guess.”

“Oh.” Yeah, _oh._ “Maybe we should, like… talk about it?”

“Aren’t we doing that now?” Liam looked at the blonde confused.

“No, I mean, talk about what you like,” Niall explained and Liam blushed.

“That’s kind of… embarrassing, don’t you think?”

“Not at all,” Niall moved even closer, putting his hand over Liam’s on the table, “I mean, you’ve done it before, right?” he asked and Liam nodded, “well, so did I, and I mean, this is something we both want. Both, right?” Niall gave him a look.

“Yeah,” Liam nodded slightly.

“Then I don’t think it should be embarrassing at all, I think it’s the mature way to make it work.”

“I meant embarrassing in a way like, people don’t usually talk about this stuff before having sex, it just happens.”

“I’m sure people with kinks talk about it all the time though.”

Liam sighed, “that’s different. This is not me having some weird kink, this is me not even being able to have fucking normal sex with my boyfriend and it’s frustrating for me, okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Niall mumbled, resting his head on Liam’s shoulder, “I don’t want to push you either.”

“It’s okay. They way you feel it’s normal, it’s me who’s not fucking normal.”

“Hey, don’t say that. I’m sure you’re not the only one who has to go through this,” Niall shrugged, intertwining their fingers. “Promise me we’ll talk about it, yeah? We don’t have to do it now. And we don’t have to like- talk about it and go do it, just- let’s figure it out. Like we do with everything.”

Liam sighed again and nodded, “okay. Thank you for always being so patient and understanding with me.”

“That’s what good boyfriends do,” Niall lifted his head to place a kiss on Liam’s cheek. “I love you.”

*

Despite everything seeming to go just fine, it was always temporary. Liam was used to it, even if he seemed to feel better since Niall came around, it wasn’t some kind of miracle that cured him and made all this worries and problems disappear. Sadly. There were days in which he felt over the moon and he laughed and he felt like it was a warm, sunny day and nothing mattered even if it was cold as hell and rainy outside. He blamed it on being in love. But there were periods of time in which his life was still hell, in which he couldn’t sleep one bit, Niall or no Niall lying next to him in bed. In which just the thought of eating would made him nauseous and just thinking of having to leave his flat made him want to die.

He really appreciated that Niall was always supportive of him and that he was there for him. Most days at least, when he was okay, when he was having a normal day. But when things were tough for him and he couldn’t even deal with himself, then dealing with Niall was almost unbearable. He loved him, yes, and he didn’t want to hurt his feeling but sometimes it was too much and sometimes he just wanted to be left alone. Like that one time he disappeared from the face of earth for a couple of days.

Last time he’s seen Niall was last Sunday, it was Saturday now, so that was six days without seeing him. He felt awful, he hasn’t been able to sleep more than a couple of hours each night, he had dark bags under his eyes and his clothes were a mess, and he was sure if it wasn’t for the fact that he had to go to work every day of the week, that’s how he would’ve looked the past previous days. His hair was a mess too from having run his fingers through it a lot and his flat was a mess, papers and folders all over his living room and it’s been a while since his bedroom has been this messy. Actually, it has been a while since he has felt this bad.

Niall has been texting him and calling him the whole week and he didn’t know how he had managed to get away for so long. He had sent him short replies saying he had a lot of work to do, meeting and he even told him once he was going to have dinner with Harry, when did he become such a liar? Maybe Niall was smart and got the signs that he didn’t want to be disturbed. Not that Niall disturbed him, but he was not okay. Niall didn’t deserve such an awful person like him.

But he didn’t get away with it for much longer, because he was in the middle of an existential crisis with some paperwork when his bell rang. He frowned and decided to ignore it, going back to what he was doing and intending on solving it soon or he was never going to finish when it rang again. He sighed heavily and stood up, walking to the door and throwing it open with his better ‘what the fuck do you want’ face. He couldn’t keep it up for too long when he saw who it was.

“What happened to you?” Niall had such a concerned face that he almost felt worried himself.

Liam stood there, watching him for a moment and Niall stared back, his blue eyes warm and worried. He wanted to hug him and cry on his shoulder but he also wanted to tell him to go because he wasn’t good enough for someone like him. In the end he just sighed, turning around and walking into his flat, making his way to his bedroom as he heard the door being closed and footsteps behind him.

“Liam?” he heard Niall’s soft voice, “Liam, what’s wrong?”

The older boy kept walking and had just stepped into his room when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his middle and Niall’s head rest in between his shoulder blades.

“Don’t shut me out,” he heard Niall whisper and his arms tightened around him, “please.”

“Niall…” he sighed, unwrapping the blonde’s arm from around him and sitting on the edge of his bed. “Why did you come here?” he asked him and Niall frowned.

“What do you mean why did I come? I haven’t seen you in like a week, I missed you,” he took a seat next to Liam on the bed.

“I’m sorry. I’ve had an awful week and I really didn’t want to drag you with me,” he ran a hand through his already messy hair.

“You should’ve called me, I could’ve come and help or cheer you up or whatever.”

“I just really didn’t feel like it,” Liam shrugged.

“I know, I kinda got the message half through the week, but today I woke up thinking that you might need some cheering so I came by,” the blonde smiled.

“And I really appreciate it but… I want to be alone though. I’m- I’m sorry, Ni.”

“You- you really don’t want me here?” Niall’s smile fell.

“Not when I’m a mess like this, no,” Liam looked down and shook his head.

“B- but, but I came here to be with you, so you can feel better.”

“Niall, I’m not gonna feel better. I’m not going to miraculously get better just because you came here” his voice was stern. He didn’t mean to hurt Niall he wasn’t himself anymore, his lack of sleep and food and too much caffeine and his mind were playing with him and he just couldn’t get a grip on himself anymore.

There was a moment of silence in which Liam didn’t raise his eyes from the floor and Niall just stared at his profile. “I’m sorry, I-“ Niall cleared his throat but his voice still came out strained, “I didn’t mean to. I’ll leave you alone,” he stood up with a shaky sigh.

Liam suddenly felt bad, Niall was the only thing he had that gave his life purpose and he had just pushed him away too far. “Niall…” he raised his eyes and saw that the blonde had already walked out of the room, so he sprinted up, walking out of his bedroom and saw Niall halfway to the door. “Why are you crying?” he asked him standing meters away from him.  

Niall stopped walking but didn’t turn around immediately, he stood with his back to Liam for a couple of seconds before turning to look at him. Liam didn’t want to see that sad look on him ever again, let alone be the one to put it on his beautiful face again. He needed to get his shit together for once.

“Because I failed,” Niall answered him, his voice sounding empty and without any will to talk.

Liam frowned, confused at Niall’s words, failed? What was he talking about? “Failed?” he asked him and Niall nodded.

“I failed you because I couldn’t keep you from feeling down and I failed because I promised myself that I wouldn’t let this happen, that I’d do my best to help you get better but I didn’t try hard enough.”

No. No, no, no, this was the last thing he wanted to happen. He didn’t want Niall to blame himself for what he was going through, for what he was. Niall couldn’t fix that, he couldn’t feel the unfixable.

A new tear rolled down Niall’s cheek as he looked down and wrapped his arms around himself and Liam felt an urge to hug him. So that’s what he did, he took those few steps until he was standing in front of the blonde and wrapped his arms around him. Niall let his body rest against his and his shoulders shook trying to stop crying.

“I never meant for you to feel this way. It’s not your fault, Ni, I promise,” Liam reassured him and placed a kiss on top of his head, “I love you so much, please don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry,” Niall sobbed against his shoulder and took a large breath.

“I didn’t mean what I just said back there, you always make me feel better, you make me happy, please, Ni, don’t cry.”

“Don’t,” Niall stepped back, Liam’s arms falling to his sides, “don’t say those things. Don’t say I make you happy and then push me away and shut me out. Don’t play with me like that, Liam, it’s not fair, I’m just trying my best here.”

Liam stared blankly at Niall. That thought has never crossed his mind. The push away and shut out thing was always his method of self defense, it’s what’s he’s been doing his whole life, he was so used to it that he didn’t realize that it would affect people in such a negative way. “I am… I am so sorry, I… I don’t know what to say. You’re right, I behaved like an asshole, I just- I never realized and I’m so, so sorry. I never meant for you to feel like I don’t love you or appreciate what you do for me because Niall, I adore you and everything you do for me is unbelievable,” he had to stop himself because he could feel himself getting emotional already, he had gone from angry and upset and moody to completely overly emotional but he needed to reassure Niall that he wanted him, that he still did and that it had been his fault. “I guess I was just trying to preserve you, I don’t know,” he shrugged in defeat, there was nothing he could say now anyways that could mend his behavior.

“Preserve me?” Niall asked confused with a sniffle, “From what? You? I don’t need that, Liam.”

“I know but I always feel like you’re too good from me. So happy and nice and so full of life, you’re like sunshine on a rainy day and I’m just… and I’m just pathetic and sad all the time.”

“You’re none of that, trust me, just like I’ve seen you at your worst, I’ve seen you at your best too and that is not true at all. You’re amazing and you deserve to be happy.”

“Really?”

“Really. Please don’t ignore me like that again,” he whispered, stepping closer to Liam.

“I won’t. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, we can overcome this,” Niall offered a smile though his slightly red face from the crying. He was really an angel, Liam has been so lucky and blessed.

Liam didn’t say anything, instead he just stood there and look at Niall with sad, apologetic eyes as Niall kept smiling softly at him.

“Now, from your face, I’d say you need some sleep,” Niall put his hand on his face and caressed his cheek with his thumb, “why don’t you go have a warm shower and then you can go to bed?”

Liam shook his head no, “I can’t sleep, haven’t in days.”

“But I’m here now,” Niall smiled bigger, “that’s always helped, right?”

That was a good point. “Okay,” Liam let out a breath and nodded, “alright.”

He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against the blonde’s lips before turning around and into his bathroom.

When he came out of the shower, just a towel wrapped around his hips because he hadn’t taken anything with him to change, he found his room free of clothes on the floor and the bed.

“You didn’t have to clean,” Liam told Niall who was putting a small pile of clothes into the wardrobe.

“Oh, there you are, I thought you drowned in there or something,” Niall chuckled.

“Did I really spend that much time in the shower?” Liam frowned.

“Yeah, but it’s fine, it gave me some time to tidy up a bit.”

“But you didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to,” Niall smiled, “just get changed and then we’ll nap for a bit, yeah? You look very distracting like that,” the blonde commented as he walked past him and out of the room and Liam blushed.

Liam changed into a pair of boxer briefs, shorts and an old grey shirt, before he walked into the living room looking for Niall.

“I put everything into a pile so they weren’t all over the floor,” Niall pointed to the big pile of papers on his coffee table. Niall had even tidied his living room, he was such an angel. “I’ll help you organize them later if you want, I just didn’t want them all over the living room.”

“Thank you,” a smile made its way to his face without him noticing, “you didn’t have to, Niall.”

“I wanted to help,” Niall smiled, “ready for napping?”

“More than ready.”

Liam hadn’t realized how much he has missed Niall’s body next to him while lying in bed to sleep. And he didn’t realized how much he had missed some proper sleeping and his comfortable bed.

“Hey,” Liam said softly as they both lay in bed on their sides facing each other, “I just wanted to say that… you really do make me happy and that anything else I say is just… not true. Not me speaking,” Liam brushed some hair out of Niall’s forehead as he spoke.

“I know. I’m sorry for being so exaggerated,” Niall moved closer to the older boy.

“No, God, no. You weren’t. Thank you for letting me know, that’s something I still need to learn to do.”

Niall sighed, “it just really pains me when you’re sad and like this. I wish I could actually help you.”

“You do. So much. Like I said, I can’t be fixed but I do feel better with you and that’s something I can’t thank you enough for. You’re the best that’s happened to me.”

“Same here,” the blonde placed a kiss on Liam’s collarbone and his arm wrapped around his middle. “Let’s just sleep for a bit, yeah? You’ll feel better after.”

“Okay,” Liam kissed the blonde’s head and let himself drift off now that he had Niall next to him, somehow feeling happier than he’d felt in a while.

“I hope you know how much you mean to me,” Niall mumbled almost inaudible at some point and that was the last thing Liam heard before giving in into sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not gonna lie, I kind of teared up a little while writing the last part. I hope this was not too horrible!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okaaaaaaaaay, I know it took me forever to put this up and I don't even have an excuse, I was just lazy to write. I decided to put this up in two chapters so you'll have a bonus chapter soon, it's already in process so it shouldn't be too long.  
> anyway, some things may be pretty weird in this chapter and I am sorry, but I kinda felt like I wanted to be done with this story 'cause it got somehow exhausting for me to write. but I wouldn't leave it unfinished so here we are. I hope you don't hate me too much.

It was a warm Saturday morning when Niall woke up because of the light filtering through the curtains of Liam’s room. He turned his head to the other side, trying to hide his face into the pillow so the light won’t hit him in the face when he realized that he was in fact, alone in bed. He frowned, sleepy and confused as he went to sit when a sharp pain on his lower back stopped him and he groaned. What the hell…?

He heard some noise coming from the kitchen and a bark from afar, Liam was probably making breakfast. What time was it then? He turned his face to the side again, careful not to move his body as he was still tired as hell and looked at the clock. Nine o’clock. Of course. Of fucking course Liam would be up this early even on a Saturday, why was he surprised?

He stayed in bed, resting on his stomach, the sheets of the bed all tangled around his body and his face glued to the pillow, he never wanted to leave the bed. He sighed and a small smile fought its way to his face when he remembered the previous night. He definitely couldn’t complain about the pain, it had definitely been worth it.

It had taken them a while, even months, but Niall didn’t want to think about it that way. He saw it as a process, not a mechanical one, but one where Liam had made its way around to get where they wanted. They had had some very awkward but useful conversations about how their sex life was supposed to go, and Niall was sure that no one had ever gone through that but if that’s what they had had to do to, then Niall would sure as hell do it. At some point he felt like he had been pressing Liam into it, and had voiced is worry to him because that’s what people do, talk about worries and insecurities, and if the blonde wanted Liam to do the same with him, then he needed to do it. But when he had let Liam know how he felt towards the topic, saying that he hadn’t mean to pressure him or anything, he had only gotten a smile and a kiss as an answer, because in Liam’s words “couldn’t have asked for someone better than you” well, okay.

It had started a while ago, small things to ‘taste the waters’ as they liked to call it and to start pushing the limits. It was no surprise that Niall had been waiting for a moment like that to happen, after all, he was still young and his needs had been running high for a while, while Liam seemed to be more nervous about it. Mostly about not being enough for Niall, he didn’t want to disappoint him, not after all the wait he had put him through.

It had started with the heavy make out session that Niall had somehow fitted into their life, that later on had transformed into handjobs and even later, blowjobs; even though Niall was pretty sure the latter made Liam a bit uncomfortable (yes, even despite the results). But what amused Niall the most was the amount of foreplay it was needed to get Liam ready while on the other hand, Niall was eager since minute one. Needless to say, this didn’t happen every day, no matter how much Niall would wish for it, there was no way it’d happen that way.

But anyway, slowly but surely, they got there. And it had been out of the blue. Why? Because it was Liam the one to make the first move. Not that Niall thought he wasn’t able, but up in his head he always thought it’d be him who’d make it happen.

At first it hadn’t been noticeable, it was just a quiet night and they had decided they’ll stay in and watch a movie or whatever until Liam had decided they wouldn’t be watching anymore but instead they’d be snogging their faces off. Niall was not going to say no to a bit of action. But it had been a surprise when things had started to get a bit more… heated. And touchy. Niall thought of stopping Liam, asking him if he had been sure of it but why wouldn’t he? It wasn’t that they were in a situation where Liam wasn’t being himself and unable to think, like drunk or whatever, and nor was Niall. And he knew Liam enough to know that he wouldn’t do something that he hadn’t think and gone through in his head a million times already, so that kind of reassured him that Liam had been okay with it, so why stopping him?

Well after that everything had been… unbelievable. Liam was really sweet and caring and had even stopped at one point to ask Niall if it was okay to go on and the blonde wanted to slap his face for even asking but also wanted to kiss him until he couldn’t remember his name. He did the latter, of course. Foreplay had of course taken more than Niall would’ve liked but he was getting used to it and had even begun to enjoy it himself.

It had been really nice, Niall wasn’t sure what to expect out of it before but Liam had treated him like a prince. It had been slowly and passionate and the feeling of the other boy all around him was overwhelming but he couldn’t ask for more. Out of all of the people he’s been with (even though they weren’t a lot) Liam was definitely the one that had him enjoying the most, and maybe it had to do with the fact that the way he felt towards Liam was the strongest he’s ever felt about someone, he’s never felt this close to anybody else. The tender touches, and the kisses and the way Liam would caress his skin like he was the most precious thing Liam has seen in his life was overwhelming.

But leaving aside all the cute, sweet stuff, it had been great. Niall felt like his skin was on fire wherever Liam touched him and he couldn’t keep his hands of the older boy’s body either. He couldn’t get enough of his kisses and the feeling of his skin, sweaty and rough against his own, his mind was going into some kind of overdrive. He smiled to himself at the memories of the previous night, the pain would go away soon so it had been worth it. He snuggled to his pillow, hoping to get some more sleep even though he knew he wouldn’t, knowing that Liam was awake. And just in queue, he heard footsteps entering the room and approaching the bed. But he didn’t move though.

He heard Liam leaving something on the nightstand, probably a tray with breakfast and then felt the mattress sank next to him. “Hey,” Liam’s soft voice murmured as a hand ran down his back softly.

Niall sighed and turned around slowly just to be faced with Liam’s soft smile and relaxed expression. This is the best he’s seen him look. He always looked good, or hot or cute, yes, but this was new, this was a happy, relaxed and glowing Liam.

“Why are you up so early?” Niall asked as he turned around slowly to face his boyfriend.

“I’m always up early,” Liam shrugged with one shoulder and Niall rolled his eyes while he yawned. “I made breakfast.”

“Yeah, I heard you in the kitchen”, Niall replied sleepy, “are those pancakes that I’m smelling?” he asked now suddenly feeling awake.

“Yeah,” Liam nodded, “wanna eat now?”

“Last night made you some good,” Niall smirked even though he still had that sleepy expression in his eyes, “come here,” he stretched his arms towards Liam and the older boy leaned over him, kissing him. Niall wrapped his arms around Liam’s shoulders and let a happy sigh escape his lips.

“Breakfast?” Liam asked with a small smile when he pulled away from their kiss and Niall nodded as the older boy turned to grab the tray. He heard the sheets shift behind him and saw Niall scrunch up his nose and shut his eyes for a second in some kind of pained way when he turned to him again. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Liam asked with a worried frown.

“I’m fine,” Niall gave a single nod and opened his eyes when he was sat already, “just a bit sore.”

Liam didn’t say anything for a moment and just stared at Niall before blinking. “I hurt you. God, I’m- I’m so sorry, Ni, I didn’t mean to-“

“Shh,” Niall shushed him with a gesture of his hand, “it’s fine. You didn’t do it on purpose, it’s just that it’s been a while, nothing else.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to lie to me. You should’ve just told me-” Liam was speaking very fast and Niall was looking at him funny. Seriously, why was Liam like that?

“Liam,” Niall stopped him by saying his name seriously and putting a hand on his arm but softly so he wouldn’t knock the tray he was holding. “I’m serious. Last night didn’t hurt and it was amazing. I’m really glad we did this and today I’m just a bit sore but it’ll go away, you don’t have to worry about it, okay?”

“Really?” Liam let out a deep breath.

“Really, Li,” Niall smiled sweetly, “can we have breakfast now, please? I’m really craving those pancakes.”

“Oh! Yes, yes, okay,” Liam nodded, handing Niall the tray so he could sit properly in front of the blonde, legs crossed. “Oh, do you want a pair of boxers, I-“ Liam noticed that the only thing covering Niall was the sheet of his bed.

“Nah,” Niall shook his head, “nothing you haven’t seen before,” he shrugged, “I mean, unless it bothers you.”

“What- no, no. Just thought you maybe wanted one.”

“I’m fine,” Niall beamed going for his glass of juice and frowned, “juice?”

“Yeah, I run out of coffee, sorry,” Liam smiled sheepishly and Niall stared at him for a moment. “Is there something in my face...?” he asked when he realized that Niall hadn’t moved at all.

“No, just… you look wonderful today,” Niall smiled and sipped from his glass.

“I look just like any other day?” Liam looked at him confused.

“No,” the blonde shook his head, “you look different like… more relaxed and peaceful, I don’t know, just different.”

“Oh,” Liam blinked, “thanks I guess?”

Niall chuckled, cutting a piece of his pancake and bringing it to his mouth. “Ugh, I love pancakes,” he sighed happily, “why don’t you make these more often, then?”

“I will if you want,” Liam smiled over his glass before sipping.

They ate their breakfast in silence, stealing glances of each other from time to time and smiling. It was a peaceful morning, there wasn’t even too much noise outside and it was a beautiful day, the sunlight entering the room through the curtains.

“I’ll go wash this really fast and-“ Liam intended to stood up with the tray in his hands but Niall stopped him putting a hand on his arm.

“Leave it there and stay with meeee,” he almost whined, “we didn’t get to cuddle one bit today” he pouted and looked at him with big eyes.

“But-“

“I’ll wash them later. Please?”

“Okay,” Liam sighed and nodded, leaving the tray back in his bedside table before lying on the bed, Niall automatically cuddling to his side with a happy sigh.

“This might be my favorite. One of my favorite things at least,” Niall spoke softly as he wrapped his arm around Liam’s middle.

“What?” the older boy asked confused. What was his favorite thing?

“Cuddling. I really like cuddling with you.”

“Me too,” Liam tangled up his legs with Niall and threw the white sheet of the bed over their bodies.

Niall was really, really close to falling asleep again, nothing made him feel happier than lying in bed with Liam with his strong arms wrapped around him and the steady pace of his chest rising up and down when he breathed. But he didn’t want to fall asleep, he wanted to enjoy the moment, take in everything that Liam was and how far they’ve made it.

“Was last night okay for you?” he mumbled against Liam’s chest and one of the older boy’s hands moved to his hair to ran his fingers through it.

“Yeah… yeah, I- I had a great time.”

“You had a great time?” Niall chuckled, “really?”

“What’s funny?” Liam mumbled and pouted.

“Don’t know,” Niall shrugged, “not the answer I was expecting,” he chuckled again and turned his head up to look at the older boy.

“Then what kind of answer were you expecting, hm? That it was awful?”

“No, of course not!” Niall tried to push Liam away with a short laugh. “But ‘ _had a great time’_ wasn’t actually what I expected. I don’t know what I was expecting to be honest,” he chuckled.

“Then why are you laughing at me? You’re mean!” Liam unwrapped his arms from around him to tickle his sides.

“No!” Niall yelled and laughed, “no, stop!”

“I’m sorry,” Liam chuckled and smiled down at the blonde. “Now, can I speak in all seriousness?”

Niall chuckled one last time and nodded, settling for just lying on his side in front of Liam but this time higher on the bed so his face would be just in front of his, their noses almost touching, “’course you can.”

“I just- I wanted to thank you for having being so patient with me ‘cause last night was probably my favorite night ever. Really, I needed that, not in, like- a sexual kind of way, but I was starting to think we were falling into a routine and I didn’t know what to do. I felt so close to you- _I feel_ really close to you now, I’m really glad we did it.”

“Wow,” Niall blew out some air, “that was deeper than I thought” he chuckled. “You don’t have to thank me though, it was going to happen when it was bound to happen. I’m glad we both agree that we needed it, it was a big step and I feel the same, like- we couldn’t be closer now, this is the closest we’ve been and I love it. I love it and I love you and everything with you it’s amazing. And I’m happy ‘cause you look so relaxed and peaceful now and that’s something I’d like to see more often.”

Liam smiled at him, touching his cheek with his hand and caressed him with his thumb, “you always say all the right things, thank you.”

“Just saying how I feel,” Niall shrugged and smiled. Liam leaned over and kissed him sweetly and Niall sighed, his hand resting on Liam’s side.

“Are you too sore?” Liam asked with an embarrassed expression when they pulled away and as he rubbed some hair away from the blonde’s eyes. His hair was starting to get too long already.

“No, I mean- it’s not like I moved too much so,” Niall chuckled. “But I do want to have a bath though, we’re dirty,” he scrunched up his nose.

“That we should,” Liam chucked too, “oh, I know! Just- give me a minute,” he kissed Niall’s lips once more before he suddenly got up from the bed, leaving Niall confused as he walked out of the room. He heard some ruffling in the bathroom and the sound of the tap being opened before running water.

Liam reentered the room minutes later with a smile, “all done.”

“What’s done?” Niall asked still from the bed.

“We’re having a bath,” he walked to the bed, “not a shower, a proper bath.”

“Really?” the blonde raised his eyes surprised, “that’s sounds very nice.”

“I’ve never done it with anyone before,” he shrugged, “I’d put like- bubbles or something in it but I don’t have any of those things” he finished with a chuckle.

“Just warm water will do then,” Niall smiled, “help me up,” he made grabby hands at Liam and the older boy stood by the bed and leaned over him, but instead of taking his hands to help him up, he just held him from under his knees and his back, the sheet falling on the bed and Niall giving a small, surprised yell.

“Liam!” he laughed.

“Well, at least you’re already naked,” Liam stated as he walked out of the room and Niall giggled.

“You didn’t have to carry me!”

“It’s done now,” Liam shrugged, putting Niall down when he reached the bathroom. “Now, let’s not get the entire floor wet, please.”

“Only because you said that I’m gonna get it all wet,” Niall stuck his tongue out at Liam.

“Oh yeah?” Liam raised an eyebrow, “I’m gonna get _you_ all wet the-“ he closed his mouth before he finished and Niall stared at him with his eyes opened so wide it was actually funny. “Oh my God…” he closed his eyes and covered his face with one hand and Niall burst into laugh.

“That was great there, Li,” the blonde spoke in between laughs, “I love you, oh God.”

“Yeah, yeah, it was funny, now get in there, would you?” Liam shook his head blushing as Niall entered the bath while still laughing.

*

But then something happened, something changed in a way Niall couldn’t place a finger on what it was but when he realized, things weren’t so happy anymore.

As smooth as things had been going, because Liam and Niall had been inseparable (yes, even more that they’d been before), it suddenly came to a point in which their relationship started to go downhill. But it wasn’t gradual, they had gone from lovey dovey, cute couple to fighting and arguing all the time. And Niall didn’t even know what had happened. One moment they’d be cuddling in the sofa watching the TV and moments later they’d be yelling at each other, but over what?

_(“Can we watch this movie?” Niall asked, lifting his eyes up to look at Liam. They were sitting on the couch, Liam’s arm around Niall and the blonde’s head resting on the older boy’s shoulder._

_“But this movie is terrible!” Liam scrunched up his nose annoyed._

_“What?!” Niall pulled away, “it’s a great movie, the fuck are you saying!”_

_“It’s not, it’s really bad, like- the plot and the characters, it’s horrible!”_

_“But I like it!”_

_“Well, we’re not watching it,” Liam grabbed the remote and instantly changed the channel while Niall looked at him with eyes wide in amusement. What the fuck?)_

They’d spent as much time together as they always did but it wasn’t the same anymore, there weren’t nice chats over coffee, there weren’t as many movie nights or nice walks with Loki, now there were awkward silences and argues over food not wanting to go out and why won’t Liam talk to Niall?

They started as small fights but kept getting worse with time, something that was profusely worrying Niall. The worst part was that sometimes Liam wouldn’t even get angry, it was like he just couldn’t give a fuck about anything anymore.

_(“I thought we could go out tonight, what do you think?”_

_“I really don’t feel like it, maybe some other time?”_

_“But Liam, I’m so tired of being here, we haven’t gone out in forever! Not even to the movies!”_

_“Niall, I’m sorry, I really don’t want to go out, I want to stay here,” Liam repeated himself as he walked into the kitchen, “but if you want to go out then you can, call your friends or something.”_

_“But I want to go out with you!” Niall whined._

_“I’m sorry,” Liam gave him a fake apologetic smile, “wrong boyfriend, Niall.”_

_What?!)_

The blonde even thought it might have been that their relationship had reached the breaking point in which everything turned into routine and boring conversations and arguments but how could that be happening if they’ve together for less than a year? How could they turn their relationship into that? And he hated to admit it, but deep down he knew it wasn’t his fault, but he couldn’t find the words to confront Liam about it.

Until he did. He was past his limit of tolerance and there was so much ignoring someone could take, and Liam needed to know about.

“So what’s been going on lately? You’ve been completely avoiding me, what’s going on?” he asked, maybe in a tone of voice he shouldn’t have used to talk to Liam.

“That’s not true,” Liam frowned, “we still see each other all the time, nothing has changed.”

“Yes, but you don’t pay attention to me, you don’t talk to me anymore,” Niall approached him and sat next to him on the sofa where Liam was watching some program on the TV.

“What do you mean?” Liam turned to look at him confused.

“Liam,” the blonde gave him a stern look, “don’t play dumb, you know what I mean. If there’s something that’s bothering you then let me know, you promised you’d talk to me.”

“Maybe I don’t want to talk about everything,” Liam muttered quietly and looked down at his lap.

“But how am I supposed to help you if I don’t know what’s happening?”

“You can’t help me with this,” Liam replied dryly and stood up, walking out of the living room, living Niall to sigh defeated.

He wasn’t going to give up though, but he decided to let it go for a couple of days before he decided to bring it up again. It was really upsetting, because days keep passing and Liam kept closing himself in and not talking to Niall. Couldn’t he see that all Niall wanted to do was help him? After all this time, shouldn’t he know that Niall always wanted the best for him? How could he help if he wasn’t even aware of what was wrong?

 

It had been a really bad day, nothing in particular that he could point out, just in general. His classes sucked and work was terrible and he had an argument with his boss about the way he ran the store and he almost got himself fired. _Almost._ He stopped himself just in time before he was. He couldn’t give himself that, he needed the money. But not only had that happened, his phone had also broken. It was fucking broken. It had fallen to the floor, the screen was completely cracked and it wouldn’t even turn on so he had to take it to the store to see if he could get it fixed.

He got to Liam’s almost at eight in the evening and was greeted with a tired looking faced Liam. “Long day?” he asked as he closed the door behind himself.

“Yeah, terrible,” Liam let his body fell in the couch.

“Make room for me,” Niall approached the sofa and Liam made a sound of complain, “okay, you don’t have to lie with me,” he rolled his eyes annoyed and sat in the armrest.

“I didn’t order anything yet but you can if you want, I’m not really hungry,” Liam shrugged.

“Are you alright?” Niall frowned, looking down at the older boy.

“Yeah, life just sucks,” Liam turned to his side with a sigh. Well in that exact moment and day Niall could actually agree but he wasn’t about to say it.

“Why, what happened?”

“Nothing happened, everything just sucks,” mumbled Liam.

“But something must have happened for you to feel like this.”

“Not actually, I just haven’t been very well lately,” Liam shrugged once again.

“Why didn’t you say anything to me earlier? I asked you the other day, Li,” Niall tried to remain calm but his voice still had an edge of warning in his voice.

“I just don’t want to talk about it.”

“But how am I supposed to help you feel better if I don’t know what’s wrong?”

“Maybe you can’t help me with this. Maybe I don’t want you to help me, Niall. Have you ever thought of that?” Actually, no; but he couldn’t help but feel a little taken aback at Liam’s words.

“You- you don’t want me to help?” he asked confused.

Liam sighed and moved so he was now sitting on the sofa, “you don’t have to help me with everything. You _can’t_ help me with everything, Niall, this is something I need to go through alone, you’ll understand one day.” He’ll understand one day? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

“Maybe I can’t do it but I can bloody well try, Liam. I mean, if you at least let me do it!” the blonde almost yelled at him.

“This has nothing to do with you!” Liam exclaimed back.

“Then don’t go snapping and ignoring me for a week trying to catch my attention and then get angry when I ask you about it!” now Niall was standing, looking at his boyfriend with stern eyes.

“What the hell?! Who said I was trying to catch your attention? I hate to break it to you, Niall, but you’re not the center of the universe! I just want to do this on my own, is it too much to ask for a bit of space?!” Liam stood up too and was now fully yelling at him.

Niall stood there frozen, looking at Liam who was breathing heavily now. “You really want me to leave you alone?” Niall asked calmly and looked down for a second before looking up at the older boy.

“I- I think I really need some time on my own, yes.”

“So is this like- are you breaking up with me?” Niall raised his eyebrows at him.

“What- no!” Liam almost looked _offended._ “Why would I do- don’t even answer me.”

“How would I know?!” Niall raised his arms in frustration, “you don’t talk to me anymore, you’re always quiet and mopping and when I ask you say you don’t want to tell me about it, this has been going on for like- I don’t know, weeks! And now you tell me you want time for yourself, maybe you just fucking wanted to break up with me but didn’t even tell me so I’d do it and you’d make it about me just like you always do!”

It was suddenly like the world stopped for minutes, Niall was breathing heavily and Liam was staring at him with wide eyes and an unreadable expression.

“I want you to get out” Liam said with such a calm voice that it was almost scary.

“You want me to get out?” Niall asked with a bitter voice in a sarcastic tone. “I’ll leave you alone but don’t go calling me in a couple of hours saying how wrong you were and that you need me to be happy and-“ he stopped suddenly because yes, that was low, too low. Even for him. “I- I’m sorry, I wasn’t-“

“No.” Liam stopped him. “No. You’re right” he cleared his throat, “I think you should go now.”

“But- are we just gonna leave it at this? Not gonna talk about it, nothing?”

“I think everything that needed to be said was already said,” Liam turned around and sat on the couch again.

Niall let out a deep breath, feeling defeated. He wasn’t going to get anything out of Liam now, so he turned around, grabbed his bag and opened the door but stopped before getting out, “call me when you want to talk or whatever,” he said and walked out, almost closing the door completely behind him but stopping before it did, “oh, and also, my phone broke so I took it to the store to get it fixed, so if you wanna reach me then I don’t know, call the store or call me home or just go looking for me somewhere or whatever. I hope you solve whatever you have to solve. Have a nice day, Liam” and then he closed the door. Liam didn’t even say goodbye, he didn’t even _look_ at him before he closed the door. God, he felt so bad, so awful, he loved that boy so, _so_ much but this needed to be done, it was bound to happen because things hadn’t been going good lately. He just hoped Liam would reconsider everything so they could solve whatever the fuck this was.

 

When he got home he was exhausted, he felt like his knees were about to give up and he wanted to cry. So he did, he crawled into bed and cried, just a bit though, he didn’t want to let this fight affect him too much because everything was uncertain. He could only hope for the best.

He didn’t even have time to get out of his clothes because the next thing he knew was that he was already asleep.

*

“Niall,” Louis tried to catch the blonde’s attention but he was too concentrated. Or maybe he wasn’t concentrated at all and that’s what he was trying to tell him, “Niall!”

“What?!” Niall stopped playing his guitar all of a sudden.

“You’re playing off beat, you’re going too fast!” Louis exclaimed as he threw his hands up and Niall groaned.

It was Friday and Louis had agreed on helping Niall with some project, he needed two instruments and thought it’d be faster if he played one and someone else played the other, and also it’d be easier to realize if he did anything wrong if they could be played at the same time. And quicker because he wanted to be over with his project so he could go home. But by the way things were, he wasn’t remotely close to finishing anything.

“Is everything alright?” Louis had asked, they were both in his flat so they could stop whenever they wanted, different than if they had done this in college, where they had a limited time before another student needed the instruments.

Niall sighed, “yeah, everything’s fine.”

“Okay, I mean- I don’t want to intrude or anything but it’s really strange that you’re playing off beat, I mean, it’s something you wrote and been working on and you have this really perfect timing thing and-“

“I had a fight with Liam,” Niall interrupted him with a calm voice and put his guitar down.

“Oh,” his friend blinked and nodded slowly, “what happened?”

“I… I don’t know, things have been really weird lately and… I guess we came to a breaking point. I tried, Lou, I swear, I asked him what was wrong, did it several times and still, he wouldn’t tell me.”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Louis gave him an apologetic smile, “I… I really don’t know what to tell you, I mean, I don’t really know Liam too well either but… but maybe he needs some time? You know how he is.”

“Yeah, he told me he needed some time,” Niall shrugged, “I got mad at him and told him to call me when he was ready to talk. I don’t know, I feel like I handled things poorly, Lou. I mean, something’s going on with him and I should be there to be with him no matter what.”

“Then go back to him,” Louis shrugged one shoulder and said it like it was the easiest thing ever.

“I- I can’t. He doesn’t want me to,” he mumbled and looked down.

“How do you know that?”

“He said it to me, he wanted me to leave him alone, he wanted his space. Said I can’t help him and that I’m not the center of the universe,” he squeezed his thighs as he explained, God, he wanted to cry again.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean that, he was probably upset when he said it. You know he loves you, right?”

Niall didn’t reply, just shrugged without lifting up his face.

“You should go home, this project can wait.”

“But I don’t want to be alone. Can I stay with you?”

“Of course you can stay, you’re always welcome, Niall,” Louis smiled and stood up, “what should we do? Watch a movie? A footie match?”

“A match?”

“Whatever you want. I’ll go make tea, you can go to the couch.”

Louis was back with two mugs of tea moments later, handing one to Niall before he sat on the couch too. They watched some game that was playing on the TV in silence except for Louis casual yells at the referee when something happened in the game. But Niall wasn’t feeling anything better, if anything, he felt bad, and to add up, what if Liam had actually called him home while he wasn’t there? What if he went to his flat and Niall was out? God, he should’ve stayed home. But then… he probably didn’t. Liam had asked him for time and Niall had given him that. If he wanted everything to be back to normal he needed to make the first step, for once Niall wanted Liam to be the one to make things fine, because he was tired and done being the one the keep everything together.

He tried to stop it, he tried to focus on the TV screen and the match, he really tried but in the end he couldn’t help the sob that escaped his lips. He felt so tired and sad, he wondered if that’s how Liam felt.

“Niall?!” Louis turned to him with a worried expression and he turned his face to the other side so Louis wouldn’t see him but it was useless, his friend moved so he was now sitting closer to him and wrapped him in his arms. “Niall, what’s wrong? Don’t cry, please.”

“I’m sorry,” Niall sobbed into his friend’s shoulder, loosely wrapping his arms around Louis. “I’m a bit sad. And I miss him so much, Lou, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” Louis smiled sadly as Niall hugged him tighter. “Would you feel better if you’re home?” he asked and Niall nodded into his neck. “Okay, you should go home then. I’ll stay there with you, you okay with that?”

“Yes,” Niall nodded again and pulled away, “thanks, Lou, you’re a great friend.”

“Oh come on, you’re gonna make me blush!” Louis laughed, trying to lift up the spirits a bit and actually making Niall chuckle.

 

Louis noticed how Niall was constantly glancing at the phone, biting his nails and standing up to do whatever. He was nervous, it didn’t take a genius to notice. He ate very little that night, and only did it because Louis had insisted on him eating at least a bit. They watched TV and played FIFA but Niall was really not feeling it, so earlier than he would’ve probably gone to bed, the blonde decided to call it a day, and of course asked Louis to stay which he did.

The blonde’s friend borrowed some clothes to bed and soon they were both already covered with blankets. A moment of silence passed until Niall let out a sad sigh and covered his face with the blanket, “he didn’t call, Lou” he mumbled.

“Oh, Niall,” Louis scooted closer, “he’ll call soon, you know he will, he just needs some time.”

“I just-“ Niall started, his face emerging from under the covers, “I thought it was just a normal fight and that we would’ve been over it by today but I guess I was wrong.”

“Some things take a bit more time, Ni, but he’ll call and you’ll be together again in no time.”

“But what if he doesn’t?”

“You can always get back to him to talk,” Louis shrugged.

“No,” Niall whined, “why does it always have to be me the one fixing things? I’m always doing everything for us to work, why can’t he be the one to do it now? I’m tired of trying and getting nothing in return.”

“Because he can’t do it and you know it. Ni, you knew it was going to be like this, you knew this could happen, I’m not trying to blame anything on you, but you know how Liam is and it’ll probably take him a little longer but you’ll be fine. This isn’t a break up yet, you’ll be fine,” he reassured him.

“I just want him to be able to talk to me, why doesn’t he?”

Louis sighed, what was there for him to say? “Niall… I know you’ve talked about this before but… I really think you should seek help. I mean- medical help.”

“I know…” Niall mumbled and let out a sigh.

“Just give him some time, it’s only been one day, yeah? I’ll stay tomorrow too.”

“Thanks for putting up with me, Lou.”

“Oh please, it’s nothing. What are friends for?” Louis smiled and opened his arms, “come on, I think you need a cuddle. I’m not Liam but I’m damn good at it too.”

“Thanks, Lou,” Niall smiled at his friend, wrapping his arms around him in a hug.

*

Saturday was no different than the previous day, Niall spent the whole day with Louis, this time feeling a little better about what his friend had told him the night before, he had to give Liam some time to clear his mind from whatever it was that was bothering him, after all it was only two days that had passed. He still held hope that he’ll call him or ring his bell that day, but he knew it wasn’t probable. And if days passed and nothing happened then he could always be the one to give in and go back, but not yet.

He actually made some progress with his project on Saturday, with Louis’ help of course, but at least it was going somewhere. They blasted some great albums in his laptop and sang and then he felt better. He forgot music had the power to cure anything. Music always did everything right again.

 

On Sunday nothing changed, Niall woke up feeling less hopeful than he did the previous day but he needed to keep this up. He was dying to know if Liam was okay, what was he doing but this was something they needed, some time apart from each other. He had come to that conclusion the night before, what if it was the amount of time they spent together what ruined their relationship? What if it was Niall’s eagerness and desire to make Liam feel better what had backfired at him and ruined the whole thing they had spent so much time and effort to build? He realized that it wasn’t only Liam the only one who needed to clear his head, but that didn’t mean he didn’t miss him.

Louis had stayed over that day too, this time they had actually cooked a proper meal, not that it had been successful but it was something, it wasn’t as good as Liam’s cooking nor was it that fun either but he still loved Louis and was thankful for his friend staying over so he wouldn’t be alone.

Niall realized that not only did he miss Liam but he also missed Loki a lot, he was just so used to having him around, it was like he was his dog too already, he missed playing with him and taking him out for walks and even the times he had gave him a bath.

He was trying so hard the whole day not to think of Liam or what they would be doing if they were together, because as it was the weekend, Niall would stay over at his or have him staying over at his flat and do whatever, mostly snuggling in the sofa and watching some movie, maybe they’d go out for coffee if it was a nice day outside. He tried to keep his mind busy, Louis helped him with his project, then they played whatever songs that came to their minds, they played a bit of FIFA, and it kind of worked, he’d think of Liam from time to time and get a bit anxious but tried to distract himself with whatever he was doing quickly.

After dinner, he had told Louis to go home, he had spent the whole weekend with him and they had classes the next day, so it was only fair for him to let him go home to sleep in his own bed, shower in his own bathroom and most important, have his things for the next day. But Louis had said no and stayed anyways, said he’d go to his flat the next day before class to grab his stuff and change his clothes, because it’ll take him a minute, which of course wouldn’t, Louis always took forever to change but he figured he shouldn’t say anything.

He sighed again, snuggling into the blankets of his bed around midnight, and Louis put his hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly, “he’ll call soon.”

*

Monday was dreadful. Nothing happened but Niall hated it anyway, he woke up confused as to why Louis was in his bed (even though he had slept there for two nights already) and thought about why it wasn’t Liam. And that after all his classes and work he’d get to see him, but seconds later the bomb dropped and everything came back to him. No Liam for three days already and this was going to be the fourth if he didn’t call. Niall was starting to feel awkward and bad. _‘It’s only been three days’_ he said to himself to cheer him up. He’s gone longer without seeing him, right? But this wasn’t the same, it wasn’t the same knowing that Liam was mad and that they had fought and didn’t even try to make it right again.

He was too distracted during the morning to make more than a couple of notes about whatever his professor was talking about which upset him quite a lot once he left. He had lunch with Louis as usual before work and his friend offered to go to his again when he was free again but Niall shook his head and smile, he had already spent too much time with him instead of doing things he needed to do, he’ll be fine.

He made it to the store a bit earlier to catch up with Zayn at least for a few minutes, he had spent this whole time with Louis and hadn’t talk to his black haired friend in all this time.

“Where have you been all these days, bro?” Zayns asked while he draw something on a piece of paper while Niall threw his bag to the floor.

“With Louis, spent the weekend with him,” he shrugged and Zayn looked at him confused.

“I think you just confused Liam with Louis?”

Niall shook his head, “no, we uh… we…” he scratched the back of his neck and looked down.

“You what? What happened?” Zayn put down his pen.

“We had a fight last Thursday… didn’t see you on Friday so I didn’t get the chance to tell you, I’m sorry,” he shrugged one shoulder.

“It’s fine, don’t worry. Are you okay? What did you fight about? I mean, if you want to tell me, of course.”

“I’m… I don’t know, I’m fine I guess. I miss him a lot though,” he sighed sadly.

“Why don’t you call him then?”

“I… can’t. It’s more of an ego thing, he asked me for space so I gave him it, he needs to learn to take the first step I guess.”

“Oh,” Zayn gave a small nod, “I know what you mean. So you didn’t talk to him since Thursday? Not once?” he asked and Niall shook his head no, “I really hope you guys get to be together again soon. I’m sure he just needs to clear his head, you know how he is.”

“Yeah… Louis said the same.”

“He’ll come around soon,” Zayn smiled slightly and palmed the blonde’s shoulder, “I should get going or I’ll be late for class. I’ll call you later tonight, yeah?”

“Sure. Good luck, mate.”

“See you,” Zayn smiled, grabbing his backpack and walked out of the store.

The rest of the afternoon passed so slow Niall wanted to rip his hair off. The sales in the store were doing better since the remodeling, now it looked neater and cooler, guess it drawn more people’s attention.

By the time it was closing time he was already bored and exhausted, he didn’t realized that being alone for that many hours will bring him down like that. He never had the chance when Louis had been around all time during the past days. So he put his earphones on, blasted some music and got on the bus that took him home.

His flat never felt so dead and without life. It lacked of spirit and all that warm feeling it radiated when Liam was there to cuddle him in the sofa while Loki ran around. If he hated his flat before, he hated it even more now.

He settled for a football game that was showing on the TV but he wasn’t really paying attention, he made a sandwich for dinner because he wasn’t even hungry but figured something to eat would be good and a beer because beer was always good.

He didn’t know how much time he spent there doing nothing but it was around ten thirty or eleven at night already when he decided to take a shower before going to bed and call it a day. His life was turning so boring already and it had only been four days. Four days and he missed Liam like crazy, he never thought he’d become so dependant, he was kind of starting to understand how Liam felt.

His shower was a bit too long compared to the time it usually took him to do it, but he found it so calming he needed some time to relax and the only place he seemed to have found it was the shower.

He was just out of the shower and drying himself when he heard his phone ring, so he quickly put his underwear on and opened the door, stumbling out of the bathroom and hitting his toe with the door. “Fuck!” he exclaimed and pressed his lips in a thin line as the pain hit him. He could hear the phone still ringing in the living room and he wanted to get him, what if it was Liam? But he was paralyzed, why did toes hurt so much when you hit them, goddamn it. A moment later when the worst part of the pain was gone he took a step just as the phone stopped ringing and the beep of the answering machine came in.

“Hello?” a voice came from the machine and Niall stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the living room, just a few meters away from the telephone and eyes wide open. There was a sigh from the other line, “I guess you’re not home,” it sounded kind of… slurred? Should he pick up the phone now? He wanted to, but he couldn’t quite move from where he was standing. And he wanted to hear whatever Liam had to say. “Been calling you to your cell phone all day then remembered you didn’t have it,” Liam’s voice spoke again. Right, his phone, he should go see if it was fixed already. “Just called to, um…” there was a sound of something like a glass moving before Liam spoke again, “I don’t know, guess I just wanted to say I’m sorry. You probably moved on already, not like I’m worth any of your effort, don’t know how you put up with me for so long but I knew this will happen,” he paused and he heard him drinking something, “I won’t forget you though, you were the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Niall. God, I can’t believe I searched my hole apartment to find your house number to say that, I’m so lame, that’s why you left,” he didn’t _leave_ , Liam almost threw him out. He was seriously thinking about picking up to tell him none of that was true but Liam slurred voice spoke again, “anyway, just wanted to say I’m sorry. And that I still love you. But you probably don’t anymore so- what’s even the point of this, right?” seemed like Liam was talking more to himself now, “if you don’t want to see me again, I understand, you can come and get back your stuff that’s in here. You can still see Loki if you want, he misses you,” he laughed bitterly and then there was silence, Niall would’ve thought he had hung up if he wasn’t for the fact that he could still hear him breathing. He waited for him to speak again. “I haven’t slept since Thursday,” now his voice was soft, “not more than two hours each night I think and days are ridiculously long without you. Ridiculously? Is that even a word?” he asked himself. He needed to pick up, he needed to pick up now. “I bought these pills to sleep though,” what? “Maybe I should take one or two and sleep a bit,” he heard him drink again. No. No, no, no. “Maybe I should take one too many and sleep forever, then everyone will be happy. I treated you so badly, you didn’t deserve that and I didn’t deserve you so what’s the point of living anymore-“ that’s it, he’s picking up now.

“Liam?!” Niall rushed to the phone and almost let it fall to the floor with the effort of picking up.

“You’re not real,” came Liam’s voice from the other side of the line, “I was talking to a machine.”

“Liam, it’s me. It’s Niall.”

“No, it’s not. Niall doesn’t want to talk to me anymore,” Liam slurred his answer.

“Yes. Yes, I do. Listen to me-“

“Are you real?” Liam suddenly sounded like he had a realization, “please don’t hate me. I love you so much. Please, you can leave but don’t hate me, I can’t live with that.”

“Liam, I don’t hate you. Now listen to me. You’re gonna put down whatever you’re drinking and you’re not gonna take any pill, you understand?”

“But-“

“No buts. I’m gonna take a taxi now and be over soon, yeah?”

“You’re gonna come see me?” Liam sounded hopeful.

“Yes. I’m gonna put some clothes on and take a taxi and go over there.”

“Are you naked?” Niall could almost see the frown on the older boy’s face.

“I just got out of the shower, doesn’t matter. Did you understand what I told you? Put the drink down, don’t take any pill, actually, don’t even move until I get there, alright?”

“Okay.”

“And Liam?”

“Yeah?” the older boy breathed out.

“I love you. I’ll be right over,” and then he hung up before getting any response.

He’s never moved so fast. He didn’t even know what clothes he had put on, could have been the dirtiest clothes ever but honestly, who cared in that moment? Niall certainly didn’t. He put the first pair of Vans he found and grabbed his keys and wallet and flew out of his flat. He ran out of the building and to the corner, finding a taxi only moments later. Thank God. He gave the driver Liam’s address. He was bumping his leg and tapping on his knee with his finger the whole time. Even though it was only a ten minutes drive it felt like two hours. He was probably making the driver nervous and uncomfortable but he just couldn’t control it anymore. He was going to get there in time, he was going to make it and Liam would be fine. He repeated it to himself the whole time.

He almost threw the money at the driver and told him to keep the change, he couldn’t care one bit about the money right now, he just had to hurry. He jumped out of the car and ran towards the entrance of the building. Fuck, how was he going to get in now? Luckily for him, the guard of the building (because Liam’s building had vigilance the twenty four hours of the day) recognized him and opened the door for him.

“Thank you so much, man,” Niall gave him the most thankful look ever and sprinted inside the building before the man could even say something in return.

He ran upstairs as fast as he could. There was still no way he’d take the elevator, and he sure as hell wouldn’t been able to go up that fast any other day if it wasn’t for the adrenaline running through him. His heart was beating so hard against his ribcage he thought it was going to break out of it any moment.

He was hyperventilating when he got to Liam’s floor but didn’t stop and rang the bell obnoxiously hard. He heard some shifting sound inside the flat and Niall let out a deep breath. Liam was still fine. Or sort of, at least. The sight in front of him was worse than he thought, he would’ve never been able to think that Liam could look this bad. His hair was sticking in all directions, his eyes were bloodshot, he had the most awful, dark bag under his eyes and his beard looked like it could use a trim. Also, his clothes were all wrinkled and stained.

“God…” he whispered to himself as he looked at Liam. He wanted to cry.

Liam didn’t say anything, just stood there with his hand on the handle and stared at Niall as if he wasn’t real, as if he couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Can I come in?” the blonde asked and it took Liam a moment to move but seconds later he stepped to the side to let Niall in, closing the door after him.

His flat didn’t look good either, there were papers scattered all over the sofa and the coffee table and everything that was over the chest of drawers had been knocked over. The curtains were down, leaving the living room in complete darkness except for one of the lights that was on.

“Liam?” he turned around to face him but the older boy still said nothing, just stared at him. Niall stared at him for a moment too before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Liam’s shoulders, the older boy’s arms instantly wrapping around him. He squeezed him so hard he could’ve killed him but pulled away moments later. “God, look at you…” he whispered as he took Liam’s face in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” Liam mumbled and Niall could almost smell the alcohol in his breath.

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything. This is my fault too,” he gave him an apologetic smile. “I think you really need some sleep.”

Liam shook his head no, “can’t. Not if you’re mad at me. Not without you.”

“But I’m not mad at you. And I’m here.”

“I’m scared you’ll leave if I fall asleep,” Liam said almost inaudible and rested his forehead against Niall’s, his eyes closing.

The blonde let out a sigh, “I have classes tomorrow,” God, why did he have to be such a mood killer? “But I’ll try to skip work to be here after.”

“No,” Liam shook his head, “you have to go to work.”

“But…” he started but paused. He knew he had to, he had been so close to being fired the other day, he couldn’t just skip, “then I’ll be over right after work and we’ll talk, we can’t do it now, Li, now with the state you’re in. I’m sorry.”

“Just promise me you’ll stay the night?”

“I promise,” Niall smiled and leaned closer to peck his lips.

“Okay,” Liam gave a short nod.

They pulled away and walked to the bedroom, Liam was half stumbling and Niall walked close to him in case he tripped or fell even if the bedroom was close enough.

“Wait-“ Liam said alarmed once he reached his room and turned to look at Niall with big, worried eyes, “I can’t go to sleep now, I have to- have to explain to you-“

“No, Liam,” the blonde shook his head, “and you’ve got to work in the morning too, you need to sleep.”

Liam frowned then and looked confused, “I don’t have to work,” he slurred.

“Yes, you do, it’s Tuesday tomorrow.”

“But I got fired,” he frowned harder. Wait, what?! Now, that certainly explained a lot of things. But now wasn’t the time to talk about it.

“Okay,” Niall nodded slowly, “you’ll explain to me tomorrow then.”

“No!” Liam exclaimed, “and we have to make up for all the cuddles and the kisses in these past days and I need to really explain, Niall, if I don’t do it now I won’t do it tomorrow, I’ve got to-“ a hiccup interrupted him all of a sudden, God, he was so drunk, “if I don’t say it now I won’t have the balls to do it later, you need to know-“

“What do I need to know so bad, Liam? You just told me what happened.”

“No- you need to know I love you,” Liam stepped forward and grabbed his face, looking at him straight into his eyes even though he was trying hard to focus. “You need to know you’re the most precious, beautiful thing I ever laid my eyes on. That you’re an angel. That you saved me.”

“Liam…” he looked at him with pleading eyes, “I… thank you. I love you too. So much,” he smiled slightly, “but I really need you to get into bed now.”

“With you?”

“With me. I’ll stay with you. We can cuddle but you really have to sleep, okay?”

“Can I be the big spoon?” Liam asked and in any other situation he would’ve laughed at the question but the truth is, he just asked because he was drunk and couldn’t even think straight.

“You can only if you promise me you’ll sleep,” he repeated his request.

“Okay,” Liam nodded. “Anything for you. I love you so much, you’re the most important thing I have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I won't take that long to post up the second part to this, if I do then you're allowed to hate me. hope this chapter wasn't as bad as I think it is!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this story finally comes to an end. I'm sorry there were some holes in between when I had to update, I kind of had a rough time with this story. to everyone to stuck around to read this, thank you so much for always reading!

Niall was woken up a bit too early for his liking the next morning, but to be honest, he couldn’t really sleep well the whole night. The only thing that calmed him was knowing that Liam was fine and asleep next to him. He knew that they haven’t fixed anything yet but this was one step closer to that.

He didn’t have classes until nine that day and it was only seven, an hour earlier than he usually woke up. He turned to the side to watch Liam, he was lying on his stomach, messy hair and his face pressed to the pillow, he could hear his soft breathing and saw his back rising up and down when he breathed. He ran a hand through his hair slowly and smiled sadly, he really needed to get him medical help. Liam sighed in his sleep and hid his face deeper into the pillow.

Niall got up minutes later, trying not to move too much or to make a loud noise. He walked out of the bedroom, closing the door after him and Loki jumped at him. “Shh, Liam’s still sleeping,” he whispered to the dog, “let me have breakfast and I’ll take you out a bit, yeah?” he scratched between his ears and the dog made a keen sound.

He settled for coffee and some toasts because really, Liam’s fridge was almost empty, he made a note to himself to go grocery shopping later.

He put on his clothes after he was done and grabbed Loki’s leash and went out for a moment, leaving Liam a small note telling him he was out with his dog in case he woke up so he wouldn’t freak out when he saw he wasn’t there.

Loki was happy as usual while being out, and it was still early so it was peaceful enough. He wasn’t out for long though, and as soon as he was back at Liam’s flat, he decided to clean a bit, or at least leave everything mildly tidied. He didn’t manage to do much though, he just cleaned all the papers that were scattered everywhere and swept the living room before he had to leave for class. He wrote another note for Liam before leaving it in his bedside table with two painkillers for when he woke up. He kissed his forehead, then grabbed his bag and made his way out of the flat and towards college.

*

When Liam woke up his head was throbbing and his mouth was dry. He felt like he was going to die. He opened his eyes slowly, expecting to see Niall lying next to him but all he found was rumpled sheets in his place. He sat down too quickly for the state he was in and got dizzy, having to put his hands on the mattress to regain his balance and closed his eyes for a moment. When he reopened them, he looked around, no one was there, except for Loki who was sitting on the ground next to the bed. He sighed. Niall had promised him he’d stay. He let his body fell back until he was lying again. He stared at the ceiling for a moment contemplating what he was supposed to do with his life now, unemployed and without Niall. He turned his face to the side to look at the clock and noticed there were too small pills, a glass of water and a piece of paper. He smiled, Niall didn’t leave him. He took the note in his hand and unfolded it,

_Liam,_

_I hope you’re not feeling too bad, I left two painkillers for you. I already took Loki out for a walk earlier and left you some coffee. I can’t skip work so I’ll be over at night. I’ll try to get my phone back today and text you later. Please take care. Love you!_ ♥

There wasn’t even a sign at the end, it was obvious Niall had written it, plus, his handwriting gave him away.

He swallowed the two pills with the glass of water and got up, he needed to get his life back in order to get Niall back, so he was going to take care of himself, shower and shave, then wash his clothes and change the sheets of his bed and clean his flat, how did he make such a mess in four days? Unbelievable.

He started by showering and shaving. Then put his dirty clothes in the washing machine, and realized on his way there, when he walked through the living room that everything that was knocked to the floor had already been swept away and that the papers were no longer scattered all over the floor. Niall was such an angel.

He spent the rest of the day cleaning his room and the rest of his flat, only stopping during the afternoon to take Loki out for a walk and buy something to eat. Also, his head still kind of hurt so a bit of fresh air wouldn’t be bad.

When he was back at his flat, he settled in his couch wish his laptop and started the most dreadful thing. Job hunting. He was thankful that the flat was his parents’ and he didn’t have to pay rent, and even if he still had some money saved, it wouldn’t be for long.

He stopped at some point, closed his laptop and prepared some coffee, Niall should be getting there soon.

His phone buzzed in his pocket moments later and he took it out to see it was a text from Niall,

_‘got my phone back, will be there in a few! :)’_  he smiled at the text.

Niall did get to Liam’s some time after that text, maybe a bit later than he usually was but when the bell rang and he opened the door, he was faced with Niall holding a bit too many bags from the store.

“What’s all of this?” he frowned confused.

“I went grocery shopping, your fridge was empty this morning,” Niall answered as he walked in, balancing himself so he wouldn’t drop anything.

“Here, let me help,” Liam said as soon as he closed the door and grabbed some of the bags, walking into the kitchen and putting them on the table, taking everything out of the bags and putting them in the right place in the kitchen.

“There,” Niall smiled, “now we can eat properly.”

Liam smiled back at the blonde, “how much did you spend?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Niall shrugged nonchalantly.

“But-“

“Seriously, it’s fine, Li,” Niall made a disinterested gesture with his hand. “You look a lot better today,” he smiled honestly and stepped forward and running a finger down Liam’s jaw, “and you shaved.”

“Yeah, I didn’t notice I was looking so terrible. Thank you for everything you did,” the older boy smiled apologetically and looked down.

“It’s nothing. It’s what boyfriends do,” Niall pressed a kiss to the corner of Liam’s mouth.

“I- I know I owe you some explanations and I’m sorry for calling you last night and saying all those things, I-“

“Shh,” Niall pressed his finger to his lips, “let’s take it easy, alright? I say we have dinner and then we can talk, I’m hungry.”

“Alright.”

They cooked dinner together but without talking too much. Liam was glad he got to do this with Niall again, he had gotten used to cooking for two, and he realized not long ago and made him happy to know there was someone who got his back. Of course the past four days he had been thinking he had lost that but now that Niall was back, it was like everything fell back into its place.

They cooked some chicken noodle soup in which Liam did mostly everything but he was glad Niall was there taking pride in whatever little thing he got to do, it always made him smile. They ate and talked about random things, Niall did mostly all the talking, as always, about his day and what he had to do and everything, but it was clear that they both were waiting for the moment _the_ conversation would take place.

“So, um…” Niall rested his hip against the counter next to Liam now that he was done washing the dishes.

“Yeah, I know,” he gave a short nod in reply, “should we move to the sofa?” he asked and got a nod in return before they both walked out of the kitchen.

“Before you start, I just want to say that I’m not mad at you or whatever. I just want you to be honest with me and tell me what happened last Thursday and what’s been going on lately, I’m not gonna get mad or yell or anything, I just want to make this work, okay?” Niall explained, taking one of Liam’s hands in his.

The older boy took a deep breath and let it out before nodding, “alright, um… so I’m gonna start with what happened on Thursday and then the rest, okay?”

“Whatever you feel more comfortable or think it’ll be easier,” Niall nodded and smiled in a reassuring way.

“Okay, so… I got fired that day, and that was the last thing I needed, I’ve been pretty down lately, I guess you noticed that and that’s why you asked, I’m sorry I pushed you away,” he smiled apologetically and looked down for a second before he continued, “when you asked me that night and we fought I was just… I don’t know, I was worried because now I’m unemployed and even though I have some money saved I don’t know if I’ll get a new job soon enough, so I was kind of beating myself up over it and when you asked it was like you brought up all that has been going on in my head that was the actual reason I got fired, you know? I’m sorry I yelled at you, I never meant to hurt you in any way, Niall.”

“I know,” Niall squeezed Liam’s hand and smiled slightly, “I just wished you told me what had happened that day though, ‘cause when you don’t it makes me feel like you don’t trust me when I trust you with my life and that makes me a bit sad, you know?”

“I- I know,” Liam sighed, “and I’m sorry. I do trust you. You might be the only person I trust, actually, I just- sometimes I can’t control my outbursts, it’s like everything gets out of control and I just can’t do anything and my head is a mess and I just want it to stop. I’m sorry I said you couldn’t help and that I didn’t want your help, I do want it. I want you. I _need_ you.”

“I… I know, Liam, but that’s just not… that’s not healthy. I can only try and help you to a certain extent but I might do something wrong and I don’t want you to suffer any consequences because I didn’t do the right thing.”

“At least you try,” Liam gave a shrug and smiled sadly as he looked down.

“I will always try for you, hey,” Niall moved his hand to caress his face. “Now, tell me what’s been going on before that?” he asked softly.

“I… I’m sorry if you don’t think it’s important, I-“

“Everything that bothers you it’s important, for you and for me too. If it upsets you I want to know.”

“Okay,” he sighed and nodded, “it’s going to be two years since my… granddad… passed away,” Liam finished his sentence with a strained voice.

“And why would that not be important? Liam, that is the most valid reason you have to be upset, I know how important he was for you and I know how big of a deal it is. I just don’t understand why you didn’t talk to me about it.”

“I don’t know, I guess I just assumed you’d tell me to get over it like everyone did at some point and I can’t take that from you too because that’d mean you don’t understand what I go through and I like to think you do. You’re the only thing that keeps me grounded, Niall.”

“Who the fuck would say that? I just- I can’t believe someone would say that?” Niall seemed almost angry, “I can’t believe some people, I swear,” he huffed out a breath. “I would’ve never told you that, Li, you do know that, right? I’m here to support you one hundred percent whenever something is upsetting you but I need you to open up to me and talk to me when something’s wrong.”

“I know, it’s just hard for me I guess. I don’t want to lose you and sometimes I still fill like I’m annoying you too much with everything I am, I know it must be hard to deal with me and I’m sorry about that.”

“Liam,” Niall took his hands and looked him straight in the eye, “the only thing that makes it difficult to deal with and that keeps our relationship from developing is that thought. You’re not a bother to me, you’re not annoying and I don’t mind that you talk to me, in fact, please do. I chose you, I want to be with you and the only thing that keeps us apart is your fear. I’m not going to be mad at you or leave because you’re letting me know what’s going on in your head, that’s what I want the most. I wish you would’ve talked to me about this too.”

“I…” Liam started but didn’t know what to say. “I didn’t know you thought that…”

“Because you don’t talk to me, silly,” Niall gave him a small smile. “You need to promise me that we’re gonna work in this communication thing, okay? We can do this.”

“Okay,” Liam nodded, “I promise.”

“Good,” Niall now gave him a happy, proud smile. “Now, there are two things I want to tell you, yeah?”

“Okay?” Liam frowned in confusion.

“First, I really want you to go see your granddad.”

“But, um- I don’t know, Ni…”

“When was the last time you went to visit him?”

“I, uh… I haven’t… since the funeral…” Liam scratched the back of his neck and looked down.

“Liam!” the blonde exclaimed, “it’ll be so good for you, and I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. I’ll go with you and we’ll take Loki. I’ll drive if you want. You can go visit your parents if you want too.”

“Right, my parents, um…” Liam scrunched up his nose and scratched the back of his neck, “I kinda had a fight with them last week too, so…”

“Last week wasn’t good for you at all, right?” Niall chuckled lightly and Liam shook his head with a sigh, “well, I think this is a good opportunity to make this right then, don’t you think?”

“Maybe. I can try. I don’t like being on bad terms with them.”

“That’s okay,” Niall squeezed Liam’s hand. “When should we leave?”

“Well, it’s going to be two years next weekend so…”

“Is it okay if we leave on Saturday morning, then? I’m not a fan of driving at night.”

“That’s fine,” Liam nodded and moved closer to wrap his arms around Niall, “thank you so much for doing this for me.”

“Not for you, _with_ you, Liam.”

“Right,” Liam nodded as he pulled away, “with me,” he gave a small smile.

There was a moment of silence until Niall let out a sigh, “alright, there’s one more thing I need to talk to you about, and I’m afraid you probably won’t like it.”

“What is it about?” Liam asked with doubt on his face.

“I, um… look, this is something I’ve been thinking for a while and after you call last night I just-“

“None of the things I said last night were true, Niall, don’t-“ Liam tried to hide the panic in his voice while his eyes were wide.

“Liam,” Niall said quietly and looked down for a second, “you know the refrain that says ‘drunk words are sober thoughts’, right?” he lifted his eyes to look Liam in the eyes, “Li, I’m gonna say this because I care about you and because I want you to be okay, you deserve to be okay,” he paused for a moment and Liam moved his hands away from the blonde ones.

“Don’t,” it was barely a sigh and Liam covered his face with his hands.

“Li, we really need to find you some help,” Niall tried to say with the softest and caring voice, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I know,” Liam’s voice was shaky and muffled by his hands. “But I can’t afford it,” he lifted his face and his eyes were sad and almost glassy, “especially not now.”

“We’ll find a way, Liam, we will,” Niall assured him and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ll help you pay, I know I don’t get paid that much but I can find a way of cutting some things out to help you pay, this is more important.”

“I don’t want you to do that.”

“Too late, I already decided,” Niall smiled at him, now his eyes were glassy too.

“I need to find a new job soon then,” Liam answered with a faint hint of a smile on his face.

“No need to worry. First things first, we’ll go back to your home on the weekend and then we can take care of the rest, okay?” Niall looked at him and Liam nodded. What the other boy didn’t know is that Niall already had a plan about how to get the money, he just didn’t want to tell Liam because he wasn’t sure if he would agree or accept it. “Alright, we can move on now that everything’s clear, yeah?”

“Okay,” Liam nodded again.

“Good, ‘cause I really did miss you so much this past few days,” Niall moved to sit on Liam’s lap and placed a kiss on his lips, “we have a lot of cuddling and kissing to make up for.”

“I like the sound of that,” Liam closed his eyes and mumbled against the blonde’s lips.

*

 “Everything ready to go?” Niall asked Liam who was just making sure he had everything he needed in his bag. They had decided they’ll find a place to stay back in Wolverhampton until the next day before they came back.

“Yeah, everything’s ready,” Liam nodded, zipping his bag up.

“Do you have Loki’s food?”

“Yeah, it’s all packed.”

“Alright then, let’s go,” Niall opened the door and Loki was the first out of the flat, making him laugh, “easy there, boy.”

Liam made sure the door was locked up properly, even if they will be gone only for two days and the building had twenty four hour security.

Niall had convinced Liam to let him drive, because he was afraid that the older boy would be a bit emotional about what they were doing that day and that wasn’t a good moment to be driving a car. Also, Niall enjoyed a bit of driving but he didn’t have a car himself so this was his opportunity.

They let Loki into the car in the backseat and Liam made his way to the passenger seat. He had explained earlier which route they had to take and all. It was 8am, pretty early but Niall said they’d be safer if they started their trip earlier than most people, and also, he was a bit nervous ‘cause it’s been a while since they drove in a route and he didn’t want any accidents to happen. It was only a two hours drive but he wanted to make sure they made it fine. So after they went over everything they needed, the blonde started the car and off they were.

 

About two hours later, they were making their way into Wolverhampton. It was nothing like London, Liam has told him already, that it was smaller and not a big city. He thought it was beautiful, without all those big buildings but instead there were old fashioned houses and smaller buildings.

They stopped at a little coffee house to buy some coffee and something to eat, even though they had had breakfast that morning they could still use some food.

“Alright, so you need to tell me where to now,” Niall told the other boy as they walked out of the coffee shop when they were done. Liam just simply nodded, getting into the car again. At first when they were just out of London they had chatted a bit and sang along to some song on the radio but Niall had noticed how Liam got gradually quieter as they approached their destination. He didn’t comment on it though, it was normal so he let it be.

Niall followed Liam’s instructions to get to where the cemetery was, throwing the older boy a side glance from time to time to check if he was alright. Liam didn’t say anything during the car ride, instead he just looked out the window and sighed when Niall stopped the car in front of the entrance.

“Do you want us to wait for you here?” Niall asked, referring to Loki and himself.

“No,” Liam shook his head still looking out the window, “come with me?”

“Alright, if that’s what you want,” the blonde gave a single nod before he put his hand on Liam’s thigh, “and Li,” he spoke and waited until Liam turned around to look at him, “you’ll be fine, okay? I’m here with you,” he squeezed his thigh.

“I know,” Liam smiled slightly and put his hand over Niall’s, “thank you.”

They had to wake Loki up before they leave because he had fallen asleep sometime during the car ride, and he was sleepy, but happy to get out and see some new scenery. Niall took Loki’s leash and they walked a few steps behind Liam for a while until turned around to point somewhere.

“It’s over there.”

“Okay,” Niall nodded and stopped walking, “we’ll wait for you right here, is that okay?” he asked, wanting to give Liam all the space he needed.

“Okay,” Liam said softly and nodded weakly, standing there for a moment longer before he turned around to keep walking.

Luckily for Niall, Loki behaved and stayed seated as he had ordered him, he didn’t think it was correct to let him run around and go sniffing everything in a place like this, it’d be disrespectful. And it was good that it was a nice day, the sky was light blue and the sun was out, barely any cloud could be seen, which was good, he knew that for some reason the weather could affect the way you felt, it wasn’t for nothing that rainy days had that reputation of being depressive.

He watched Liam standing in front of his granddad’s grave for a long time, then he saw him sitting in front of it. He couldn’t hear him speak but he could see him moving his lips. Barely, but he knew he was talking to him. He saw him wipping his face from time to time and he knew that he was crying, and it was okay, it was more than okay. Liam needed this and he needed to let it out. He knew how important this was for him and that was the reason he had brought him here. He could’ve been standing there for thirty minutes of two hours, he didn’t know, but he was willing to give Liam all the time he needed to do this.

He had been also sitting in the floor, next to Loki when he saw Liam standing, so he did the same. He saw him drying his face with his hand and taking a deep breath before he turned to walk in his direction.

Niall was waiting for him with a small, understanding smile on his lips when he saw Liam approaching him, his eyes a bit bloodshot and swollen probably from the crying.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, and it was most probably a stupid question, but what else are you supposed to say in a situation like this?

Liam stood there looking at him for a short moment, looking unsure of something before he spoke, “would you…” he cleared his throat, “would you like to meet him?”

Niall didn’t hide the smile on his face, “it’d be an honor.”

Liam led him to the spot he’d been standing in moments before until he stopped, looking down at the grave again. “This is Niall,” he started with a soft voice, “he’s the one I talked to you about.”

Niall turned to look at him, silently asking if it was okay for him to talk and Liam gave him a small nod. “Hello,” he started, a bit unsure of what he should say, “it’s a pleasure to meet you, Liam told me some wonderful things about you.” He stopped and glanced at Liam to see him still looking down, “I hope you know you raised an amazing man, Liam is a wonderful person and I couldn’t be any more thankful for having him in my life. You did a great job with him,” he stopped and heard Liam sniffling next to him, “I don’t have much to say except for thanking you. I know Liam misses you a lot. I promise to bring him here more often.” And with then, he turned to Liam and nodded once to let him know he was done.

Liam kneeled on the floor then and petted Loki’s head, “and this is Loki, he’s two already. Want to say hello to grandpa, Loki?” he asked the dog and he barked, making Liam smile, “good boy.” He stood up again and stared for a couple of moments later before turning to the blonde, “we can go now,” he said softly.

“Okay,” he nodded and took Liam’s hand in his free one before they turned to walk away.

They sat in the car in silence for a minute before Niall decided it was okay to speak, “where to now?”

“Is it lunch time yet?” he asked, looking at the clock in the board. “I’m not very hungry but we can still go have something to eat if you want.”

“Alright. Lead the way then, I’ve got no idea where to go,” he shrugged.

*

After their lunch, in which Liam had taken them to a place where they could eat on a table outside, that way Loki could stay with them, they had made their way to Liam’s parents’ house. Niall knew he wasn’t exactly excited about it but it was better to get everything done and right while they were there.

The blonde stopped the car in front of what Liam indicated was his parents house and turned off the ignition. Liam sighed.

“Alright, let’s go,” the older boy said, unbuckling his belt and opening the door to get out. Niall followed him, letting Loki out of the back seat and took his leash and they walked the few steps until they reached the door. “I have the key but I feel like it’d be better if I ring the bell.”

“Then ring the bell,” Niall shrugged. And Liam did.

They waited just a minute until Liam’s mother opened the door. “Liam?” she said both confused and surprised, “what a surprise! Hello to you too, boys,” she smiled at Niall and Loki, “come on in,” she stepped to the side to let them in. “Why didn’t you just come in?” she asked once the door was closed and they were walking into the living room.

“I don’t know, I don’t live here anymore and as I didn’t tell you I was coming I thought you might freak out if you heard someone just opening the door.”

“Well, that’s right though. Seat, boys,” she smiled. “Did you have lunch already?” she asked them and Liam nodded. “And may I ask what are you doing here? It’s been a while since the last time you’ve been here.”

“I, um… I came to visit grandpa, you know today is-“

“I know,” her mother smiled in understanding. “It’s the first time you do.”

“Well, it’s been hard for me, you know that but Niall said it’d be good if I came to see him, so…” he shrugged.

“It took you a boyfriend to realize that but I’m glad you did. Thank you for that, Niall,” she smiled at the blonde and he just nodded. “Are you guys going back to London later today?”

Liam shook his head, “Tomorrow. We need to go find a place to stay and all,” he explained and his mother looked at him with a confused frown.

“Why would you do that? You can stay here.”

“I just… I thought I’d come and apologize for what I said the other day and leave, I don’t know, I didn’t want you to be mad at me.”

“We’re not mad at you, Liam, we know how hard some things are for you and we just want what’s best for you, nothing else. You are welcome here if you want to stay.”

Liam turned to look at Niall with a questioning expression and Niall smiled softly, “we can stay if you want, I know you don’t see your parents much.”

“Thanks, Ni,” Liam smiled and put a hand on the blonde’s thigh.

“Great! Your father’s gonna be so happy you’re here, Liam.”

“Yeah… I’m happy I’m here too. Sorry about all the awful things I said.”

“You’re forgiven. Now, do you have any stuff you’d like to carry upstairs?”

The only things they had brought were their bags, so they took them from the car and Liam lead the way to his room and stopped before he opened the door. “Are you sure you want to sleep here? The guest room has a bigger bed, we’ll be more comfortable there.”

“Is there something in your room you don’t want me to see?” Niall smirked.

“No, just asking,” Liam shrugged.

“But less space in bed means we get to cuddle closer,” Niall leaned over to whisper in Liam’s ear and made him chuckle.

“I wouldn’t say no to that.”

“I knew you wouldn’t,” Niall smiled and kissed his cheek as Liam pushed the door open. “So… my childhood room…” he commented as they stepped inside.

“And teenage years, don’t act like you left here so long ago,” the blonde chuckled, “oh my God, are those bunnies in your curtains?”

“I, uh- it was my mum’s idea and-“

“They are so cute, oh God,” Niall laughed.

“Wanna go out and see some things around?” Liam asked as he placed his bag on a corner of his old room.

“Yes! I’d love to, Li. And you should tell me stories about when you were a kid while we do it.”

“I, uh- okay?” Liam chuckled confused and they both made their way out of the room to let Karen know they’ll be out for the rest of the day but back dinner.

 

They had decided to leave Loki with his mum for the afternoon, and they took the car. Liam drove them around for the rest of the day and Niall got to see all the places that had been a part of Liam’s life, from the park his mother used to take him when he was a kid, where they sat for a while and Liam told him how he loved the swings when he was a kid among other stuff, to his school he went to and the gym he used to go years back. They stopped for ice cream at some point before they carried on with their tour. Truth was, it wasn’t that big of a city, and even though they hadn’t seen all of it, it was a beautiful day and they thought they could use some distraction after what their morning had been. Niall knew Liam was still a bit sensitive about the topic but was thankful he was taking it so well now.

By the time they made it back to Liam’s parents’ house it was almost dinner time, and his father was there already so they both had some time to sit and have a chat. Dinner was lovely and Niall really appreciated that Liam’s parents accepted him and let him in, which came in handy because there was something he needed to talk to them about, he just needed to find the right time to do it without Liam in the room.

They watched the TV after dinner with Liam’s parents, some movie none of them had seen yet and they had some tea. Liam was grateful that everything with his parents was alright now, but he was trying to avoid talking about his current working situation, because he didn’t tell them about it yet. And actually, he wasn’t sure he will. He really didn’t want to worry them, it was enough with Niall, he knew their parents would freak out about how it’d affect his life quality. But if he was being honest, he felt fine, in fact, he felt relieved. He hated his job and even though he needed to put himself out there to get a new one, he was okay with letting go of that one, it was about time he did. He’d miss Harry though.

They excused themselves around midnight to go to bed, they had both woken up early to drive all the way there and they just wanted to at least lie in bed. They made their way upstairs, closing the door of the room and taking their clothes for bed out of their bags.

It was a bit complicated to find a position in which they both were comfortable in that bed that was a lot smaller than the ones they were used to back at their flats in London, but after some minutes of turning and tossing around, they were finally okay. They were face to face, legs tangled and chests almost pressing together, their noses almost touching too. They shared short, sweet kisses for a while until silence settled between them. Liam flicked some hair out of Niall’s forehead and smiled sweetly, making the blonde close his eyes at the tender touch. He ran his fingers through his hair for a moment absently but he knew Niall wasn’t asleep yet, so he decided to speak.

“You know, about the other night we fought-“ he started and Niall tried to interrupt him.

“Liam, don’t-“ but Liam didn’t pay attention to him, he just kept talking.

“- after you left I was like angry and sad but the next day-  when I woke up without you in my bed on Friday I thought I had screwed up so bad that I wasn’t going to see you again, maybe it was because I had slept so little and my head was fucking with me, somewhere deep inside I knew it hadn’t been that bad of a fight but my emotions were playing with me. I was so scared I had lost you for real- so anxious about it, I wanted to puke my guts out. I thought I had a taste of what happiness was like and destroyed my chance,” he stopped talking and swallowed. He had spoken in a soft voice, it was dark and it was late and he felt that if he spoke louder it wouldn’t have the same effect.

“I am sorry you had felt that way,” Niall placed his hand against Liam’s cheek and the older boy closed his eyes, leaning into the touch, “and I am thankful you didn’t do any of those things you said on the phone when you called. Really, Liam, I was- I’ve never-“ he had to stop himself for a moment so he wouldn’t cry, “I’ve never been so terrified in my life. For a moment I thought you were going to do it. I thought you were going to do something to yourself and leave me, and you know that’s my biggest fear.”

“I- I know,” Liam opened his eyes again, “I’m sorry about what I said on the phone. I’m not even going to try to deny anything. I was drunk- out of my mind, the thought might have crossed my mind at some point but I want you to know that I wouldn’t do it, okay?”

“I know. But it scared me so much. What if you do something some time? And I’m not there to stop you?”

“I… the next day. After you came to see me and stayed. At first when I woke up and didn’t see you, I kind of freaked out until I found that note. But for the rest of the day, I spent it thinking about what I said to you on the phone the night before and then I- that’s when I realized what you said to me. I… I do need help. Not from you- I mean, not _just_ from you, you know what I mean.”

“I’m so happy you could see it. We’re gonna look up for a good place so you can get help and get better. I just want to see you get better.”

“I know. Thank you,” he leaned over and kissed his lips, “I’m a bit worried about how I’ll pay for it now that I don’t have a job but-“

“I told you, I’ll help. I know I don’t earn that much but I’ll cut off expenses and I’ll help, I promise. I want this for you.”

“Thank you, but I don’t want you to do that, Ni,” he smiled sweetly.

“Well, we could always- um… nothing, forget I said anything,” he looked away from Liam’s face.

“Niall?” Liam asked now curious, “what is it? Tell me.”

“No, I- I don’t know if you’d want to…”

“Well, if you don’t tell me we’ll never know.”

“I, uh- I was thinking that maybe… if we moved together- if I moved _with you_ , then I’ll save up the money from the rent and- and I know it’s maybe a bit too early for that but-“

“You’re wonderful,” Liam smiled, leaning forward to kiss him again, this time with more strength, “seriously, how on earth did I get so lucky to find you?” he smiled when they pulled away.

“I, uh- what does that mean?”

“I mean that I’d love you to move in with me. If you want to, that is. I don’t want you to move in if you’re just gonna do it to save the money. I’d love to have you around all day every day but if you want your space, I get it, no pressure.”

“No pressure,” Niall mocked him, “after all you said. Dumbass. Of course I want to move in with you, in fact, there’s nothing I want more.” Niall smiled and wrapped his arms around his neck in some kind of weird position given how they were laying on the bed.

“I’m sure Loki will be happy to have you around all the time too,” Liam smiled, his hand making its way to the blonde’s waist and touching his skin softly in circular motions under his shirt.

“I’m sure he will,” Niall chuckled as the both closed the gap between their faces.

“I, um- there’s something else I want to say. Now that we’re being honest,” Liam said once they pulled away from their kiss.

“Alright,” Niall said and noticed, even in the darkness of the room that Liam seemed a bit embarrassed.

“About this morning… I’m sorry. I knew it must have been weird for you. The- the talking part, I just-“

“It wasn’t. It’s okay, Li.”

“No, I mean- it just… my grandpa was a big part of my life and I just wanted him to meet you. I know he can’t really see you, I-“

“He can. Wherever he is, he can, Liam. I loved meeting him, thank you for sharing this with me, it means a lot.”

“You mean a lot to me,” Liam retorted.

“You mean a lot to me too. I’m glad we agree,” he chuckled.

“Me too. I love you.”

“And I love you,” he whispered, rubbing their noses together.

“Seriously? I tell you I love you and I don’t even get a real kiss?”

“Oh, shut up,” Niall laughed softly, kissing his lips slightly, “now go to sleep.”

“Alright, no need to get bossy.”

“I am bossy. Now turn around, I’m being the big spoon tonight.”

“Okay,” Liam chuckled, turning around, trying not to push Niall out of the bed or fall himself. Niall’s arm wrapped around him and Liam took the blonde’s hand in his, pressing them to his chest.

“I love you,” Niall mumbled against the back of his neck and pressed a kiss there and that was the last thing he remembered before falling asleep.

*

“Wha-?” Niall woke up all of a sudden to a loud thump. He blinked his eyes open and noticed Liam wasn’t on the bed. He moved to a sitting position and rubbed his eyes with his hands and frowned. “Liam?” he asked confused.

“Down here,” a sleepy voice came from the floor and Niall leaned over the edge of the bed to look down.

“Liam? What are you doing in there?” his groggy voice asked and he looked now more confused than before.

“You kicked me off the bed,” Liam explained as he sat on the floor.

“I did?” Niall frowned harder, “God, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Liam chuckled and Niall giggled sleepily as the older boy stood up and got into bed again.

“What time is it?” Niall asked, already snuggling closer to Liam as soon as the older boy was under the blankets again.

“Around ten, I think,” Liam mumbled, his arm making its way around the blonde’s middle.

“Should we get up already?”

“Hmm, in a bit,” Liam sighed and kissed Niall’s forehead, making him laugh.

“Come on, lazyyyyy,” Niall kissed him this time on the lips.

“I am lazy? I always wake up earlier than you!”

“But you’re home now, you should enjoy while you’re here, Li,” the blonde smiled and caressed Liam’s face with his thumb and Liam nodded. “Do you mind if I go take a shower?”

“No, ‘course not,” Liam shook his head, “you know where the bathroom is. I’ll take a shower when you’re done.”

Niall nodded and got up from the bed, stretching his arms and yawning probably a bit too loud before grabbing some new underwear and clothes from his bag. “Towel?” he turned to Liam.

“There are fresh towels on the bathroom,” Liam smiled sleepily from the bed.

“Don’t fall asleep while I’m in there,” Niall chuckled and walked to the door.

“If I do I guess you’ll just have to wake me up,” Liam mumbled, almost drifting off already. Niall rolled his eyes fondly and smiled before he walked out of the room and to the bathroom.

He tried to shower as quickly as possible, he wanted to talk to Liam’s parents and was planning on doing it as Liam showered, but if he fell asleep again, then that’d give him even more time to do it. So he dried himself quickly and put a pair of sweatpants and a shirt on, drying his hair with the towel so it wouldn’t drip and wet his shirt before he went out of the bathroom. He walked into Liam’s bedroom to find out he wasn’t asleep, damn. The older boy was actually making the bed, a pile of clothes already prepared for putting after his shower probably.

“Morning,” Liam smiled now more awake and walked closer to kiss the blonde’s lips who sighed contently against Liam’s lips.

“Morning,” he smiled when they broke away from the kiss. “You gonna go shower?”

“Yeah, I’ll take a quick shower and then we’ll go have breakfast?”

“Alright. I’ll go prepare something. I won’t burn down your parent’s kitchen, I promise,” the blonde chuckled.”

“You can stay here then we’ll go downstairs together if you want.”

“Nah, don’t worry, love your parents, I think I’ll be fine.”

“Alright, see you in a bit then,” Liam smiled, kissing his cheek and walking out.

“Take your time!” Niall half yelled and he heard the door of the bathroom close. Alright, he had limited time so he needed to be fast about talking to Liam’s parents. He half ran out the room as he heard the shower being opened and made his way downstairs, finding both of Liam’s parents sitting at the table on the kitchen, Karen was with her phone in her hand as Geoff was reading the newspaper.

“Oh, good morning, Niall,” Karen smiled as he noticed the boy entered the kitchen. “Want some coffee?”

“Oh, morning, son,” Geoff smiled slightly too peaking over his newspaper.

“Morning,” Niall smiled. “Sorry if this sounds strange, but I wanted to talk to you for a moment now that Liam’s not here, is that okay?”

“Sure,” Karen frowned confused for a second and gestured to Niall to sit down as Liam’s dad closed his newspaper. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh- oh, nothing is wrong, I just thought I should let you know,” he commented, glancing at Liam’s parents, “last week Liam and I had an argument- which I’m not going to go into detail because it wasn’t that much of deal to be honest,” Niall said nonchalantly, even though _it was_ a big deal but they didn’t need to know about it, “and after that I- _we_ , Liam and I, decided that it will be good for him to seek for medical support,” he explained, “he’s been going through a lot of up and downs lately and it was hard to convince him to come here and even to accept the idea that he needed help. I’m really happy though ‘cause I know it will help him get better, he needs this and I’m one hundred percent there for him if this will help him. I know you had talked to him about it in the past and he didn’t want to know anything about it so I thought I should let you know the news.”

Both Karen and Geoff started at Niall for a moment before they smiled, Niall thought he could see Karen’s eyes even watering. “Niall…” she started, putting a hand to her chest, “you have no idea how much this means to us.”

“I know,” Niall gave a short nod and smiled at her, “that’s why I thought it’d be important to let you know.”

“Son, I can’t even begin to explain how happy I am. I knew you’d be a good influence in his life, I can’t thank you enough because I’ve been in Liam’s place and I know what he’s going through and having someone supportive close to you it’s what makes life easier.”

“Those were such nice words, Geoff,” Karen laughed briefly. “But seriously, thank you so much, Niall, for talking to him into it and for letting us know. You need to know that it will take some time at first but it will get better.”

“It will.” Geoff nodded. “And Niall, don’t even hesitate to call if you need anything, we know this treatments are not particularly cheap.”

“Yeah…” Niall sighed with a nod, “but we have something planned for it already, we’ll see if we can make it work.”

“Oh? And what is that?” Karen asked curiously.

“We, uh…” Niall scratched the back of his neck, he didn’t know if he should tell them already about him moving with Liam, what if they thought it was too soon for that?

“You can tell us, we won’t be mad or anything.”

“Okay, um- I already discussed this with Liam, of course. I was thinking about moving in with him, that way I can save the money from the rent to help paying for it.”

“Oh, Niall!” Karen exclaimed and Geoff smiled, “such a nice gesture. We could give you the money if you need it, you don’t need to move out of your flat for that, I mean- unless you want to, of course.”

“No! No, of course I want to, I wouldn’t have offered it otherwise,” Niall laughed, “we’re pretty much all the time together anyway so it wouldn’t be much of a change for us,” he smiled, his cheeks going slightly pink.

“Okay, if you say it then we believe you, but please don’t hesitate to let us know.”

“Of course, thank you so much for the support,” Niall smiled.

“How could we not be supportive? He’s our son after all!” Karen laughed. “Now, Liam should be out any minute, would you like some breakfast?”

“I think I’m gonna wait for Liam, but I could start preparing it,” he stood up from his chair.

“Oh, I made some pancakes for you earlier, so you don’t really have much to do,” she chuckled.

“Oh good, thank you,” he sighed relieved.

“Not a good cook?” Geoff asked this time with a hint of laugh in his voice.

“Not at all,” he shook his head, “I always leave that up to Liam.”

“What do you always leave up to me?” Liam asked as he entered the kitchen, “where’s our breakfast? You made big progress here, Ni,” he chuckled.

“Oh, don’t bother him, Liam,” his mother interrupted him, “I made you both breakfast earlier so leave him be.”

“Thanks, mum,” Liam smiled, walking into the kitchen and placing a kiss on top of his mum’s hair.

“You’re welcome, pancakes are over there,” she pointed to somewhere over the counter, “and coffee’s ready too, you know where the rest is, Liam.” She smiled as she got up, “I think we’ll leave you to eat, we need to go buy some stuff, right Geoff?”

“Of course,” Geoff stood up too and they both made their way out of the kitchen, “we’ll see you guys in a bit.”

They said their goodbyes to them and watched them as they put their coats on and made it out of the house.

“You’re lucky my mum made us breakfast,” Liam chuckled.

“Thank you for trusting so much in me, Liam,” he said with a sarcastic tone and rolled his eyes, moving over to where the pancakes were.

“I’m kidding, you know that, Ni. But you have to admit you can’t cook.”

“I’ll give you that,” Niall agreed as he was handed some plates by Liam.

Niall served their pancakes as Liam put two mugs with coffee on the table and they sat one in front of the other, starting to eat their breakfast silently.

“So, um…” Niall broke the silence first, “I wanted to say something.”

“Spit it out then,” Liam commented over the rim of his mug before taking a sip.

“I told your parents about us wanting to look for the right help for you, I hope you’re not mad.”

Liam stared at him for a moment before speaking, “No. No, of course I’m not mad. I’m surprised. I just thought I’d be the one to tell them when we’ve already find someone and all that.”

Niall shrugged, “I just thought I should let them know while we’re here. They offered to give us money and all but I told them not to.”

“Oh. Did you tell us what we talked about?”

“Yeah…” Niall sipped his coffee, “they were okay with it, don’t worry,” he smiled.

“Good. ‘Cause you were moving with me even if they didn’t want you to.”

“I know,” Niall smiled before changing the topic and carrying on with their breakfast.

 

The rest of the day went by uneventful, Liam’s parents decided to treat the boys to having lunch out before they went back to the house to have a couple more hours in peace before it was time to go back to London.

They let Loki in the backseat of the car as both of the boys hugged and said goodbye to Karen and Geoff, who told them to let them know if they ever needed anything, even if it was money. They wished the best luck for them in looking for a doctor for Liam and even though it was a topic Liam didn’t want to talk about a lot he appreciated having his parents’ support. Once they were done, this time Niall got into the passenger seat and Liam got into the driver’s seat before they waved one last time at his parents and started his way back home.

 

***

It took Liam almost a month to get a new job, it had been frustrating at first because he thought e was well prepared for most of the jobs he had applied to, but it wasn’t that easy. But lucky him, he had a blonde next to him to let him know it was okay that he didn’t get the job the first few times. After all, a month without a job is barely anything, he did good, now he could actually say that he got a job almost quickly. And actually, his new job was a lot nicer, and even his coworkers were. He missed Harry, of course, but he still talked to him and saw him, they had it over for lunch or dinner pretty often.

 

Niall had moved in as soon as Liam got a new job, the older boy didn’t want him to be rushing to move in because he was fine, he still had some money to make it by, he just couldn’t go around spending it in whatever, but he managed. Also, Niall needed to talk to the owner of the flat to let them know he’d be living and he needed to wait until the end of the month to leave.

He had forgotten how much he dreaded moving, having to pack and getting all the boxes to another place to unpack and look for a place for everything, ugh, annoying. But despite that, Niall felt as happy as Liam about now _actually_ living together. They got to share their bed, going to bed and waking up to each other’s faces every day. They cooked together, they shared the expenses, they helped each other, they cleaned the house as if they were a team, they _lived_ together and they were happy that so far they didn’t want to rip each other’s head off.

 

Looking for a doctor to treat Liam wasn’t easy. There were a lot of things to take into account, if they were good, in a way that, would people recommend them? Because they’d rather make a bit of sacrifice with their money but have a good doctor than being stingy and having someone doing a mediocre job. They also preferred someone that wasn’t like, on the other side of the city, preferably, because Liam now worked more hours and didn’t really have much time. But the most important thing, they needed someone who understood Liam, because getting good therapists isn’t easy, someone who understands you and wants to help instead of thinking only of the money you’re gonna pay.

And they found someone. Liam was nervous as hell the first time he had his session, but Niall of course went with him. It wasn’t the first time Liam was going to be treated for it but that didn’t make it any easier. The doctor was a middle aged woman, she looked very serious but Liam learned that she was actually really sweet and understanding during his first appointment, which had extended a bit on time during the first times, there was just so many things Liam needed to talk about he didn’t even notice.

He got his meds prescribed and started taking them right away, he felt somehow anxious about seeing some kind or result even though he had been explained that it’d probably take a while until he could see any changes. Niall didn’t pressure him, he was just happy that he had taken this big step in his life, this was something he should’ve done long ago but better late than never, right? They even called Liam’s parents once in a while to let him know how everything was doing.

Liam had decided to take his meds in the morning, his doctor has told him it could be taken with food without problem so he had it with his breakfast. Actually, it was Niall who handed it to him with his cup of tea every morning. Also, he had changed coffee to tea, it was something he should’ve done a while ago. And it also helped him sleep, less caffeine was going around in his system. His doctor had prescribed some pills to sleep too but they were needed only for a bit, after that, he had stopped taking them because he didn’t feel like he needed them, of course he asked his doctor first.

After some weeks, maybe even almost two months after he started taking his pills, they realized that even if Liam was more stable in a lot of senses, not everything was perfect and some things didn’t work the way he would’ve wanted. The first thing he noticed, well, actually, they both noticed, was that their sex life was actually poorer than it was before, Liam just couldn’t even think about it without feeling exhausted about it, he was completely uninterested which sucked, because a relationship consists of two people. And that lead to another thing, irritation; he was a lot more irritable and sensitive, anything, no matter how little it could be would bother him, and that made him anxious and exhausted. People might ask then why would he say he was more stable, well… he could sleep better which was a good start. His appetite wasn’t such a mess, he didn’t skip meals or eat too much anymore. He could deal with normal problems during work or with Niall when he was home. See, it’s like an ensemble of things that needed to be taken care of.

But Liam did talk to his doctor of course, he was kind of embarrassed about talking his sex life with her but he had to, and she had just smiled politely while listening to him atentively, saying that there was nothing to be ashamed of, that it was something common in people taking this kind of medication. She changed his pills then, for ones that were supposed to act different and he shouldn’t feel so anxious or exhausted or irritable, but it could take a while to find the right meds, they needed to be patient.

 

For their first anniversary they didn’t really do anything special, they didn’t go out for dinner to a fancy restaurant or to the movies or anywhere really. They didn’t even buy presents for each other. They decided to stay in, had a nice lunch together and then spent the rest of the day doing whatever they wanted. They went out for a walk during the afternoon, had some coffee, bought some things for the house, they were just so domestic already. Anyone else would say they were together for years if they saw them. But the truth is they already had a lot going on and money didn’t grow on trees and they couldn’t just spend it on anything, they discussed this, that maybe they could just do it because their anniversary was an important moment but really, they’d have a lot more and hopefully things would be different by then, but right now, they were happy with just getting to spend some time together.

 

Liam’s new meds were better, not only did Niall notice but more important, _he_ felt better about himself. He was more at ease with himself, he wasn’t beating himself over stuff (not too much anyway) and he was trying to take things easier, calmer. It made him happy, because he could see, for once, that his life was going in the right direction, he felt like he was doing the right things. Of course sometimes he’d have a relapse, but he knew he couldn’t escape them, it wasn’t like he was now magically cured, so he managed the best he could. Niall helped him a lot while he was down and then he’d just have to get over it and keep going, because that’s what’s life’s about, he just had it a bit tougher than some other people, but he also had a great boyfriend, and parents and a few friends that helped (because now he felt a bit more sure about saying that Harry, just as maybe Louis and Zayn were actually his friends.)

And life was good. Well, most of the time at least.

 

***

By the time Niall’s been living with Liam for almost a year already (and that meant they were almost together for two years, wow), there was something that’s been going on through Liam’s mind, something he wanted to do for himself, he saw it as some kind of test for himself, but he was kind of scared that he wasn’t ready yet, even though it was the most normal thing in the world. So he decided he needed to talk to Niall about it.

He had woken up to go to work without Niall in bed, he frowned. He was probably making breakfast already. He had gotten quite better at cooking. He stretched his limbs before he stood up and walked into the bathroom to have a shower and brush his teeth. It didn’t take him long, and less than half an hour before he walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips. He figured he should put some clothes on before having breakfast.

After having put his buttoned up shirt, pants and shoes, he walked out of the room and into the kitchen to find Niall already changed into his clothes and serving breakfast.

“Morning,” he stepped next to the blonde and kissed his cheek with a smile.

“Morning, Li,” Niall turned to look at him with a smile and handed him a mug with coffee.

“Thanks,” he grabbed and walked back to the table, sitting on a chair and waited for Niall. The blonde turned to him a moment later with his own mug and a plate with croissants, Liam frowned. “We have croissants?”

“I woke up and wanted one so I went to buy some while you woke up and shower,” Niall placed his own mug and the plate on the table.

“Oh, that’s why everything was so quiet,” and just as he said that, Loki entered the kitchen as he barked happily. “Are you going to have breakfast with us too, hm?” Liam asked him and scratched behind his ears, earning a keen sound from the dog.

“I’m not noisy in the mornings though,” Niall frowned as he stood up from the chair in which he just sat down.

“Yes you are, when you cook, and you swear a lot too,” Liam chuckled, “but that’s fine, I love you like that.”

“Thanks,” Niall rolled his eyes and walked out of the kitchen, coming back a minute later and standing next to Liam with his hand open and a single white pill on the palm of his hand. It was like a ritual, Niall would always hand it to Liam in the mornings, it’s not like he didn’t trust Liam to take it, he just liked to do it.

“Thanks, love,” Liam smiled, taking the pill from Niall’s hand and leaning to place a small kiss on the blonde’s arm before swallowing his med with his tea.

They ate their breakfast in silence for a moment, it’s been a million years since he had a croissant, they needed to buy them more often. He had just finished his tea when he decided to talk to Niall about what he had been thinking. The blonde grabbed the empty mugs and the plate and stood up to put them on the sink when Liam spoke. “Hey, Ni?”

“Yes?” Niall turned to him.

“Come over,” Liam gestured to him to come closer, those few dishes could wait to get washed.

“What’s up?” Niall asked as he stood next to him.

“Well, uh… there’s something I want to do and I’ve been thinking about it for a while but I wanted to know your opinion first.”

“Alright,” Niall shrugged and moved to sit on Liam’s lap, who had to move his chair away from the table or they wouldn’t fit. The blonde rested his arm around his shoulders. “What’s been going on in that head of yours, hm?”

“Well, I… it’s actually nothing big or anything, it’s actually really simple but I wanted to talk to you about it.”

“If you want to talk about it then it’s probably a big deal for you,” Niall chuckled, “come on, speak up.”

“Well, uh- I know you’re already finishing college this year and getting your degree already and that I’m a bit old for it maybe but… but I was thinking I could start studying? I’d like to.” Niall stared at him for a moment after he finished speaking with an expression Liam couldn’t quite read.

“You’re not old at all for it,” Niall replied finally, “I think it’s wonderful that you want to do something,” he smiled honestly.

“Really? You don’t think I’m too old for it or that I’m not ready to do it?”

“Old for it?” Niall scrunched up his nose and laughed, “you’re twenty two, you’re not old, Liam!”

“I know, I just- you’re getting your degree this year and Louis got it last semester and Zayn and Harry are finishing too and I just… I don’t know,” he looked down and shrugged, “but I want to study something, you know? Know what going to university is like, all those experiences, I guess.”

“And you can have them, why not?” Niall smiled, “you can’t have the flirting and getting drunk and sleeping around experiences though or I’ll be sad.”

“Of course not,” Liam chuckled, “I don’t think those things are something I want to experience when I have a beautiful boyfriend waiting for me at home,” Liam leaned over to kiss Niall’s lips, making him giggle. “Now, serious talk, you really think I should?”

“I think you totally should, you know I support you one hundred percent.”

“Thanks, Ni,” Liam squeezed Niall’s waist with his arms that were around him.

“Of course. I’m so proud of you,” Niall ran a hand through Liam’s hair, “you’ve achieved so much lately, you look better and you feel better and you want to do stuff for yourself and I’m so happy you decided to go through with your treatment, it’s been so good for you,” Niall smiled and his eyes were a bit watery, “I’m so, so proud of you, Li.”

“Stop it, you’re gonna make me cry,” Liam chuckled but sniffled lightly. “I’ll do it then. You’re gonna help me pick which university I should go?”

“Of course. Do you know already what you want to do?”

“Yeah, something related to what I do at work probably.”

“Alright then. We’ve got time until next semester to choose,” Niall smiled and pecked Liam’s lips. “Now I think we should get going,” Liam nodded and let go of Niall who stood up and walked out of the kitchen.

That morning when they made their way out of their flat to start their day, Liam finally felt that sense of relief, he had finally gotten an answer and support which was what he needed the most. He finally felt like his life was going in all the right directions, relationship wise, work wise, family wise and hopefully, studying wise soon too.

This was for all the times Liam told himself life wouldn’t get better, oh how wrong he was. It took him a couple of years and a lot of love and support but he got there, and how thankful he was for that, because it did get better in the end, it always does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end was a bit cheesy, I know and I'm sorry, I just really wanted to make a point with this story (I don't know if I succeeded but I tried, oh well.) I hope you enjoyed this story, feedback is always welcome!   
> see you guys in my next story (hopefully) soon! (:

**Author's Note:**

> I know, it was boring, all first chapters are always boring somehow.  
> the next chapter is probably going to be a bit shorter than this one and I'm sorry ):  
> let me know what you think! (: x


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